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|09-01-2012, 12:54 PM||#1|
Trying to Make Peace with 1st C-section in 4 Days :(
I have 2 beautiful kids. One born at home, by choice, when I was 15. I have been pro-natural birth since I watched my Mom give birth to my sister, breech, at home, when she was 41. DD was born at a hospital's "birthing center" 4 years ago. I had no worries with this pregnancy and assumed it would be short and smooth like the others.
The last 2 months I have felt "kicks" straight into my crotch and behind. I knew they were kicks. But it never even dawned on me that this was a WARNING that she was breech! My clinic midwives never noticed or checked position...until 3 days ago. Suddenly, panic! Transfer to doctor! Scheduled c-section!
Four days ago I was whining that I would prefer a homebirth, that I have to push her out on my back and that I need to write my plan of what the hospital is NOT allowed to do to my daughter.
In the last three days I have tried to find a doctor who will deliver breech (insanely difficult...too much liability is all we hear...), spinning techniques, acupuncture, moxibusion, prayer and as much positive energy as I can muster.
So now I am trying to come to grips with my first surgery ever, disappointment at my midwives and myself, fear over inability to nurse, healing time, the fear that the baby NEEDS to be c-section (and maybe that is why she will not flip...) and just this overwhelming feeling of loss. My husband is trying his best to console me, which is hard since I am usually the rock in the household.
I must say, many of the posts in this forum are not helping calm my nerves either! Any suggestions to those who have been through it, after natural birth(s)?
Esther - Wife to Super SAHD Jason
WOHM to Terrence William (18), Lily Rayne (4) &
Violet Skye (Breech C/S 9/17)
ISO: Size 1 Mini Nappis, Capris, Simplex, and Thirsties