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Old 09-13-2012, 02:32 PM   #21
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

Child molestation is more likely to happen by a family member or close family friend then it is by a stranger or a teacher of some sort. Also, studies show women are just as likely to molest children then men. You need to talk to your child, not because she has a male PT, but because all children regardless of gender and who they see need to know good vs. bad touch and to continue to have that talk and open communication with their parents. You also need to talk about secrets and how it's not ok to have secrets between mommy/daddy and you (child).

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I'm honestly surprised by all the responses about the PT never being allowed alone with the child. I work in a school and our school personnel are often alone with students. It may be the speech therapist, the social worker, PT, OT, a teacher after school or at lunch for a detention, the custodian who is in the hall alone with the child when a lock needs to be cut off a locker b/c the student forgot his or her combination, the principal, the librarian if you child goes to check out a book and no one else is there. I think it's unrealistic to think that your child will never be alone with someone at school.

I know you said it's more likely that a male be a predator than a female but it's also more likely that someone you know personally be a predator than a school professional. The best thing you can do to help protect your child is to talk about good touch bad touch and what to do if they ever feel uncomfortable. It's also important to have the conversation often. If you are uncomfortable with your child being serviced at school maybe you could look into private services that would be provided in your home.
Exactly

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Old 09-13-2012, 02:50 PM   #22
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

I don't know about your schools but when I was in school being alone with a teacher would have required effort. The principal had his secretary in the outer office doors open. Teachers always had several students present. The one time I did try to take time after class to talk with one of my teachers there were several other students present as well. Alone time simply didn't happen. Detention was also with others present. Not getting recess meant sitting on the steps while the other children played. The nurses station was a table and narrow bed in the hall by the principle's office. It was marginally screened with a privacy divider.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:06 PM   #23
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

I appreciated this article: http://www.evolutionaryparenting.com...monstrous-act/

I hadn't considered this perspective before.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:41 PM   #24
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

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That sounds good. But in a time where we barely have enough money to keep paras to keep the special education ratios legal, there are not extra adults just laying around. Our district has fired the librarians, most of the secretaries, most of the paras, and is bare bones. No field trips, no new books for the library, no new textbooks, nothing! There is not someone to just sit with the PT all day.

We have many service providers in our building--OT, PT, ST, psychologist, and 2 behvioral therapists who are outsourced and paid for by Medicaid/private insurance. There is no way that we could supervise all of them.

The school district hired a professional. He is treated the same as any other employee by the district. It is unreasonable to expect he be supervised by another adult. If you are uncomfortable with it, request that you be present during all therapy. You are permitted to come to the school and supervise any time you wish.

Or, get a script from your doctor and go to private pay therapy. DS does PT at school, but also sees a private therapist once a week. Medicaid pays for it.
That is the truth! Our school was scrambling today when a teacher left because of a sick child and I was pulled from doing Discovery testing to teach the class.

OP! It IS a scary though to think that our little ones would ever be hurt like that. I agree about having the talk and periodically reminding her and saying never be scared to tell. That said, I do agree too that is much much less likely to happen in that setting than a family friend/relative. I was molested as a kindergartener by a family friend who was babysitting. Never ever once at school in all my years did I ever have a teacher even act inappropriately in anyway with me in their presence or towards me.

Our school's OT is 'alone', but he pulls 2 kiddos at a time and he does it in teacher mail/copier/lounge so people are always in and out.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:49 PM   #25
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

My son is alone at school and at therapies with his therapists. There are things he can't do with distraction. This is getting much better but ages 3-5 was a lot of 1:1. I can't have the talk with him due his disabilities. I'm much more worried about physical abuse with him but molestation has crossed my mind too, especially since he's already a little sexual at 6.5 years old.

I did have the talk with my older son since he was 5, we have had it many times. Boys are goofier and so we have talks about no showing pee pees to anyone, even friends.

I would meet the PT and follow your gut. If you don't trust him then pull her out of PT or request that it be at times that you can be present.
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:32 PM   #26
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

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My son is alone at school and at therapies with his therapists. There are things he can't do with distraction. This is getting much better but ages 3-5 was a lot of 1:1. I can't have the talk with him due his disabilities. I'm much more worried about physical abuse with him but molestation has crossed my mind too, especially since he's already a little sexual at 6.5 years old.

I did have the talk with my older son since he was 5, we have had it many times. Boys are goofier and so we have talks about no showing pee pees to anyone, even friends.

