Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-27-2012, 03:25 PM   #141
MyKylie's Avatar
MyKylie
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Washington State
Posts: 3,312
My Mood:
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

At times yes I did feel badly. I felt like I should sacrifice more to give my child the best. At other times I felt relieved and thankful I had gone the formula route. When my DS had severe constipation, I cried because I knew if he was BF it never would have happened. And I felt I twinge of guilt every time the nurse at the pediatrician's office asked me, "breast or formula?"

Most people will never understand why I BF my older 2 kids for over a year. Why go from BFing to FFing? I worked really hard to BF my first, and did it automatically for my 2nd. But I also had a great deal of resentment and other emotions I don't feel comfortable talking about. I literally cringed every time they latched on. After my son was born, we started rooting after 20 minutes and the nurse asked me if I wanted to try and nurse. I remember feeling like someone had just put a brick on my chest, it was the worst sinking feeling, and I immediately burst into tears. I think everyone assumed it was out of joy, but it was not. I didn't want to do it. I did it anyway.

So when DS2 came along, I knew in my heart that I couldn't go through it again. I nursed him for about 2 weeks. I started formula the first day in the hospital. He got supplemented with BM for a bout 3 or 4 weeks, until all my milk dried out.

He is now 18 months old and doing just great. The whole BM vs. FF days are gone and over and we survived!

Advertisement

__________________
Christina

K R M
MyKylie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2012, 07:38 AM   #142
Computermama
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 13,800
My Mood:
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NebraskaGirl82 View Post
I nursed DD1 for 2 weeks. My nipples were cracked and bleeding, I had searing pain everytime she latched. I was literally hallucinating because I had no sleep, she wasn't sleeping either. No one I knew had or was BF, I had literally zero support. My mom kept telling me to give her formula so I did, I needed SOME relief.

I also had a c section and really don't think that had anything to do with enough milk on my end, although the pain is something else to deal with for sure.

Well, I educated myself after the fact and she probably had a bad latch. I went on to nurse DD2 and DD3 for a full year each, with no formula. If you have another and feel compelled, then you can BF. If your supply is low (wondering how you knew it was low in this case?), you can get help.

If not...well enjoy having others help with feedings! One upside to formula is someone else can help with night feedings, DH was great with DD1 but I was on my own with the other 2. Also I think he bonded better with DD1 right away, took time with the other two because they were literally attached to me for quite some time.

ETA: I think I feel most guilty because DD1 has asthma and I wonder if BF could have prevented it. Although with family history on both sides, likely not.
I could have written this, other than I made it 3 weeks and had thrush on top, and my DD2 is only 3 months but going strong EBF. Right down to the asthma, but I had it as a child too, so I don't really think that BFing would have saved her. The only thing I miss about FF is that DH could help more with DD1 than he can with DD2 now.

I really would encourage moms who might have not had a good BFing relationship with one child to try again with a second or subsequent child. I know so many people IRL now who've had miserable experiences BFing one child only to have success with other children. Just because it didn't work out once doesn't mean it won't the second time. Personally having done it both ways I prefer BF, but that doesn't mean that I think I was wrong to FF DD1 - it was the right decision in that place in time, and I did the important thing - I made the decision that was right for us. Breast is only best if it's what's working for everyone's health and sanity.
Computermama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2012, 11:07 PM   #143
FilipinaMama's Avatar
FilipinaMama
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 530
My Mood:
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

Yes! With dd1 I worked so hard to nurse. She was tongue tied and I didn't know it till I saw an lc because my nipples were cracked and bleeding. I fed every two hours and pumped. I was on Reglan, fenugreek, more milk plus, and goat's rue. It was taking a toll on my body and I could only pump less than two ounces. You would think, I would be producing more, but once I stopped Reglan I was dry!


I am trying to nurse ds1 and it has been a month. I had to supplement because he wasn't
gaining weight. I took fenugreek, blessed thistle, and liquid form of different herbs and only pumping one ounce! I am going back to work in two weeks and feel a little guilty, but need to come to a point about what is best for me and our family.
__________________
Kim, follower of Christ and Single Mama to DD 9/2007 & DS 7/2012
FilipinaMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2012, 06:14 PM   #144
crashgrl1221
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 12
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I had to supplement starting at 2 weeks and could never stop as I never produced enough milk. I was heartbroken but visited 3 lactation consultants, tried pumping after every feeding, and nothing worked. Finally I just had to accept that we would both be much happier by using formula. Since I got over that guilt about stopping at 5 weeks, I have never looked back! I tried to tell myself there will be lots of important decisions in my daughter's life and this is just one of them and she will be fine either way!
crashgrl1221 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2012, 12:56 PM   #145
Kshende
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: michigan
Posts: 53
The nurses started supplementing in the hospital. DS was in the NICU and I wasn't allowed I go see him for the 5 days we were there. I had a high fever and they won't let you around any of the babies in there. He was taken right away, so we didn't get to bond.
I pumped, but I couldn't get more than an ounce at a time (combined). When we were released, he wouldn't latch right and we went to two LC.
I exclusively pumped, but still wasn't making enough. We continued this for about two months, and he was always getting sick. Turned out he needed to be on a special formula, so we had to stop!
I was proud I made it that far. Even if it was a small amount of time, I know I tried!
Kshende is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2012, 04:22 PM   #146
pretty girl
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 32
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

yes. I supplemented in the hospital because I was frustrated that no one would help me without touching me. I pumped and supplemented for 3 weeks before I quit
pretty girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 08:31 AM   #147
mollywol
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I felt guilty but It just wasn't working! People do judge, so sometimes I say "unfortunately not" when they ask if I breastfeed. No one prys further! Don't feel guilty!
mollywol is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 08:35 AM   #148
mollywol
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

You did the best you could! My story is similar. The lactation consultants really made me stressed out.... Like formula was never an option. They wanted me to bf for 30 minutes, supplement with expressed milk (which took 30 min) and then pump for 30 min for the first feeding, and then pump and feed from the bottle the next... And oh by the way if the baby hasnt eaten be sure to pump no less than every two hours to get your supply up. Who can do this? I never slept. Formula has made me a better mother, truly.
mollywol is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2012, 08:35 AM   #149
mollywol
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

Quote:
Originally Posted by crashgrl1221 View Post
I had to supplement starting at 2 weeks and could never stop as I never produced enough milk. I was heartbroken but visited 3 lactation consultants, tried pumping after every feeding, and nothing worked. Finally I just had to accept that we would both be much happier by using formula. Since I got over that guilt about stopping at 5 weeks, I have never looked back! I tried to tell myself there will be lots of important decisions in my daughter's life and this is just one of them and she will be fine either way!


You did the best you could! My story is similar. The lactation consultants really made me stressed out.... Like formula was never an option. They wanted me to bf for 30 minutes, supplement with expressed milk (which took 30 min) and then pump for 30 min for the first feeding, and then pump and feed from the bottle the next... And oh by the way if the baby hasnt eaten be sure to pump no less than every two hours to get your supply up. Who can do this? I never slept. Formula has made me a better mother, truly.
mollywol is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.