Advice needed- MIL

[danner]

Well, you made a family announcement that she didn't receive well, who knows why. She obviously needed additional time to warm up to the idea. Now that she has, leave it be. Confronting her about it will accomplish... what?

I'm not saying that your unhappiness with her is unfounded, but you know her by now and I'm assuming that nothing but more unhappiness will be the result of putting her back against the wall about it.

[z2akids]

Originally Posted by danner Well, you made a family announcement that she didn't receive well, who knows why. She obviously needed additional time to warm up to the idea. Now that she has, leave it be. Confronting her about it will accomplish... what?

I agree with the above.

I burst into tears - scared, worried, OMG tears when I got that little blue line with our third (and only unplanned) pregnancy. I would be upset if I thought my DH harbored resentment because that news caught me by surprise and my first thoughts were to be worried, not excited. I certainly came around and very quickly. But, her initial reaction, while unfortunately public, isn't a big deal. How she handles it with the new baby is what is important.

[nursemama23]

Thanks for all the replies. For the part I will just "let it go" but I do feel a conversation between dh, myself and her is in order. Our relationship is complicated. I do "know how she is" by this point but that doesn't make her actions acceptable. She has always favored our ODD and each child since has gotten less attention. She does not babysit or help care for our children in anyway. DH has talked to her on many occasions but it's always "poor me, I have it so rough. I'm all alone". I guess only time will tell.

[happysmileylady]

I suggest that you just let it go. If she says anything else nasty or rejects the child or something awful like that, then say something at that point. But, if she's behaving, just let her deal with her own emotions.

I just in general wonder sometimes why it's required that our families always be 100% happy every single time we announce a pregnancy. I totally agree that they shouldn't be rude or nasty, but why are they always required to be happy? We, as the ladies getting pregnant, aren't always happy to see two lines on a pregnancy test, why are they supposed to be.

[nursemama23]

They don't have to be happy, they just need to accept that it's not a decision they have any part in making.

[nursemama23]

So update. Had my odd's party today. BTW I can't believe she's 12! Anyways, MIL said maybe 10 words to me the entire 4 1/2 hrs she was here. She did however talk to good friends of ours and basically put the whole thing on us; we never call her, don't include her in our lives, etc. She even said "he may be my son but he can be a d&$@". Didn't once mention our expected baby. I just feel so frustrated and over the entire thing.

[Angel89411]

Originally Posted by nursemama23 So update. Had my odd's party today. BTW I can't believe she's 12! Anyways, MIL said maybe 10 words to me the entire 4 1/2 hrs she was here. She did however talk to good friends of ours and basically put the whole thing on us; we never call her, don't include her in our lives, etc. She even said "he may be my son but he can be a d&$@". Didn't once mention our expected baby. I just feel so frustrated and over the entire thing.

At the point she is spreading nasty lies about y'all, you guys really need to have a sit down with a good ole fashioned "well bless her heart/come to Jesus" talk.

[Puppydog]

MIL's are painful!! My MIL thinks the sun shines out of DH and I've taken him away from the family. Meanwhile he doesn't see them much because they treat me like dirt.

You are in a slightly better position that she seems to spread her resentment equally. What I think you both need to do is put your foot down with her. If she can't be nice, she isn't included. Period!! End of!!

Your new baby is a special gift, regardless of what MIL thinks.