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Old 07-06-2012, 07:48 PM   #11
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I agree about finding a counselor, but don't be afraid to switch if the counselor doesn't seem to get it, or isn equipped to help your dsd. Some counsellors are better than tees - or just a better/worse match. You can also tell a counselor your concerns. I email my dd's psych when sometimes. Or I ask for a few minutes alone with her. I would be as open as possible. You want someone who will be an advocate for dsd, but also be able to see past the obvious.

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Old 07-06-2012, 09:16 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by luvthefluff

you older sister was VERY difficult like this as well growing up...she had bizaare temper tantrums as a toddler (not your average temper tantrum) lied all the time as an adolensent. went thro many councelors (who she would lie to so they would think she lived in a difficult home) her early twenties she was diagnosed as bi polar and recently with boarderline personality disorder. Not saying thats what your DSD has..but could she have a dormant mental illness maybe that usually doenst come out till early adulthood? i have done tons of research on boaderline personality disorder and one symptom that really stuck out for me (in my sister) is making things up just to watch the reaction/drama unfold. people with BLPD feed on chaos and whatching it happen. my sister still to this day will come home and pick fights with various members of the family just to cause drama. or was always in the middle of rumors at shcool and spreading them to watch other people argue amongst each other. hopefully you guys get to the root of the problem...some people automatically think they are seeking something they are not receiving, abandonment issues, abuse..when sometimes its none of the above but that young teens and adults have some kind of mental illness and is super hard to diagnose early on...just my thoughts on a different approach..however not saying this could be the problem just throwing thoughts out there
She instigates things ALL the time with her friends! I didn't know if that was typical for a pre teen as I never did that
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Old 07-06-2012, 09:27 PM   #13
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Re: I am tired of the LIES!!

Originally Posted by justjacqueline View Post
She instigates things ALL the time with her friends! I didn't know if that was typical for a pre teen as I never did that
i think its pretty normal to an extent. but completely making up full stories to get attention or pitty, is not ok..."my parents suck and hate me!" normal..."my step dad comes into my room and kicks me everynight." not ok. just keep doing what your doin mamma! ur support will not go un noticed in the long run. i would consider a family you all sit in on..that way she cannot lie to the councelor about what goes on and family can be there to call her out on it. my sister had her own private councelor that she twisted into beleiving her stories and almost got cps falsely involved
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Old 08-08-2012, 12:40 PM   #14
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Re: I am tired of the LIES!!

I know what it feels like to have a stepchild who lies a LOT. It HURTS.

This one has been hiding and stealing my things and will not admit to it, even when we find the items hidden. He has stolen or hidden all of my little sentimental objects and the only valuable item I owned, a really nice crystal. My baby's birth certificate with his little footprints is gone, a breastmilk pendant I traded with a nice mama on here to make as a keepsake from breastfeeding, many of my knitting needles.... we're talking at least $300 worth of stuff..... then most recently my debit card wedged in a crack in the car when he knew I was going to be going somewhere to eat after I dropped him off and he knew I WAS STARVING (because I must have said it 5 times on the way to drop him off LOL).... I ordered my food, went to pay, and the card was GONE. So I cleaned my car the next day and there it was wedged in a little crack under the ash tray in my car. The only time he could have done it was while I wasn't looking while driving too with how the whole thing played out. So sneaky.

So definitely a different type of lies than you're experiencing but I know how frustrating it is. His mom just defends his behavior and plays it like we're nuts... He needs counseling but it will never happen.
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Old 08-08-2012, 08:24 PM   #15
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Re: I am tired of the LIES!!

I don't know why she's lying or what to do about it, but I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. In my situation, I know that being a step-parent is the worst job I've ever done and I don't even get paid. We've dealt with an insane amount of lies from my stepchild as well as from his mom. We're at the point where we have to make our best guess as to whether info. is a lie or not and we have to regularly verify stuff with the school, etc. I wish I had more to advice, but wanted to offer We luckily haven't had to deal w/ lies regarding us, but it still makes me sad that these kids have something going on where they feel the need to create so many lies. Sometimes as a step-parent, you have to learn that as much good as you do, you are only part of the equation and without being present for all of the interactions with the other family members, you have no control sometimes. I wish that pill was easier to swallow b/c I seem to still choke on it all the time.
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