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Old 07-23-2012, 04:36 PM   #21
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

Mama, do not blame your DH. Let's not cause ripples for them ladies when there is already stress!! Don't worry so much about the housework. DO feed your baby often. If you can't nurse in public with a baby that young you may as well stay home. I hate to be blunt but that is your #1 even before your toddler right now.

When we would go places I always planned where or how I was going to feed the baby. bring the boppy in the car if you have to. bring LOTS of snacks and music/DVD for your DS, too. but anywhere we go I usually end up feeding the baby. when you get really coordinated you can feed them while walking around with a sling or a SSC with a cover, too. Get one of those hands-free nursing covers. they are on FSOT all the time. don't worry about the color, just get one. and keep it in your diaper bag.

I have fed my 4 nursed babes all over the place, parks, the zoo, science centers, Dr. office waiting rooms. if you are discreet most people do not mind here. As for the length of time it seriously sounds like a growth spurt.
Once you get comfortable nursing anywhere your letdown will come faster and the feeding won't take as long. sometimes it is just baby trying to work the milk out. I know if I can relax the feeding goes smoother. BUT when it is a growth spurt time (6 wks, 3 months, 6 months, etc.) they will revert to longer and more frequent feedings again. (all of a sudden it feels like you have a newborn again ) that's when you know it was a growth spurt and you will catch up later.

Have your DH read or tell him about the growth spurt info on www.kellymom.com
it was very helpful to me. if I know a growth spurt is coming (DS is having his 3mo one now) I kind of prepare. either let your DH know you won't be getting stuff done and/or ask for help.

pm me for more help. I've nursed 3 babies over a year.

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Old 07-24-2012, 10:05 AM   #22
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

i couldn't read this and not post. do not beat yourself up over this! you are doing so great! my ds nursed the same way for the first 2-3 months of his life. it was seriously a constant growth spurt. i about lost my mind and i didn't have a toddler to care for! you aren't doing anything wrong, some babies are just like that. he started getting better around 8-10 weeks, and by 3 months, his feedings were much quicker and more spaced out and it was no big deal anymore. this too shall pass.

my ds will now be 3 in september and i have a 7 week old, so i'm pretty much in the same place as you right now too. this baby isn't quite as crazy with the constant nursing as ds was. but she does nurse very frequently and during growth spurts it's like a flash back to ds :P it is sooo hard with having a newborn and another child at the age ours are. ds has been sooooo naughty since the baby was born. he seriously has me pulling my hair out on a daily basis. and it seems like, as soon as i FINALLY get the baby to fall asleep he's all " i want to see her! i want to kiss her!" and then he jumps on her and wakes her up and i find myself yelling "don't kiss your sister!!". queue massive meltdown complete with hitting me and the baby and throwing things around the room. and then i hate myself for the rest of the day for reprimanding him for loving his sister. and wonder where i screwed up parenting so bad that he would act like that. but seriously. i'm going to lose it if he wakes her again. so, you are soooo not alone. your dh is being a jerk. my dh is actually sympathetic and (fairly) helpful and i'm still having a hard time. this will get better though. it really will. all of this will pass.

my ds has watch waaaay too much movies/tv the last 7 weeks, and i really feel like i'm neglecting him, and he feels it too (hence the bad behavior i think). i just keep trying to tell myself that it's normal (reading this thread has actually helped me with some of my guilt in the respect too). some of the things that seem to help though are:

- when the baby is about to eat, i get a snack out for ds and set him up with it near me. so we all eat together. this occupies him for awhile

- keep the computer near me. we play music and he dances while we sing together. i also pull up youtube videos of cartoons or movies or songs that we don't have on dvd. he thinks this is awesome since it's "different" than watching it on tv. i don't get it, but there it is. we also paint on this website: www.jacksonpollock.org. he doesn't really get computer games yet, but this one is really simple. he likes to click the mouse button while i move it around.

