Pregnancy After Loss Thread

[abhernandez]

Originally Posted by lilbitcrunchy Dude so sorry! You know there's always controversy about everything and the safety of them. So I compromised and did it just a couple times a week for like 5 mins until I started feeling movement.

That's about what I do. A couple times a week for a few minutes. It doesn't help that my husband hates it. He thinks I'm squishing the baby's head with the stick thingy (I can't think of the technical term) and I'm not ever pressing hard at all. The first time I was all excited that he hear the hb and instead he freaked me out so bad that I was sure I'd murdered the baby the doppler. Hahaha. It's funny now but then I was almost in tears thinking I'd done something horrible. He made me promise to do it just once a week but I can't resist for 7 whole days. So I sneak around and do it when he's not around. It almost makes me feel bad. But not really. I love that little pitterpatter!

Originally Posted by Sunshine915 Hey everyone! I got a BFP last weekend, and have been hesitant to join my DDC since I've already joined and unjoined twice this year and I don't have the strength for that again. Alice mentiones that I might like this group, so here I am.

Yay!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy to see you here!!!!!!! And March looks like a great month... tons and tons of awesome mamas... esp from here that understand exactly where you're coming from!


And can I cry for a second? My gastro told me I can take NOTHING from constipation and heart burn during pregnancy. Really? He even said no prune products... is that true? Or do I have the most paranoid gastro in the world? And it made me cry because I've been using prunes for the last 8 weeks to um... keep things flowing and now I feel like I've done something wrong and I was so careful not to do anything wrong and I did something wrong anyway.

[TS8213]

Originally Posted by abhernandez And can I cry for a second? My gastro told me I can take NOTHING from constipation and heart burn during pregnancy. Really? He even said no prune products... is that true? Or do I have the most paranoid gastro in the world? And it made me cry because I've been using prunes for the last 8 weeks to um... keep things flowing and now I feel like I've done something wrong and I was so careful not to do anything wrong and I did something wrong anyway.

Huh? My OB (both new and old) and the RNP said to eat prunes or drink the juice to keep things moving. I've had to eat them with every pregnancy except this one. Also, Tums were on my approved list for heartburn. What does your OB/midwife/whoever you see say?

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[abhernandez]

I haven't seen my ob since but I'll def ask her. Also... I know tums aren't available here.... A doctor friend saw a bottle I'd brought from the US and he was all fascinated that we used them to control acid. I'll stock up on my next trip.

[lilbitcrunchy]

Originally Posted by abhernandez And can I cry for a second? My gastro told me I can take NOTHING from constipation and heart burn during pregnancy. Really? He even said no prune products... is that true? Or do I have the most paranoid gastro in the world? And it made me cry because I've been using prunes for the last 8 weeks to um... keep things flowing and now I feel like I've done something wrong and I was so careful not to do anything wrong and I did something wrong anyway.

What on earth? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Are you taking a prenatal with iron? I specifically take one without iron so I don't get constipated. I'd rather do use Floradix or chlorophyll if my iron is low as it absorbs better without stopping you up.

Originally Posted by Sunshine915 Awesome! I will join soon, maybe after my appointment later this week if everything looks good. The October group that I was in was so so so awesome, and I miss that. ChocolateMoose, I hope that everything goes better for you this time. I think we all understand what you mean when you say that no one really "gets it." I've been so hesitant to tell anyone IRL, because the few that do know have not been as supportive as I'd hope. My best friend constantly says things that she thinks are helpful, but ooooouch they can sting. We were talking about morning sickness about a month ago. She never really had it bad, and I said that I had it rough with all 3 pregnancies, but definitely worse with the one that eventually m/c. So, she said "well, that's probably just because the baby wasn't growing so your body was rejecting it." Thanks. I can see where she's just trying to help, but she has no idea how painful those words can be. That's why groups like this are so special. It's horrible that we've all been down these painful roads before, but thank goodness that we can get together to help each other through.

Wooooow. What an awful thing to say That's interesting though that you were more sick with your m/c. All of mine I was never sick. In fact that's how I feel right now. It is an hourly struggle not to freak out. I just need another sign things are ok and am almost mad at myself for not keeping my u/s appt for Friday. I just knew though that it was too early and there'd be all this uncertainty that wouldn't help me in the end.

I think I may have to disconnect the internet for the next two weeks and just spend all day outside or something.

[yellowitchgrl]

Originally Posted by abhernandez And can I cry for a second? My gastro told me I can take NOTHING from constipation and heart burn during pregnancy. Really? He even said no prune products... is that true? Or do I have the most paranoid gastro in the world? And it made me cry because I've been using prunes for the last 8 weeks to um... keep things flowing and now I feel like I've done something wrong and I was so careful not to do anything wrong and I did something wrong anyway.

I'm taking 2 meds for reflux and one for GERD. Your GI is cracked, cause both my GI and GP said they were fine.

[ChocolateMoose]

Originally Posted by yellowitchgrl yeah, we have tested everything *sigh* I'm having cramps now. Still not much spotting, but I'm just... not surprised. I expect to miscarry. I think my husband feels the same way.

How are you doing today?