I would meet the PT and follow your gut. If you don't trust him then pull her out of PT or request that it be at times that you can be present.
Thats the thing! Special needs kiddos are so much more likely to be abused.

thanks everyone for your perspectives. it is probably an overdue conversation but i really never thought she was at risk, outside of occasional alone time with therapists she is only ever alone with me, my husband, and my parents.

this is what i did...first i asked her what the difference between a good touch and a bad touch, then told her that no one should be touching her on the areas her swim suit covers. then to make sure she understood i asked her what areas are covered by a swim suit. she said all of the private areas but also arms because she has had several rash guard 2 piece suits. see, confusing right? i told her that no one should ever tell her to keep a secret from me and that she can tell me anything. if someone is touching her in a bad way she should tell them no as loud as she can and tell me.

terra i'm so sorry you were hurt. its so sad that this happens at all. i guess i wanted to keep dd ignorant of the bad things out there but i know that can do more harm than good.

to the pp whos dh is a therapist...i know this is unfair to him, and this line of thinking could cause someone to have a false sense of security that a woman couldn't hurt a child. i know its not impossible for a woman to abuse a child but i really did think that men are more likely to be sexually abusive. in any case, this poor man is probably a great therapist and i have nothing to worry about, but this conversation needed to happen and i guess this is what i needed to kick my butt into talking about it.
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Old 09-14-2012, 07:08 AM   #27
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

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Thats the thing! Special needs kiddos are so much more likely to be abused.

thanks everyone for your perspectives. it is probably an overdue conversation but i really never thought she was at risk, outside of occasional alone time with therapists she is only ever alone with me, my husband, and my parents.

this is what i did...first i asked her what the difference between a good touch and a bad touch, then told her that no one should be touching her on the areas her swim suit covers. then to make sure she understood i asked her what areas are covered by a swim suit. she said all of the private areas but also arms because she has had several rash guard 2 piece suits. see, confusing right? i told her that no one should ever tell her to keep a secret from me and that she can tell me anything. if someone is touching her in a bad way she should tell them no as loud as she can and tell me.

terra i'm so sorry you were hurt. its so sad that this happens at all. i guess i wanted to keep dd ignorant of the bad things out there but i know that can do more harm than good.

to the pp whos dh is a therapist...i know this is unfair to him, and this line of thinking could cause someone to have a false sense of security that a woman couldn't hurt a child. i know its not impossible for a woman to abuse a child but i really did think that men are more likely to be sexually abusive. in any case, this poor man is probably a great therapist and i have nothing to worry about, but this conversation needed to happen and i guess this is what i needed to kick my butt into talking about it.
As I said in my post, I'm not at all offended and I do get it. I would be worried too. No need to explain. Because I have this in my past, I have researched it a lot. It's been a while since I looked at the stats, but men are MUCH more likely to abuse than women when it comes to young children. I've seen stats in the mid-high 90% in the past, but it's been a while since I looked. I have irrational fears connected to this topic, but mine are much more concerned with family members or close friends and even children, all of whom are much more likely do something than someone at school is. But, anytime my children have the possibility of being alone with a man (rarely), no matter who, I think about it. It makes me sad, but it is what it is.
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Old 09-14-2012, 10:38 AM   #28
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

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As I said in my post, I'm not at all offended and I do get it. I would be worried too. No need to explain. Because I have this in my past, I have researched it a lot. It's been a while since I looked at the stats, but men are MUCH more likely to abuse than women when it comes to young children. I've seen stats in the mid-high 90% in the past, but it's been a while since I looked. I have irrational fears connected to this topic, but mine are much more concerned with family members or close friends and even children, all of whom are much more likely do something than someone at school is. But, anytime my children have the possibility of being alone with a man (rarely), no matter who, I think about it. It makes me sad, but it is what it is.


I understand completely where you are coming from. I have been there unfortunately and am the same way. I don't think your fears are irrational. The rate of abuse is mind boggling. I teach my daughter and have some very good books to help. The best one right now is: Those Are MY Private Parts, got it on amazon. I also know that once the horse is out of the barn, there's no going back. You are so correct to mention other children. An important thing to remember is the balance of power. A 7 year old would have a very hard time not being manipulated by an 11 year old for example. Those 2 are not ages to be playmates without being closely supervised. Also you are correct in that men and boys are much more likely to offend. The pp who said otherwise is wrong. In fact boys are much more likely to experiment sexually with each other than girls.
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Old 09-14-2012, 11:11 AM   #29
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

Threads like this always make me sick to my stomach when I think about my son and that someday when he's grown people will automatically look at him and think "potential child molestor" and not want their children to ever be alone with him. What a sick society we live in when men are automatically villainized just because they are male.

OP, this isn't a bash on you or anything. I just think it's sad that society in general has come to the point where people feel automatic distrust toward men.
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Old 09-14-2012, 11:40 AM   #30
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Re: how do you protect your kids from molestation?

I bought two books to discuss the topic with my kids

who has what

and I said no

DS asks me to read these books all the time. It's been helpful to keep the conversation open.
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