- i try to get him to bring me books to read or to color, but he's not really able to sit still long for quiet activities like, ever. so it's hit or miss. but sometimes i get lucky

- he brings cars or trains or animal over to the couch and i'll play with him with one hand while i nurse the baby with the other.

- we go outside and i sit in a lawn chair and nurse the baby. then i blow bubbles while ds chases them, or throw a ball for him to go get, or just watch him while he rides his bike on the driveway, or plays in the yard. this gets some energy out.

- i really don't go out much with the 2 of them. it's just too hard still. but i would like to soon. i'm working on nursing in the sling, but there's a bit of a learning curve. i never figured it out with ds. i feel like i'm almost there though. once i perfect it, i think it will make things sooo much easier. the park or the mall playplace are places i'm thinking we could go. but i haven't tried it yet, and i don't blame you for having trouble with it. right now, it needs to be a place i could sit and not have to move or run after ds that much and where he would be reliably entertained for awhile. eventually, the baby will eat less and we will be able to do more. i have no issues bf'ing in public. but WHERE do i want to go that i could sit for an hour while the baby eats and that ds would not go insane and make it impossible? once she's eating in more like 15-20 minutes, outings will be much more doable. until then, try to think of things to entertain you all at home. try to get outside at least, it really helps. and let the house go. screw dh. do the bare minimum. your priorities in terms of non-baby care should be: food (microwave, takeout, whatever, as long as it fills the tummy right now), clean clothes (not necessarily folded and put away though!), and you know, nothing unsanitary. don't worry about the rest.

also, if your dh thinks that other woman, the wife of his coworker, is so awesome then YES! tell him that you really want to learn from her and ask for her information. #1 she will probably tell you the same things we are so you can go back and tell dh to shove it. #2 maybe you'd make a friend? that would make things 100% easier if you had someone to do play dates or something with and commiserate with you on the difficulties of motherhood. good luck! this really will get better! at least....that's what i keep telling myself too
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Old 07-24-2012, 10:20 AM   #23
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

Check her for a lip/tongue tie.

http://www.kiddsteeth.com/Does_Your_...Frenum2010.pdf

My daughter had this. I had to have it revised/clipped three times. The third time I drove 1000 miles to see the Dr. in that ^ pamphlet and it is so much better.

I nursed/supplemented her first week of life due to blood sugar/pump issues with her being revised at 5 days, then got thrush and mastitis in my milk ducts, so I pumped for 6 weeks, she was revised again at 7 weeks with minimal improvement. Then when she was almost 10 weeks I had her revised for the third time, and immediate improvement.

She nurses for 30 minutes give or take 10 minutes every 2-4 hours. She goes 4-6 hours at night unless she is having a growth spurt.

But, one of the signs of tongue tie is that the baby has prolonged, frequent feedings.

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Old 07-25-2012, 12:05 AM   #24
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

In my experience, it is just those first couple of weeks. Hang in there, mama! I've been there and it DOES get better.
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Old 07-25-2012, 10:55 PM   #25
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DS (now 6 months) was like this. Baby, Boppy and a 2 year old . Between 6-8 weeks they have a growth spurt and need to eat more.

We had a housekeeper/home cleaning service come and help maintain the house every week, she now comes every 3 weeks (thank you DH!). Other than that, nurse on the go in a carrier. Oh, maybe a pacifier? DS started cereal at 3.5 months per a Peds GI.
Good luck!
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Old 08-02-2012, 05:56 AM   #26
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

