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Old 08-20-2012, 07:06 AM   #201
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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Originally Posted by dancermommy1 View Post
MamaNae, it sounds like you are hurt and bitter and angry and that's what's driving your irritation at others who appear to have it easier but complain anyway. I'm sorry you had that situation--it's admirable that you were able to all that alone. I would've broken down.
I didn't get that from her at all. I am also tired of hearing, how in the world do you do it with 4 all the time. I just do it b/c that is what I have. Of course everyone is in a different situation, but you don't need to make people feel bad for venting about getting comments if you have severe anxiety issues. She is talking generally speaking. Generally speaking (not medically speaking), no it isn't a big deal to take 4 kids out all day long. I take my 4 with me everywhere almost all the time. We go to stores, run errands, amusement parks, water parks. Is it easy? No. Can it be difficult? Yes. But, I do it and I don't complain, but I get tired of hearing "how in the world do you do it, boy you have your hands full, have enough kids, etc...."

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Old 08-20-2012, 07:13 AM   #202
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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, and I really think that's what was going on in this thread. But people were trying to say they weren't being judgmental or prideful or whatever! Call it what it is! Just say, hey, I'm good at this, and I want a pat on the back!
Not everyone. I did notice a lot of assumptions with this. To me, it seems there were a lot more people who feel bad for having a hard time with taking 1 or 2 out and need to justify that. Which isn't necessary. Along your same lines, if you can't handle taking 1 or 2 out, then just admit it and don't add in other things as to why you can't. No biggie.
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Old 08-20-2012, 09:11 AM   #203
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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I didn't get that from her at all. I am also tired of hearing, how in the world do you do it with 4 all the time. I just do it b/c that is what I have. Of course everyone is in a different situation, but you don't need to make people feel bad for venting about getting comments if you have severe anxiety issues. She is talking generally speaking. Generally speaking (not medically speaking), no it isn't a big deal to take 4 kids out all day long. I take my 4 with me everywhere almost all the time. We go to stores, run errands, amusement parks, water parks. Is it easy? No. Can it be difficult? Yes. But, I do it and I don't complain, but I get tired of hearing "how in the world do you do it, boy you have your hands full, have enough kids, etc...."
She didn't appear to be complaining about other people directly commenting to her in the sense you are speaking of--i.e., "how do you do it all the time?" type of comments. She was commenting about other people posting to their personal facebook pages that THEY had taken all of their kids out and were proud of it or tired from it or whatever. Then, in a later post, she described in great detail how she was left to care for her kids with no help while her DH was in the hospital, and how it was difficult to do it but she did it anyway.

To me, taken in combination, those posts suggest that the reason it annoys her that other people post about their accomplishments at taking their kids out is because she does it all the time yet receives little recognition for it.

I totally get that-- Here's a good example. I cook dinner almost every single night, and rarely do I get any "props" for it from dh (other than an ocassional thanks) and I don't post my meal on facebook, etc. When DH cooks, though, he makes a HUGE deal of it, telling me what all he put in the food, how he meticulously prepared it, and wants me to go on and on about it. Sometimes I want to yell "big friggin deal, I make dinner every night! So you made dinner once this week, woo freaking hoo!" It's the same attitude. The only reason I begrudge him his "props" for making dinner is because I don't get any recognition for making dinner every single night of every single week. It's the feeling of being taken for granted. I really don't mind him boasting about making dinner and I don't mind telling him it was good-----if he's doing the same for me, hahaha. But, I'm not as good at asking for validation as he is.

But, it would be rude for me to actually SAY to him "Big deal, so you made dinner. Who cares?" Just like it's pretty rude to say to moms who think it's a big deal to take 4 kids out "BFD, you took 4 kids to the grocery store. Who cares?"

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Old 08-20-2012, 10:44 AM   #204
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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She didn't appear to be complaining about other people directly commenting to her in the sense you are speaking of--i.e., "how do you do it all the time?" type of comments. She was commenting about other people posting to their personal facebook pages that THEY had taken all of their kids out and were proud of it or tired from it or whatever. Then, in a later post, she described in great detail how she was left to care for her kids with no help while her DH was in the hospital, and how it was difficult to do it but she did it anyway.

To me, taken in combination, those posts suggest that the reason it annoys her that other people post about their accomplishments at taking their kids out is because she does it all the time yet receives little recognition for it.

I totally get that-- Here's a good example. I cook dinner almost every single night, and rarely do I get any "props" for it from dh (other than an ocassional thanks) and I don't post my meal on facebook, etc. When DH cooks, though, he makes a HUGE deal of it, telling me what all he put in the food, how he meticulously prepared it, and wants me to go on and on about it. Sometimes I want to yell "big friggin deal, I make dinner every night! So you made dinner once this week, woo freaking hoo!" It's the same attitude. The only reason I begrudge him his "props" for making dinner is because I don't get any recognition for making dinner every single night of every single week. It's the feeling of being taken for granted. I really don't mind him boasting about making dinner and I don't mind telling him it was good-----if he's doing the same for me, hahaha. But, I'm not as good at asking for validation as he is.

But, it would be rude for me to actually SAY to him "Big deal, so you made dinner. Who cares?" Just like it's pretty rude to say to moms who think it's a big deal to take 4 kids out "BFD, you took 4 kids to the grocery store. Who cares?"

