The proper care and feeding of your husband.

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by hibiscus869 I loved it. It didn't make me feel guilty or marginalized at all, in fact it made me feel empowered. The author is a controversial figure, so some people might dismiss it out of hand. But a friend gave it to me and I loved it. See if your library has it, then you're not out anything if you dislike it.

this is a good way to put it.

Do I like her radio show? No, anytime I heard it, it generally pissed me off. Drama gets ratings.

I don't know or care much about whether or not she used her own advice to make a good marriage. Doesn't mean that her advice isn't good. People preach better than they act in most cases if you ask me.

As for the 'Christian' reference, I think she was talking about the 'Dare' thing. The Love Dare, Respect Dare, etc are all Christian-based books, I believe.

ETA: people get pissed off that people judge 'Shades of Grey' and 'Magic Mike' without having read them. just examples. So, I would make your own decisions about this book as well. It has a full range of reviews, but until you've actually read the book yourself, it's hard to make an informed decision.

[ulawolf]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange this is a good way to put it. Do I like her radio show? No, anytime I heard it, it generally pissed me off. Drama gets ratings. I don't know or care much about whether or not she used her own advice to make a good marriage. Doesn't mean that her advice isn't good. People preach better than they act in most cases if you ask me. As for the 'Christian' reference, I think she was talking about the 'Dare' thing. The Love Dare, Respect Dare, etc are all Christian-based books, I believe. ETA: people get pissed off that people judge 'Shades of Grey' and 'Magic Mike' without having read them. just examples. So, I would make your own decisions about this book as well. It has a full range of reviews, but until you've actually read the book yourself, it's hard to make an informed decision.

Thanks I bought both the love dare and this one for kindle to see my thoughts.

[dancermommy1]

One book I did enjoy is the Five Love Languages. Might be too religious for your tastes, I don't know, but we read it before we married and I learned a lot about DH and about understanding myself, as well.

[mel j]

I've heard of it years ago but never read it. I'm not really inclined to go out and buy it but if I got my hands on a copy I'd probably be curious enough to read it or skim it. I'm guessing I'd probably agree with some points and disagree with others. I don't think I really need the book to strive to be a good wife though

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by dancermommy1 One book I did enjoy is the Five Love Languages. Might be too religious for your tastes, I don't know, but we read it before we married and I learned a lot about DH and about understanding myself, as well.

I agree with this.

It's so helpful to know what your spouse considers a loving act. Turns out, as I like to buy DH things to show I'm thinking of him and loving him - he doesn't see love that way at all, so he doesnt buy me things to show love. And I don't get upset at that.

Anyways, knowing his love languages helped a lot

[AfWife8405]

Originally Posted by dancermommy1 Let's see. It was written by a woman who once had an affair with a married man and who publicly, on air, used the "n" word during a conversation related to interrace relationships, then told the caller that she didn't need to marry "out of race" if she couldn't handle that word. She has referred to homosexuals as "biological errors". Oh yes. And she's been divorced. But she's an authority on happy relationships? From what little I've read of this book, it seems to me to be an easy way to make yourself feel 1) guilty for having your own needs, 2)guilty if you ever don't feel like dtd, and 3) like you need to stay looking like a 20-year old bride for life unless you want some ho to come along and yank your hubby right out from under you (maybe like SHE did when she had the affair??) No thanks. I never have liked this woman, EVER. I think her radio shows are crap. Btw--Schlesinger is not a Christian. She was once an orthodox Jew but apparently renounced that at some point (or at least is no longer practicing orthodox)

Actually, I am pretty sure she says the exact opposite of that (bolded.) I believe she even comments that men love our bodies despite the things we feel self-conscious about, I believe her example was c-section scars.

I am aware of all the other issues you brought up but honestly, I don't really care because I find her advice to be sound (and I have heard her helping gay couples with their relationships.) Maybe she learned something from all the mistakes she has made. BTW, Just because she is divorced does not mean she caused the divorce.

Regardless of all the controversy, I do notice a change in our marriage for the better when I have reread the book and make the extra effort to apply her advice to our relationship.

Originally Posted by hibiscus869 I loved it. It didn't make me feel guilty or marginalized at all, in fact it made me feel empowered. The author is a controversial figure, so some people might dismiss it out of hand. But a friend gave it to me and I loved it. See if your library has it, then you're not out anything if you dislike it.

[dancermommy1]

Originally Posted by AfWife8405 Actually, I am pretty sure she says the exact opposite of that (bolded.) I believe she even comments that men love our bodies despite the things we feel self-conscious about, I believe her example was c-section scars. I am aware of all the other issues you brought up but honestly, I don't really care because I find her advice to be sound (and I have heard her helping gay couples with their relationships.) Maybe she learned something from all the mistakes she has made. BTW, Just because she is divorced does not mean she caused the divorce. Regardless of all the controversy, I do notice a change in our marriage for the better when I have reread the book and make the extra effort to apply her advice to our relationship.

That's fine, she asked for opinions, not just positive reviews. That was mine. Im glad others found it to be helpful. I just don't care for it or the author.

[ulawolf]

Originally Posted by dancermommy1 That's fine, she asked for opinions, not just positive reviews. That was mine. Im glad others found it to be helpful. I just don't care for it or the author.

I like negatives too. I am finding it interesting

[raisingcropsandbabies]

I really liked the book. She was able to phrase things in the book that DH would try to tell me, but I couldn't understand. It had to be in "womanese". haha. My husband was thankful I read it too. It helped me realize that I was doing some things in the book that was hurting us and encouraged me to change it. My mom gave the book to all of us girls when we got married and it's one I should probably reread from time to time as a good reminder.

My friend also recommended the book "Sacred Influence" by Gary Thomas (it's from a Christian author) and it's about what a man needs from his wife. I have it on the table, but need to finish reading Pastuerized Poultry Profits first. The plot of a farmwife. haha. After 4 kids in 4 years, I need some more encouragement again so I'm excited to delve into it.

[AfWife8405]

Originally Posted by dancermommy1 That's fine, she asked for opinions, not just positive reviews. That was mine. Im glad others found it to be helpful. I just don't care for it or the author.

Didn't mean to try and squash your opinion. I just wanted to clarify the part I bolded and address the fact that even though there is controversy, the advice was still worthy of reading.