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|08-23-2012, 11:32 PM||#1|
I know I have 2 more months yet, but I am DONE!
This is baby #4 for me. This is my 3rd pregnancy in 4 years. Like each of the others, this pregnancy is not complicated. I am pretty much as low risk as they come, I don't deal with tons of puking or even minor complications.
Which all serves to make me feel SO guilty when I whine and complain.
BUT, I am SO SO SO over this. My back hurts. All the time. There is no comfortable position. I do deal with a touch of sciatica, but nothing like I know it could be. But I am tired of my back hurting.
My hips hurt. They have for months now. It's as if the moment two lines showed up on the test, they started splitting.
I officially have surpassed my highest weight ever. And for me, the actual number on the scale makes no difference. It is NOT the weight itself, it's that I can FEEL all the heaviness. I feel the weight in my knees and in my legs and feet. And not just the heavy, the big too. The maternity clothes I have been wearing are getting too small. And what sucks the most about this is, I am still considered small. My total weight gain is low, I do not look as far along as I am, and from behind you can't even tell I am pregnant. I started this larger than I am used to, due to the other pregnancies so close together, and I am fine with that, but since I was so small before I got pregnant 4 years ago, EVERYONE insists on telling me how small I am. Reletively speaking, maybe. But right now at this moment, I am over 50lbs more than I weighed 5 yrs ago before I started popping out kids. Yes, even now lots of it is pregnancy weight, but it's SO uncomfortable and I don't look or feel like me.
I am SO freaking tired ALL the time. My house is a disaster because I don't have the energy to spend doing ALL the cleaning and I don't have the energy to continually nag DH to do it or help. He WILL do it if I ask, I just don't even have the energy to ask. I don't have the energy to be constantly picking up the blankets that DD2 pulls off the back of the couch to create forts with, or carrying the rocking horse back to its spot when they are done, because the two little ones can't get it back into it's "parking spot." And when he gets home, hes too freaking tired to be thoughtful enough to just see the mess that needs to be cleaned.
And even aside from the cleaning, I just want to lump around all day. There are 2 yrs between DD2 and DD3 and there will be 2 yrs between DD3 and this baby boy. I feel like just as I started to get FULLY recovered and able to settle in a routine and get things on track, I got pregnant again and it just threw everything off all over again.
Then, to top everything off...The entire world just irks me off. I am so b****y and nasty and irritable and annoyed with every single blade of grass and cloud in the sky. And I hate the the very little bit of energy that I do have is so often spent being p****d off.
Oh, and, the freaking contractions. I have been having contractions every day since before halfway through. That's common for my pregnancies and there's nothing to worry about...they aren't DOING anything, they aren't regular and they are very random. But they are VERY intense, they make me stop and breath through them. They hurt. They scare me for real labor..if these nothing contractions hurt so bad, how awful are real ones going to be? Espeically since I tend to have such long labors anyway.
And I am tired of peeing every 10 minutes too. How on earth can I stay hydrated if I am feeling like I am peeing it out as I am drinking it in?
I absolutely am excited to have another child. I would just really really like to skip this whole pregnancy and labor and delivery and even newborn stage. I am just so freaking over the whole thing.