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Old 09-21-2012, 11:56 PM   #1
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j+csmama
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Southern Indiana
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And again....

I've had 3 miscarriages in just over a year. Why is it so hard?!?! The first one I didn't really know I was preg, I was about a week late and thought I might be so I took a test that popped +. The next day I started bleeding heavily and then a few days later the test said -. The second, I knew I was preg, but denied it like crazy. It was a horrible situation (really long story) and I just didn't really want to be preg so I told myself I wasn't. And of course since I was in denial and in a very dark place, I was smoking drinking and taking prescription meds that weren't good. I'm convinced I killed my baby.... I even went in for an u/s to date the preg and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I was probably near 9-10 weeks along. This time, I know I was preg. I had 2 + test. But I have an IUD. I've been having baby fever for so long and we've been in talks about me having the IUD out but just can't come to an agreement (finances, housing, etc....). The thought that I miscarried again is just so devastating to me. I'm hurting inside and I can't find anyone who understands. I just want my body to function right. I want my babymaker to work the way it should. I want that baby and DH doesn't..... Why does it have to be so hard.
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Julianne- BWing, ERFing, trying hard to stay sane, single, working momma to Jerzie (6) Camden (5) Jorja (3) and my 3 angel babies
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