Thanks ladies...kept meaning to update but every time I was online i had one hand (holding her nursing hehe)... Things have gotten a little better nursing is getting easier for both of us. We have horrible yeast though doing probiotics for me and then putting probiotics on the nipple for her. Its what my midwife and chiropractor suggested. DH still had not a clue and is so unhelpful I get jealous of the women who have hubbys that are so helpful and supportive. I love him but he is really clueless when it comes to alot of things. He is adament about me bf but always says I "feed her too much" I should just make her stop and let her cry b/c she is a baby and "babies cry". I have tried explaining to him that bf babies can't be o na time schedule like bottle fed or your milk supply will drop. I really thought he would be "all over" our lo because she is a girl but I really feel like he was way more into our ds when he was little. He said "its cause she is always attached to my boob he doesn't have time" I totally disagree..I think he is more "detached from parenting" at the moment..he works LONG hours 15ish hours 13 days on 5 off flip flop nights/days and many times when he works the 13 he is gone gone for the 13 and even if he is home he is only here to sleep (its actually easier when he is gone gone although we miss him its easier to get on a schedule when he isn't popping in and out and my ds listens better)..I am going to try to go to a LLL meeting soon as well. We also had DS to a developmental ped the other day so were working on some answers for some issues including behavioral we have with him (part of my high stress level) they are thinking maybe autism spectrum but not sure. We don't have any family or friends close and my family isn't supportive of bf anywy if they were close. My mom and sister are constantly telling me to quit when I talk to them so I avoid that alot just cause I don't need one more person telling me I can't do it cause I know I can DD is growing and gaining great! She sleeps good from about 10-3 then wakes up and is up for like 2-3 hours then right when she goes back to sleep DS is up. Anyone have suggestions on how to get her to not be up for 2-3 hours in the night? I enjoy the 10-3 sleep but being up at 3 every day is wearing on me...You ladies are so awesome and encouraging thank you all for your kind words!!
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:57 AM   #27
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

mama. I wish I had seen your post earlier! The first few weeks (and months, even!) of nursing can be such a trying time, especially when you have other children to care for and not much help/support from loved ones! The best support I've found has been through my LLL group... I've been going for 2.5 years now, and those ladies are absolutely wonderful. The continually remind me why I'm breastfeeding, and do everything they can to help me meet my goals.

DS3 is 12 months old, and still nurses on demand. He doesn't have a schedule, really. But I'd say he probably nurses on average, every 2-3 hours still. We're working on night weaning, but up until this week he was still waking to nurse every 2 hours. I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't sleep train my kids before 12 months... at your LO's age, she still has a biological need to wake often (protection from SIDS, etc).

I hope things continue to get better for you!
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:59 AM   #28
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Hmm, is something keeping her awake, like reflux or gas/poop? Or does she just want to "play"? What do you do when she wakes at 3? Could it possibly be waking her more than necessary, like a trip to the changing table? Maybe you could take care of her diaper in bed so she stays drowsy. When mine wakes I nurse right away (lying down in bed) and she'll go back to sleep on a good night. If she's having a bad reflux episode or if poop is trying to escape then it may prevent her from falling asleep and we deal with the issues. We may be up for an hour and a half those nights. I know those things will fade away as she gets older.

If you think a diaper change is keeping her up (or a wet diaper is keeping her up) you could try this. Mine sleeps nakey bottom on a prefold. If/when she wets, it is super easy to switch it out for a dry one (and wipe her butt if she needs it) without stimulating her too much. I have a fleece blanket under the prefold to protect our bottom sheet. I know, it's a little weird but super easy.

It's good that you may have some answers soon about DS. Sorry your family is so unsupportive of breastfeeding. Your DD is lucky to have a mama like you! And DS to
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Old 08-02-2012, 12:13 PM   #29
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

She wakes up I change her diaper on my bed then feed her. I think the light in our room is tii bright its a lamp on dim but I think it needs to be even dimmer...what kind of light do you ladies use? I nurse sitting up cause it hurts my nipples to lay down and nurse. She just wants to kick and play when she is up...I think she thinks its morning.
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Old 08-02-2012, 02:10 PM   #30
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First I threw a blanket over our lamp but that was kind of dangerous. So I got an Offi My Pet Lamp which is awesome. I still like it darker so I still throw a blanket over it, but this lamp is totally safe for that.
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