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Old 08-21-2012, 02:01 PM   #21
AcrossTheUniverse's Avatar
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Re: custody

I am not a part of your due date group, but I saw this thread and wanted to give you some advice based on my experiences helping my sister who also had a baby with a guy who wanted nothing to do with her or the baby (and they also weren't married).

If you want him to take responsibility for the child and pay child support. You will definitely have to put him on the birth certificate. Since you are not married, in order to put him on the birth certificate, one of two things would need to happen. 1. He would willingly sign off a declaration of paternity stating that he is the father. It sounds as though he may not be willing to do this. And if not you'd have to go through the second route which is 2. After the baby is born, file with family court for a DNA paternity test. Once the test is done and he matches as baby's father, they will put him on the birth certificate and then you can file a motion for custody, visitation, and child support.

Your state's court will work with his state's court for the paternity test. All other matters (custody, visitation, etc...) will be taken care of by your state's court and he would have to travel there if he want to represent his side. And when it comes to child support, the child support enforcement agency in your state will work with the child support enforcement agency in his state to collect whatever amount you are awarded every month. They can take it directly from his paychecks and send it to you if that is what ends up having to happen.

I would definitely suggest finding a free or low-cost law center in your area. A lot of time the courts themselves have "Family Law Centers" in which you can get legal aide. If you go now and tell them the situation, they can tell you what you need to do as soon as the baby is born. You can pickup the forms and have them ready to go so you can fill them out as soon as possible after the baby is born, as well.

Hope that helps!
Heather, wife to James & mommy to:
Jaden (8.06), Mara (8.07), Fenn (5.09),
Elias (7.10), & Levi (11.11) 80lbs lost!
*i* Loved and Lost (6/12), (9/12), & (2/13) *i*

Last edited by AcrossTheUniverse; 08-21-2012 at 02:04 PM.
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