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Old 08-29-2012, 08:30 PM   #21
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Re: Developmental Delays in someone else's child? Need advice.

It's a tough situation to be in. I babysat a little girl for awhile that was really lacking in developmental milestones and all the doctor seemed to care about was how much she was eating. (she was a tiny little girl, still is, about 20lbs at 2 years old) so I was basically told to feed her all day long and who cares if she can't sit up unassisted at 10m old, because it's more important that we feed her. Ugh.

I worried about her.

I quit watching her at about 15 months old, but by then she was walking/sitting.. but wouldn't talk. (FYI, due to the fact my 3 year old was being abusive to her after having Levi, not any developmental reasons. lol)

I can't tell you the amount of times I considered bringing up the fact that this kid needed something more than food, but how do you do it without insulting someone, ESPECIALLY someone that signs your paycheck. lol Most parents are going to take it as some kind of insult, an attack, my kid isn't normal, not good enough, something wrong with them, etc.. I have a 3.5 year old with a Speech delay and a 8 year old with Severe Anxiety and Aspergers, I know, I felt that way myself.. but Hopefully you have planted a seed, A seed that she most likely already had, but hopefully it will grow just enough to make her get him into someone to be checked out.. and maybe everything will come back fine and ease your fears, but it sounds like there's a problem, and I hope the mom sucks it up and is able to find the strength to get her kid the help he needs. It's hard to hear, but it needed to be said. So kudos to you.

I'd probably back off and hope for the best, I mean really, it's all you can do. Pushing the fact might just make her look elsewhere for care, unfortunately.


Jennifer; Mom to:
Miranda Isabel(ASD/Anxiety/ODD/SPD) (10) Jacob David(Anxiety/SPD)(6)
& Levi Alexander(ASD/Anxiety/SPD) (3)

Last edited by jenn5388; 08-29-2012 at 08:31 PM.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:14 AM   #22
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Re: Developmental Delays in someone else's child? Need advice.

I agree with a pp who mentioned using the physical illness as a way to get him to a doctor. I'd just tell the mom that in order to have the child back in your home, state legislation requires you have some sort of documentation that the child has seen a pediatrician for the ringworm and coughing (even if that's a little white lie). You might mention, at the same time, that the shaking and drooling concerns you a bit and that she might want to mention it to the doctor when she has him looked at for his illnesses.

A pediatrician *should* notice the delays. If they aren't taking him to well visits then no one has anything to go on. That's what well visits are for. Not saying everyone has to do them, or you're a horrible person if you don't or anything, but it is what they are intended for.
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Old 08-30-2012, 07:55 PM   #23
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Re: Developmental Delays in someone else's child? Need advice.

I just wanted to say that sometimes when something is difficult or uncomfortable to hear, it might take several times of mentioning it before the person can really "hear" you IYKWIM. That is not to say mention it every time or be a pain about it, but rather gently bringing it up more than once can be hepful. HTH!
Kimberly, wife to Martin , Catholic, Waldorf, RIE inspired mama to Benjamin David(2-14-11) and Mariah Celeste(3/28/13) Trying everyday to love this world in the right way.
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