Does this sound like ADHD or something similar?

[Quickshep19]

My son has many of these traits (except the penis clutching) and has been on ADHD meds for years. He has seen 6 therapists & 2 psychiatrists. They just medicate him & try to "work" with him in therapy that does nothing for him at all. He forgets his therapy before we are even home, gets agressive when you try to remind him & hurts the 4 yo but not the baby. He annoys everybody with constant text messages and asking for people to buy him stuff. We are at our wits end & my aalready strugging marriage is even more shaky due to these behavior problems.

Jodie ~ wife & mama

[escapethevillage]

Originally Posted by Quickshep19 My son has many of these traits (except the penis clutching) and has been on ADHD meds for years. He has seen 6 therapists & 2 psychiatrists. They just medicate him & try to "work" with him in therapy that does nothing for him at all. He forgets his therapy before we are even home, gets agressive when you try to remind him & hurts the 4 yo but not the baby. He annoys everybody with constant text messages and asking for people to buy him stuff. We are at our wits end & my aalready strugging marriage is even more shaky due to these behavior problems. Jodie ~ wife & mama

Oh... I am so sorry. I can actually imagine how hard that would be. I hope he can get the right help soon, because obviously what they are trying isn't working.

[NiNi]

No advice but ihope you get the answers you need

sent from my iPhone. excuse all typos

[Quickshep19]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage Oh... I am so sorry. I can actually imagine how hard that would be. I hope he can get the right help soon, because obviously what they are trying isn't working.

Thank you. It is extremely difficult. The doctor has a hilarious answer to my problem. Call my husband. Haha. Idiot. Too bad this office is the only one that sees kids & takes our insurance. There are so many reasons I want to switch but no luck.

Jodie ~ wife & mama

[escapethevillage]

Originally Posted by Quickshep19 . Call my husband.

LOL.. "Call your husband" as in the old 1950s "Wait til your father gets home" threat? Or "Call your husband" as in "He can talk you out of killing someone".

[Quickshep19]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage LOL.. "Call your husband" as in the old 1950s "Wait til your father gets home" threat? Or "Call your husband" as in "He can talk you out of killing someone".

As in the 1950's "Wait til your father gets home" threat. That office really isn't a favorite at all. Therapy sessions are the worst though. Therapist is super nice but me waiting in the waiting room is super creepy. We have Medicaid & this office has adult patients as well as children. Some of the adult men can be scary & they ALL want to stare or talk & talk & talk. I feel very uncomfortable but I'm always nice & talk with them (and pray the therapist needs me quickly).

Jodie ~ wife & mama

[mcpforever]

It sounds like it could be. It also sounds like it could be something else.

A couple of things to keep in mind-
1) He has to exhibit these behavior patterns in more than one environment for a clear diagnosis. ex school and home
2) He is extremely young to end up with a diagnosis quite yet.

With this in mind, you don't want your ped diagnosing him. You want a psychologist/neuropsychologist here. Even if there is no clear diagnosis, you can absolutely find a therapist who can help you help your son. (because at this age, that is how it works)

I think the pottying and penis clutching is unrelated. Many children, boys and girls, do this kind of thing and are neurotypical.

Do you ever get to see him in peer group settings? That is where I saw differences in DS1 starting around age 3, but it wasn't until 8 that a diagnosis was in order.

FWIW, the writing/coloring thing is a bit soon to worry about. My eldest (ADHD) didn't ever like coloring until his fine motor skills were much better developed around second grade. DD (who is definitely not ADHD) didn't color much until 4.5 and then something clicked and she became a coloring fiend. DS2 (just turned 4 this summer) isn't much into coloring either but I am seeing a slow change in him recently where he will color small areas in detail. A large coloring picture is too much, but a small figure that takes 1/4 of the page is more doable for him.

[AniBee]

Thanks for the input ladies!

I'm def. going to be wary of any diagnosis the doctor gives tomorrow, if he gives any. There's a huge possibility he'll see nothing from just observing DS. We'll be going to the appointment with a written list of our concerns.

In my gut, I don't feel he has ADHD. He's always been a spirited child. Maybe the discipline issues and some of the other things are how a spirited child deals with going through these toddler/preschooler years. I know he has had a very very hard time coping with DS2 being such a high needs baby/child. DS2 cries a LOT, has since around 3 months of age. We've been to the pediatrician several times & there seems to be nothing wrong with him...just "high needs" as she described it. We are taking DS2 to speech and hearing testing soon to rule out any sort of hearing issue that could cause his crying/whining. But back to DS1...he's had to not only live with hearing DS2 cry pretty much all the time [if it's frustrating an annoying for us, I'm sure it is for him] but we are slaves to DS2 as he screams to be held and is generally a clingy child. DS1 is starved for my attention in particular, since DS2 wants me much more often than he does DH. DS1 gets a lot of quality time with DH, but I struggle to even give him 15 minutes of uninterrupted mommy/son time to bond, play, do what he wants.

I feel like a horrible parent. I feel like I have failed them both. DS2 developed hemolytic anemia at a week old and needed a blood transfusion and was in an incubator and under bili lights for a week. We barely got to hold him during that time. I often fear that played a part in his severe attachment/crying issues. Then DS2 was left not getting enough of my attention and could possibly be acting out because of his need for his mama, his jealousy towards his brother....

Ugh.

I don't want there to be anything seriously wrong with my boy, but I also don't want this behavior to continue and I need ways to cope/start to remedy it but I don't even see how we can do that with DS2 still being so darn needy :/