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Old 09-17-2012, 12:39 PM   #11
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Re: REPEAT C/S OR VBAC?

For me it was a no brainer. Once I did a bit of research and found out how low a risk VBAC is and that a RCS would actually be higher (if still pretty low) risk, I chose VBAC and fought right to the end for it.

I believe that my OB was just humoring me with the induction for my first, he'd been talking c-section for weeks. He induced me for suspected Macrosomia at 39w2d and his idea of induction on a cervix that was high, long and completely closed was to just put me on pitocin and have someone check me every hour and up the dose if I wasn't dilating. Which I didn't at all. After 5 hours of having contractions almost right on top of one another, my cervix was still high, long and completely closed, so braniac decided to try to break my water, and instead tore out a peice of my cervix and nearly got a kick in the head. He then told me that he was either sectioning me or sending me home, but he figured if I went home I'd just have to have the section at a later date. I was devastated and consented to the section.

On the table I became two different people. The calm, rational woman who could talk and ask questions like a normal person, and the wounded animal who wanted off the table NOW so that she could go curl up in a dark cave and lick my wounds. I don't think anyone has any clue how badly part of me was panicking because I could still talk and ask rational questions. They cut me open and lifted my beautiful baby above the drape so I could see her and I distinctly remember my first thought being "cool, it's out, now get me the **** out of here" I could hear myself asking questions, like if it was the girl I'd been sure she was (we didn't know going in), if she was ok, but all I could hear was the raving of a mad woman inside my head wanting everyone to stop touching me and leave me alone. My husband took our daughter upstairs to be cooed over while I cried alone in recovery for an hour - I'd told him it was ok. When I finally did see her a part of me didn't want to hold her or bond with her, it wanted to run away and pretend the world didn't exist. It took weeks for that voice to go away. I gave up breastfeeding in large part because it hurt badly enough that part of me wanted to hurt my baby for hurting me.

For me, if I'd had to go through that again, if someone told me I couldn't have a VBAC, I'd have not had any more children. It is the scariest thing I've ever experienced to feel like I wasn't in control of my own mind, and I thought I was going crazy. Thankfully, after fighting SPD and pre-e I was able to have the VBAC that I wanted, and didn't have any of those symptoms with DD2.

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Old 09-19-2012, 10:24 PM   #12
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I had wanted a VBAC, but another breech made that decision for us. My babies were both planned C sections due to breech. I did not have my arms strapped down. We played our own choice of music, had laughs and joked, they helped take photos; it was a very nice and wonderful experience. I has wanted and planned on a natural birth for both; baby spinning, acupuncture, etc., etc., but to no avail. I'm happy we had the opportunity to have our C sections be so special, and i know an emergency C section doesn't have those options. If you chose a C section, ask questions and see if there are ways to make it special or the way you'd like it. Music is a simple request and so is dad announcing the sex (if you don't know). This helped our birthing experiences be memorable. Good luck!

ETA: We also did cheek to cheek bonding for 5 minutes or so. I got to touch baby with 1 arm, and i was in recovery with the baby in about 1/2 hour. Dad stayed with the baby the whole time & videoed what I missed. I nursed in recovery. Under the (breech) circumstances, I don't think I would have changed a thing. They were both great experiences.

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Old 09-25-2012, 12:08 AM   #13
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My next birth directly after was a HBAC and it was super hard but good experience. He was full term ad my biggest baby. The next baby I labored but never progressed past 6 and ended up with my 2nd CSection (turned out his cord was all wrapped around him an he couldn't decend). . .My 2nd CSection was 10x better then my first. Though I am planning a HBA2C this time, I dont have any fear of a CSection because I had such a good experience last time. I think knowing what to expect helps a lot and your able to stay mor relaxed and calm.
I dont think theres a right or wrong answer. Go with what you feel is best for you and baby.

Sent from my phone, excuse any typos.
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Old 09-25-2012, 01:16 AM   #14
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Re: REPEAT C/S OR VBAC?

I am 34 weeks and trying todecide I dontlike either optionto be quiet frank I am traumitized and terrified after my last birth.
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Old 10-01-2012, 03:26 PM   #15
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Re: REPEAT C/S OR VBAC?

I am trying for a vbac. The hospital is 1 hour away. I am scared for all the reasons you mentioned. But, my csection was for fetal distress and my body showed no signs of being unable to progress or whatever, so I feel okay about that.

If I was looking at 2 hrs away? I don't know. I would probably opt for the cesarean. I would be sad about it. homebirth might be an option for you. And if you have a good midwife who will monitor well and understands the potential complications, then you should be good. I am not allowed to have a homebirth here, so that's moot for me. but it's something I have considered. Our hospital did deliver a vbac recently because mom stayed home until it was time to push and there wasn't much they could do except deliver the baby. I tell myself that's another option
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Old 10-01-2012, 03:33 PM   #16
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Re: REPEAT C/S OR VBAC?

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Originally Posted by Computermama View Post
The calm, rational woman who could talk and ask questions like a normal person, and the wounded animal who wanted off the table NOW so that she could go curl up in a dark cave and lick my wounds. I don't think anyone has any clue how badly part of me was panicking because I could still talk and ask rational questions. They cut me open and lifted my beautiful baby above the drape so I could see her and I distinctly remember my first thought being "cool, it's out, now get me the **** out of here" I could hear myself asking questions, like if it was the girl I'd been sure she was (we didn't know going in), if she was ok, but all I could hear was the raving of a mad woman inside my head wanting everyone to stop touching me and leave me alone. My husband took our daughter upstairs to be cooed over while I cried alone in recovery for an hour - I'd told him it was ok. When I finally did see her a part of me didn't want to hold her or bond with her, it wanted to run away and pretend the world didn't exist. It took weeks for that voice to go away.
I understand this and I'm so sorry that you went through it.

I was much the same way. I fought to the end to not have a csection and it happened anyways. And it really really affected me. I had a doctor a few months ago (a male family doctor who was amazing) tell me how he thought that csections really affected women's psyches (not all women, I am sure) and how it can be a blow and he understood how I was still feeling guilt and depression from it 20months after it happened. It was really nice to have a medical professional tell me that my feelings were valid and understandable. That actually helped me heal tremendously.

So many times it seems women are brushed off with a 'you got the same end result - a healthy baby' and not validated and understood. Unless you have been a woman affected in this way, I guess it's hard to understand. The doctor said he understood because his wife went through it and he saw the damage it did to her.

The healthy baby is desired. but the healthy mom is also important.
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:53 PM   #17
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I am hoping for a vbac. Didn't have a terrible c/s experience but I know that in most cases a vaginal birth is safest.
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Old 10-05-2012, 09:44 AM   #18
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DS1 was a c-section for various reasons. I was induced, had a very long slow labor, pushed for four hours, he wasn't coming down. I was told his head was too big, but I mostly think he wasn't ready. It wasn't an emergency c-section, just unplanned. Anyway, without question, I went for the VBAC. Due to a cord issue, we did need a true emergency c-section. If we have a third, I will try again for a VBAC.
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:12 PM   #19
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Re: REPEAT C/S OR VBAC?

I had an amazing vbac in the water at a hospital. I know how lucky I am that this option was available to me.

My first was a cs bc of complete previa. So I had months to come to terms with it.
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Old 10-13-2012, 11:16 PM   #20
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Re: REPEAT C/S OR VBAC?

Thanks for sharing ladies! Really encouraging to see other ladies seeing other ladies trying to figure it all out and those who have been there, done that.
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