Originally Posted by lilbitcrunchy Ha, and mine's going to be transvaginal too..sorry Lil Bitty mama's just checkin' on ya k? Mwah. I'll be busting in your room unannounced later too so get used to it

Originally Posted by yellowitchgrl I'm taking 2 meds for reflux and one for GERD. Your GI is cracked, cause both my GI and GP said they were fine.

Was there a reason why the GI said no meds (like something seriously out of the ordinary)? I had CRAZY m/s with this baby....like 19 weeks worth of nausea....and they had me stuff for the nausea and constipation, and then more stuff for the side effects of the first stuff! I was able to get it down to one vitamin by 20 weeks....Nexa Select...has iron, DHA from plants (not fish...which was part of my problem), and a stool softener.

[yellowitchgrl]

I'm doing okay, all things considered. I still have some weird spotting sporadically but otherwise nothing, and it's not really anything. Mentally I'm meh, but physically still going strong I guess.

[yellowitchgrl]

There's this song that starts out "Afraid to love something that could break. Could I move on if you were torn away? And I'm so close to what I can't control. Can't give you half my heart and pray He makes you whole.

And it hits me so hard because that's exactly where I am. I do love this baby very much, but I know I'm holding back from giving my entire self because I know how much it hurts when it all comes crashing down. I'd love to give my entire heart, but I can't figure out how.

Anyone else know exactly what I mean?

[abhernandez]

I wasn't able to talk about this pregnancy for weeks. Not even a word not even eith my husband. And I didnt tell my mother until 8 weeks (we're very close . I previously shared the news seconds after telling my dh) I just couldn't let myself care. I couldn't get hurt again. Although Im out of my normal "loss range", I still don't believe I'll really have a baby come Feb. and I think that's because I haven't let myself get too attached.

[crunchymom2b]

Melissa (ChocolateMoose) and Girlichick- I'm 33 weeks and I'm still not 100% comfortable either. I finally reached the point where I can complain about things that hurt without feeling super super guilty at least. This pregnancy has done areal number on me, physically and mentally. I was having bad anxiety issues prior to pregnancy and they've just blown up since. I was able to keep things in check the first half, but the past few weeks have been hell. Last week I woke up around 3am with bad restless legs. That leg to anxiety, which led to nausea and being unable to sleep, which eventually turned into an all day panic attack. I'm battling a bit of depression too, but the anxiety and not having slept put me in a very, very scary place that morning that I pray I never have to go back to. Throw in the nausea thats come back full force, incredibly painful hips and thighs, sciatica, being super tired, peeing as much as every 15 minutes at times, heartburn, you name it I've got it (or had it). I am incredibly thankful to be pregnant after our loss and struggle to get pregnant, but it doesn't make the pregnancy any easier. It just adds more guilt when I complain!

The weirdest thing for me is when people call this baby by name. "Tommy, where's Vinny??" "How's Vinny doing today?" "Tommy are you excited for Vinny to come??". I cringe every time I hear something like that. I love this little boy so much it hurts but having him called by name makes it too real almost. I just can't let myself allow that last tiny bit of attachment.

But hands down, the hardest thing is that I can't even breathe a sigh of relief once he's born. There's a good chance he'll be in the step down nursery for about a week or so due to a medication I take and that's been stressing me out a ton lately. So until this little boy is home with us I can't relax.

Originally Posted by abhernandez And can I cry for a second? My gastro told me I can take NOTHING from constipation and heart burn during pregnancy. Really? He even said no prune products... is that true? Or do I have the most paranoid gastro in the world? And it made me cry because I've been using prunes for the last 8 weeks to um... keep things flowing and now I feel like I've done something wrong and I was so careful not to do anything wrong and I did something wrong anyway.

That is ridiculous. I have IBS with terrible constipation. My RE told me to use suppositories and that they were safe to take as often as needed because there werent any real ingredients- they just lubricate everything to make it easier to go, and they work awesome. Gross to use, but they make me go without issue whenever i need to. My last pregnancy I was told to take milk of magnesia (nasty stuff ) and lots of fiber and water. For heartburn Tums are perfectly safe as well. Some other stuff is safe to take too butI can't think of what right now. I think your gastro is being way over cautious and could end up causing more harm. Constipation is not something to play around with and can lead to serious issues so I'd want to get it under control as soon as I could. What has your OB said? Go by their recommendations and if they say nothing is safe too, switch doctors. Seriously. Good luck Alice!

Originally Posted by yellowitchgrl There's this song that starts out "Afraid to love something that could break. Could I move on if you were torn away? And I'm so close to what I can't control. Can't give you half my heart and pray He makes you whole. And it hits me so hard because that's exactly where I am. I do love this baby very much, but I know I'm holding back from giving my entire self because I know how much it hurts when it all comes crashing down. I'd love to give my entire heart, but I can't figure out how. Anyone else know exactly what I mean?

I get it. Its hard to give all of your heart when you have no idea if it'll just get shattered. I guess that's what faith is though. PLease don't beat yourself up for your feelings, they are sadly very very normal. I've been thinking about you a lot and will continue praying for this little bean.



Mamas, if any of you are the praying type can you please say a quick prayer for my little guy, that he'll be able to come home from the hossy with us without any complications or medications needed? That he'll be a normal,healthy, happy newborn? It would mean a lot. Thank you!