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Old 09-11-2012, 02:20 PM   #11
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Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House

I don't really understand her unwillingness to break up the collection. It would be one thing if there was a monetary value, but it sounds like they aren't really worth any money. I certainly think you would be fine to take what you can use and give back the rest. But it sounds like she is not being reasonable about this. Have you talked to your niece about it? Does she care one way or the other what happens to them?

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Old 09-11-2012, 02:50 PM   #12
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Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House

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I really don't want to part with all of it just so it'll sit at their house, so do you think it's reasonable to tell her that I'll take what I want (give it back when DD is done with it) and she can have the remaining boxes now to do as she pleases?
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:47 PM   #13
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Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House

Oh dear. Sis needs a reality check, LOL. "Breaking up the collection" only applies if she had a new in boxes or EEC full set of something. If it were just her and her neice's stuff, I'd just give the whole thing back and refuse future "gifts" in the future that come with conditions. I have always believed a gift is a gift, and the recipient can do whatever they want with it. Now if she said they were a loan, that would be a different thing, you would have agreed to certain terms to borrow the stuff.

But it sounds like this was a collection that was hers and yours, so it's a little different. But to take the minimalist hardline stance, I say what you suggested, or just returning it all to her, would be ideal. DO NOT be guilted into storing someone else's clutter. Take a stand now, or you will have a houseful of this stuff later. Your LO is too little to know the difference now, and in theory the neice will mature into an adult and laugh at her attachment later. If you try to unscrambled this egg when your LO is old enough to know the difference, it is way more complicated.
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:42 AM   #14
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Re: Other People's Clutter at Your House

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Originally Posted by MamaJules View Post
I don't really understand her unwillingness to break up the collection. It would be one thing if there was a monetary value, but it sounds like they aren't really worth any money. I certainly think you would be fine to take what you can use and give back the rest. But it sounds like she is not being reasonable about this. Have you talked to your niece about it? Does she care one way or the other what happens to them?
The breaking up of the collection thing is that they don't want to get rid of ANY of it, which is silly when you're talking about the damaged, duplicate and missing pieces items. My niece is even harder to talk to than my sister. There's some sort of hoarder mentality buried w/in a lot of my family members. My sister said my niece was upset (sad not angry) when I originally mentioned going through the Barbies b/c they're like her childhood. Again, way too much attachment to toys vs relationships and experiences.

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Yes!
Thank you. Right now, it seems like the only option that I'll be at peace w/. Now I just need to gently deliver the news to my sis once I've finished deciding on what to keep.

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Originally Posted by cherylchoo View Post
Oh dear. Sis needs a reality check, LOL. "Breaking up the collection" only applies if she had a new in boxes or EEC full set of something. If it were just her and her neice's stuff, I'd just give the whole thing back and refuse future "gifts" in the future that come with conditions. I have always believed a gift is a gift, and the recipient can do whatever they want with it. Now if she said they were a loan, that would be a different thing, you would have agreed to certain terms to borrow the stuff.

But it sounds like this was a collection that was hers and yours, so it's a little different. But to take the minimalist hardline stance, I say what you suggested, or just returning it all to her, would be ideal. DO NOT be guilted into storing someone else's clutter. Take a stand now, or you will have a houseful of this stuff later. Your LO is too little to know the difference now, and in theory the neice will mature into an adult and laugh at her attachment later. If you try to unscrambled this egg when your LO is old enough to know the difference, it is way more complicated.
It's funny that you mentioned new in boxes b/c I have maybe 4 or 5 HUGE boxes of boxed Barbies. My mom was into the whole collectable Barbies thing and gave them to me as gifts for years after I was done playing with Barbies even though I totally would have rather had things I wanted. There were so many produced and kept in boxes that they have barely any value. I think I'm going to pick out 4 dolls and keep them properly packed away for now. I'm not going to tell my mom as they were gifts for me anyway, but I think I'm going to try to find a children's ward or hospital that might want them. I'd like to bring my daughter with me to hand out the dolls if they'll let me and if these kids would actually want 90's looking dolls. I could really use money from selling them, but if selling them won't be a financial gain, then I'll donate them. I know that's selfish, but money's really tight for my family right now.

BTW, the idea of my niece maturing out of this attachment is a little unlikely given how my sister acts, but I'll keep hoping that she outgrows this. You're last line made me laugh! I love the line 'unscramble this egg.'

Thank you all for all of your help. I'm really needy in this area and have barely anyone that I can talk to about this stuff so you all helped me a lot.
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