How do you deal with gender dissapointment?

[mamashhon]

I'm sorry mama. I haven't read every reply but wanted to sympathize. I have three sons and although i wanted three sons, DH very much wanted a girl. VERY MUCH. I can tell he's not over it.

Strangers comments make it worse. Everyone asks me if we're going to "try again" for a girl. I'm sure once you meet your little guy it will be easier. Maybe talking about it might help. DH and I have been suffering in our marriage since his birth because of this and talking with a counselor and just being able to get it all out helps.

[ksburgess]

So nice to see everyone be so open... It's true that society usually makes you feel guilty for gender disappointment. I had a hard time with it with my last baby! I do know that once my little one was in my arms, I fell so totally head over heels in love that gender didn't matter. Now after, when I'd see cute baby boys, I'd feel a twinge of sadness and longing... But I'm so in love with my little girl and I wouldn't trade her for the world

Gender dissapointment is why I'm really trying to convince DH to say Team Green this time around though

(((hugs))) to you mama. I think gender disappointment isn't so much about the gender, but about the little person you imagine parenting, and that can be tough.

[omahonycm]

It was hard for me to hear that baby #2 is a girl, as is my oldest. I wanted a boy so badly, and really thought that she was a boy. It took a while to get over. The main reason is, at this point, I'm too scared to go for #3 in case it is another girl - I don't really want 3 girls, but I don't know if I'll be ok with stopping at 2. I don't think I'm over it yet, but I am excited to see what it's like having sister - I only have 1 brother. I keep trying to find the fun stuff, the benefits, like sharing clothes and toys and doing things that same gender may enjoy. We'll see what happens.

[evasimone]

This is one of the reasons I am nervous about not finding out the gender. DH wants a surprise and I feel strongly its a boy. In fact I know its a boy in my heart. But then what if its not? If its a girl I want the time to get over my expectations and DH doesn't understand that. I am trying to think positively that it will all work out in the end but I'd really like to know.

[kangasox]

Originally Posted by evasimone This is one of the reasons I am nervous about not finding out the gender. DH wants a surprise and I feel strongly its a boy. In fact I know its a boy in my heart. But then what if its not? If its a girl I want the time to get over my expectations and DH doesn't understand that. I am trying to think positively that it will all work out in the end but I'd really like to know.

Haven't read this whole thread, but This is exactly why I DON'T want to find out. I'm pg with our 3rd and last and have 2 girls. I feel like if I found out it was a girl now, I'd be a little sad and think about it for the next 3 months. If I find out in the delivery room I feel like I'll feel happy it's over and I have a baby and feel less disappointment than if I had nothing else to think about for the rest of my pregnancy.