Can I just have a small pity party here?

[Kristi26]

It's been a struggle today.

It seems like everyone around me is either pregnant or adopting or fostering right now. Everyone, that is, except us. DH is still nowhere near ready to consider it.

Here's my list:

1. Gwen's BM is having a boy in December
2. My friend was due yesterday with a boy and wants me to be in the delivery room with her when she has him
3. A friend from church who just adopted their first baby girl is likely adopting a set of twins due in January now
4. A very old friend announced her second pregnancy recently
5. A good friend of mine is due with her third (and currently working through adopting the second) in December
6. And the icing on the pity party cake? An old friend of mine just announced she's pregnant AGAIN even though she still has a baby at home right now. This will be her third in three years.

There are more. I know there are. Everyone is pregnant. Everyone is adopting. And I can't take it. When is it going to be my turn to adopt my baby??

Thanks for reading...I know I'm being ridiculous...

[iwiamandaiwi]

I'm sorry

[WynneBabies]

I understand. I feel bad complaining because I have four of my own. I love babies but have no desire to birth another one. I just want to be able to adopt a little girl or two since I don't have any (and always wanted to adopt since my sister joined our family through fostering/adoption) and I have no idea how many years it will take until I even get a placement I can adopt, IF I ever do. I like fostering and am content enough to do that for now, but it's been almost 1.5 months since my last left. I know some have waited way longer than that (I waited 7.5 months to get my first placement) but I hate the waiting.

[Kristi26]

Originally Posted by WynneBabies I understand. I feel bad complaining because I have four of my own. I love babies but have no desire to birth another one. I just want to be able to adopt a little girl or two since I don't have any (and always wanted to adopt since my sister joined our family through fostering/adoption) and I have no idea how many years it will take until I even get a placement I can adopt, IF I ever do. I like fostering and am content enough to do that for now, but it's been almost 1.5 months since my last left. I know some have waited way longer than that (I waited 7.5 months to get my first placement) but I hate the waiting.

Yes, exactly! I feel terrible complaining about it but I lost the baby we were supposed to have...and I miss her...and I want a new baby in the house like we were supposed to have...

[luvsviola]

Hugs mama!!!!

[Kristi26]

Thanks for the hugs, ladies!!!

[Umm_Ibraheem]

Would a heart to heart with your DH on how you feel help? Mentioning all the things you mentioned here and the losing of the baby girl? Maybe realizing you are in so much pain he'll give fostering/adopting another once over and hopefully want to do it.

[Kristi26]

Originally Posted by Umm_Ibraheem Would a heart to heart with your DH on how you feel help? Mentioning all the things you mentioned here and the losing of the baby girl? Maybe realizing you are in so much pain he'll give fostering/adopting another once over and hopefully want to do it.

He knows everything I've written here. I tell him everything. He's just not ready and I told him I wouldn't push him for another baby this time. It's just hard waiting for him to be ready. He said in a few years, when the house is in order and he's more settled into his new position at work, he'll be ready...

[iris0110]

I know it isn't the same but after my daughter died I struggled to conceive again. It took me over a year to get pregnant with my son and in that time it seemed like everyone else had moved on and had babies. It was so painful being surrounded by pregnant women and new babies. Even some of the women from my DDC who hadn't lost a child were pregnant again by the time I had my rainbow baby. I hate to complain because I am lucky to have my two boys and it was only 2 years, I know so many women have to wait so much longer than that but it was hard.

More pregnancies aren't an option for me but adoption has been on the table for 6 years. Dh is just refusing to talk about it right now. He keeps saying "later". We will get things together and talk about it later. I look at my boys and see the gap where there sister should be and it is painful. I don't know if anything ever fills that hole. I just wanted you to know I appreciated you responding to my pity party and you aren't alone.

[Kristi26]

Originally Posted by iris0110 I know it isn't the same but after my daughter died I struggled to conceive again. It took me over a year to get pregnant with my son and in that time it seemed like everyone else had moved on and had babies. It was so painful being surrounded by pregnant women and new babies. Even some of the women from my DDC who hadn't lost a child were pregnant again by the time I had my rainbow baby. I hate to complain because I am lucky to have my two boys and it was only 2 years, I know so many women have to wait so much longer than that but it was hard. More pregnancies aren't an option for me but adoption has been on the table for 6 years. Dh is just refusing to talk about it right now. He keeps saying "later". We will get things together and talk about it later. I look at my boys and see the gap where there sister should be and it is painful. I don't know if anything ever fills that hole. I just wanted you to know I appreciated you responding to my pity party and you aren't alone.

Thanks mama. I keep looking at YDS and knowing that he is a big brother without a little sister. And I know that he will likely turn 4-maybe even 5 or 6 or 7- before he has a younger sibling...and like you, I notice that gap where she is missing.

More pregnancies aren't an option for me either. Adoption is something I swore I wanted back when I was in middle school. It's something I know DH can do because he HAS with my ODS! But he keeps saying "let's just wait." I'm praying he comes around because I don't know how much longer I can stand it. Another FB friend just posted that SHE'S pregnant now...did I say that in the other thread? My heart aches...