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Old 08-02-2012, 09:16 PM   #11
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

Sorry mama, people are stupid. We only have one set of twins, to me that is a very small family. When we were pregnant with #3 I had a TON of comments from fellow MOMs (mom's of multiples) that we were "crazy" and much much worse. When we lost that baby the comments grew even more mean, "well you would have gone crazy, it is better this way, a family of 4 is a perfect number...". We are pregnant again and I am planning on just doing a blanket announcement, something like, "We are VERY happy to say we pregnant, we believe every child blesses our family!"

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Old 08-02-2012, 09:26 PM   #12
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I'm sorry people are rude. Every child IS a blessing! I dont understand people caring let alone saying something nasty! I always feel so happy for people when they tell me they are pg. my cousin recently told me they are expecting #6 and I just wanted to hug her! But she quickly said that it was unplanned and I got the impression that they were flack for it. So sad that she feels like she has to explain herself.
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:31 PM   #13
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

Congrats on number 5! I got nasty comments when expecting #2! And now that we have a boy and a girl...everyone says we are lucky and done. Yeah, we are done...but not because we got a girl and a boy...because 2 is the number we decided on!
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:40 PM   #14
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

I've gotten
"what are you, rabbits?!"
"oh my goodness, can't you tell your husband no means no?"
and I'm just about due with #4. Yeah. I've started just looking at them and asking "did that sound like a nice thing to say in your head?"
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:53 PM   #15
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

Don't feel bad I only have 2 and as soon as I was pregnant with #2 my mom went into a tirade about my reproductive decisions. That there is more to life then being pregnant and giving birth. You went to college so you can stay home?! The mean comments from her didn't stop until I stopped answering calls. THANK GOD she lives a few states away or I don't know what I'd do.

When I was going through my miscarriage last year she said it was because of my 'lifestyle' (well technically at the time she made the comment it was an unknown medical condition that was making me bleed and in pain for 3 continuous months the miscarriage was confirmed after the 2nd twin passed). This year we conceived unintentionally and once I had a grip on the situation I shared with family and friends FIL and MIL were ecstatic! They were so happy they were getting more grand babies. My mom? Her response was "my dog is pregnant too!" then hijacked the whole conversation about the gestation of puppies and how happy she was about it and I continued asking questions since clearly that's the topic she wanted to discuss. In a follow up conversation she once again started her usual speech about my choice to have more children and demanding to know when we would stop.

So I can only imagine the hate coming my way if we are expecting baby #5. So don't stress it. Its YOUR blessings and YOUR family so you have to make it special and not put too much stock in the insensitivity of some people.

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Old 08-02-2012, 09:56 PM   #16
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

I have only 3. The first two being 18 months apart and the middle and last 19 months apart. People were shocked and I got few congratulations and most of them were with a attitude. "Oh wow" and "Bless your heart" has replaced "Congrats". It's so sad. We don't have a "plan" or a "set number", we're taking them as the Lord leads and well, who has better timing?! So from me, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I big families!
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:07 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsviola
Congrats mama! I have 3 and when I say I want one more, people act like I'm nuts.

"You'll never be able to afford to take them to Disney now"
"How are you going to pay for 4 weddings?"
"How are you ever going to find time for them?"
"Guess you'll never have anything nice again"

People just don't think before they open their mouths.
I sometimes can't hold my tongue... My reply would be:
"Yes, and we'll teach them all to have manners when they address people. I only wishes adults could learn that!" *walks away*

We're planning on medium size family with 4 kids, but since we have 1 girl & 1 boy, people always say "Your NOT done!?! But, you have one of each!"
Grrr!!!
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:13 PM   #18
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by solarbabies View Post
Congrats on number 5! I got nasty comments when expecting #2! And now that we have a boy and a girl...everyone says we are lucky and done. Yeah, we are done...but not because we got a girl and a boy...because 2 is the number we decided on!
THIS! ^ Is what my mom also said, you already have a girl and a boy why else would you want more? That sounds so mean! So if I had 2 boys and then a girl does that mean my 2nd boy doesn't count? Is he chopped liver?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by twinpossible View Post
Sorry mama, people are stupid. We only have one set of twins, to me that is a very small family. When we were pregnant with #3 I had a TON of comments from fellow MOMs (mom's of multiples) that we were "crazy" and much much worse. When we lost that baby the comments grew even more mean, "well you would have gone crazy, it is better this way, a family of 4 is a perfect number...". We are pregnant again and I am planning on just doing a blanket announcement, something like, "We are VERY happy to say we pregnant, we believe every child blesses our family!"
that's just MEAN! I lost a set of twins last year and I felt pregnant but was told by 3 different medical providers that I was NOT. In fact I was and 3 months along when I started miscarrying the first and later the 2nd twin. I'm still mourning because initially I was HAPPY that I had an answer after going almost 6 months in pain and bleeding for 3 months! At least it wasn't my leukemia making a comeback in another form of cancer! however, once the relief wore off I started mourning what could have been and my gut feeling that I was pregnant. A friend said to me after seeing me depressed about the miscarriage "If you didn't know you had it, did you really lose anything?" yes, yes I did!

so mama and CONGRATULATIONS on your baby!
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:15 PM   #19
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

to OP, CONGRATULATIONS on #5
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:29 AM   #20
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Re: Whatever happened to "Congratulations"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy24babes View Post
I got so sick of the comments when pregnant with 3&4.
We were at a friends house warming and some idiot says " number 4? Don't you know what causes that?!"
I replies snarkily that " ya we're really good at it too"

Dh on the way home told me it sounded $/utty.
I burst into tears and took a good half hour to calm down.
He has never experienced the comments to the same degree I have and didn't understand why I would be so rude.
Do others find they get the brunt of the comments?
Fear not! I've used that comment many a time myself. Usually people either shut up real quick or laugh. I think if they have the audacity to make the comments they do, the answer is completely fine. You're married for pete's sake! A friend of mine just yesterday told me that a friend of hers was pregnant with # 7 and of course was getting all of the comments. She responded with "my husband just can't keep his hands off me" (and this was someone from my church). I personally thought it was funny.

Children are a blessing but unfortunately in this society children tend to me viewed as an infringement on "me time". I will say that I believe not everyone is called to have a big family but those that are should be respected.
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