KWIM?
Ha! Yeah, that is definitely a guy thing. My DH lost his job a month ago, so he has been getting dinners ready sometimes (I still do it several days a week though). I do the grocery shopping, I make the meal plan, I make sure everything is defrosted and ready to go, and I make sure that it is not a difficult meal. But he still is under the impression that he is a super hero because he heated it up. So annoying. Anyway, that is completely off topic.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:26 AM   #205
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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Not everyone. I did notice a lot of assumptions with this. To me, it seems there were a lot more people who feel bad for having a hard time with taking 1 or 2 out and need to justify that. Which isn't necessary. Along your same lines, if you can't handle taking 1 or 2 out, then just admit it and don't add in other things as to why you can't. No biggie.
See here where I acknowledged that not everyone was being judgmental?:

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I don't think you were being judgmental at all in your replies, or looking for pats on the back, and I don't think most people who replied to this thread were, either. But there were some replies here that were judgmental in tone and then some posters were arguing that no one was being judgmental... That's all I was talking about.
I can't speak for anyone else, but I readily admit that I have a hard time with taking my two out and about. And I do justify that when I am being attacked/judged for it. Absolutely people will offer their justifications when they are being attacked (or feel they are being attacked), as was the case of the phrasing and tone of some of the replies in this thread. How can you expect people not to justify their actions when they are being judged for them?
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:29 AM   #206
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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Originally Posted by dancermommy1 View Post
She didn't appear to be complaining about other people directly commenting to her in the sense you are speaking of--i.e., "how do you do it all the time?" type of comments. She was commenting about other people posting to their personal facebook pages that THEY had taken all of their kids out and were proud of it or tired from it or whatever. Then, in a later post, she described in great detail how she was left to care for her kids with no help while her DH was in the hospital, and how it was difficult to do it but she did it anyway.

To me, taken in combination, those posts suggest that the reason it annoys her that other people post about their accomplishments at taking their kids out is because she does it all the time yet receives little recognition for it.

I totally get that-- Here's a good example. I cook dinner almost every single night, and rarely do I get any "props" for it from dh (other than an ocassional thanks) and I don't post my meal on facebook, etc. When DH cooks, though, he makes a HUGE deal of it, telling me what all he put in the food, how he meticulously prepared it, and wants me to go on and on about it. Sometimes I want to yell "big friggin deal, I make dinner every night! So you made dinner once this week, woo freaking hoo!" It's the same attitude. The only reason I begrudge him his "props" for making dinner is because I don't get any recognition for making dinner every single night of every single week. It's the feeling of being taken for granted. I really don't mind him boasting about making dinner and I don't mind telling him it was good-----if he's doing the same for me, hahaha. But, I'm not as good at asking for validation as he is.

But, it would be rude for me to actually SAY to him "Big deal, so you made dinner. Who cares?" Just like it's pretty rude to say to moms who think it's a big deal to take 4 kids out "BFD, you took 4 kids to the grocery store. Who cares?"

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Old 08-20-2012, 07:37 PM   #207
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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Originally Posted by dancermommy1 View Post
She didn't appear to be complaining about other people directly commenting to her in the sense you are speaking of--i.e., "how do you do it all the time?" type of comments. She was commenting about other people posting to their personal facebook pages that THEY had taken all of their kids out and were proud of it or tired from it or whatever. Then, in a later post, she described in great detail how she was left to care for her kids with no help while her DH was in the hospital, and how it was difficult to do it but she did it anyway.

To me, taken in combination, those posts suggest that the reason it annoys her that other people post about their accomplishments at taking their kids out is because she does it all the time yet receives little recognition for it.

I totally get that-- Here's a good example. I cook dinner almost every single night, and rarely do I get any "props" for it from dh (other than an ocassional thanks) and I don't post my meal on facebook, etc. When DH cooks, though, he makes a HUGE deal of it, telling me what all he put in the food, how he meticulously prepared it, and wants me to go on and on about it. Sometimes I want to yell "big friggin deal, I make dinner every night! So you made dinner once this week, woo freaking hoo!" It's the same attitude. The only reason I begrudge him his "props" for making dinner is because I don't get any recognition for making dinner every single night of every single week. It's the feeling of being taken for granted. I really don't mind him boasting about making dinner and I don't mind telling him it was good-----if he's doing the same for me, hahaha. But, I'm not as good at asking for validation as he is.

But, it would be rude for me to actually SAY to him "Big deal, so you made dinner. Who cares?" Just like it's pretty rude to say to moms who think it's a big deal to take 4 kids out "BFD, you took 4 kids to the grocery store. Who cares?"

KWIM?
OMG. That is totally a guy thing. My dad is probably the worst about it. It drives my poor mom crazy!!!!

See I probably would say that to him though, lol. That's the thing though, I don't mind taking all the kids to the grocery store, it is what I do......sure it would be easier with less, but then again that is pretty obvious. I just get tired of the "how the heck do you do it"; "you have your hands full" type of comments.
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Old 08-20-2012, 08:07 PM   #208
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

Well, being that I have one with Aspergers/anxiety/behavoiral problems and another that just feels the need to do what his sister is doing, I tend to go shopping with another adult or just when it's the baby and one other.

I avoid certian places by myself and all 3 kids, mostly because someone is liable to be throwing a monster fit, and I just don't want to deal with it if I can't drag them out of the store to the car easily. lol

I don't plan doctor appts and school IEP meetings/teacher stuff when I would have to take all the kids. I wouldn't be able to focus on what the teacher/doctor/etc was saying if I had to keep correcting someone, lol

And I sure do feel pretty damn proud of myself when I go to the store with all 3 kids and we made it home without me having to ground anyone from something they love because of thier behavior. lol I don't normally post about it on FB though. lol

It must be nice to be able to go to the store and not give it a second thought.
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