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Old 09-24-2012, 07:12 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by canadianbakers

Are these customers or other people you work with? If it's just a random person, you can't do much - being rude in return would likely be frowned on. Of course, you could just say "what baby?" or "due for what?" if asked... or you could say nothing at all.
.
A good friend of mine would do this if someone said something over the line. "What? I am not pregnant!"
So sorry they are being so thoughtless!

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Old 09-25-2012, 06:59 AM   #12
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Re: I am going to go off...

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I'm huge!!! Only 12 weeks, and I may smack the next person to say something about twins. It's hard on me because DD1 was an identical twin, and we lost her sister at 31 weeks. So twins is not amusing to me in the slightest.
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mibarra: I know what you mean! My first are twins and my second pregnancy was twins again but we lost one at 7 weeks and another at 12. When I got pregnant again everyone was saying twins and it just hurt. I was relieved when I saw one baby on the u/s and now when people make comments about maybe there are two in there I show them the picture!
mamas. I can understand how that would make those comments even more painful to hear.

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I don't post much, but I read your post and wanted to say I can relate. I lost a little over 100 pounds the past 18 months and this pregnancy it's like I am ballooning back up fast no matter how good I eat or if I exercise. I am having major issues and worries with it. PM me ifyou wanna chat!
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Old 09-26-2012, 07:58 AM   #13
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Re: I am going to go off...

Thank you everyone for trying to comfort me. When I wrote this I was in the middle of an emotional break down. Of course yesterday one of the rude customers that made me cry came in and I was polite but not making small talk and she goes "what are you in a bad mood or something?" No I am not in a bad mood I just don't want to go off on you. Then this morning someone I work with commented that I was getting a pooch and asked me when I had my baby referring to my DD (who is 2 1/2 by the way and I have only been here 6 months), I told her I was pregnant and she had no idea. What on earth would possess you to comment asking when someone had their baby if you are noticing the pooch STARTING and not knowing I am pregnant. Thank goodness, only another week and a half of this place and then I am moving to Michigan lol.

To the Mama's who have lost, I am so sorry. I may not know what it is like to lose twins but I know the pain of miscarriage

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Old 09-26-2012, 08:11 AM   #14
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Re: I am going to go off...

These people are seriously rude. Gross.
With only that long left there, I'd be saying some mean things back - they need to learn that it's NOT okay to say anything about someone's body/weight.

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Old 09-26-2012, 08:29 AM   #15
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Re: I am going to go off...

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These people are seriously rude. Gross.
With only that long left there, I'd be saying some mean things back - they need to learn that it's NOT okay to say anything about someone's body/weight.

Mama.
I guess I am just not that confrontational of a person. I would rather just walk away and cry about it than wind up in a heated conversation about it. I guess it's just in my nature with people that really don't matter to me in the long run to just be the bigger person and walk away. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't mean I don't think about the things I would liketo say, lol.
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Old 09-26-2012, 08:50 AM   #16
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Re: I am going to go off...

I know what you mean - I am the same way. My DH is... not!

FWIW, I don't think there would be any conversation following an honest comment from you - simply saying "That was a rude thing to ask/say" is not mean or rude in itself, and the other person would most likely be embarassed and would get way asap!
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Old 09-26-2012, 08:54 AM   #17
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Re: I am going to go off...

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Originally Posted by canadianbakers View Post
I know what you mean - I am the same way. My DH is... not!

FWIW, I don't think there would be any conversation following an honest comment from you - simply saying "That was a rude thing to ask/say" is not mean or rude in itself, and the other person would most likely be embarassed and would get way asap!
Probably. I think what kills me the most though is these are WOMEN who HAVE CHILDREN!! One would think they of all people would understand.

Everyone ready for a laugh??? This is my current FB status that I just typed up. Enjoy and feel free to share if you want .

"Ok...so important lesson for all you people out there who don't already know.

1) Don't ever say to a pregnant woman anything that would imply that she is huge, large or any other synonym associated with these words. It doesn't matter how large she is, she always looks fabulous.
2) Don't EVER ask the question "you got twins in there or something?" Not only is that implying a violation of rule #1, but it also could be a sensitive subject to someone who may have lost a multiple pregnancy (perhaps losing a multiple in THIS pregnancy)
3) If you don't KNOW for a fact that a woman is pregnant, don't comment on the pooch she is getting and ask questions that would imply you think said pooch is from a previous pregnancy. If the pooch is growing it is not from a previous pregnancy, she is either pregnant again or just getting fat and you don't want to make a mistake deciphering between the 2.
4) Don't ever tell her she looks like crap, even if she does. Don't comment that she looks tired, or her skin is breaking out...just don't do it. Even if you mean it complimentary by stating she is looking better today than the day before, that implies that yesterday she looked like crap and does not help with her self esteem
5) Remember the age old piece of advice your Mama gave you... "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." Pregnant women have feelings too, usually more than our non pregnant counterparts. We are sensitive and need compassion. Making a joke at a pregnant woman's expense is just going to drag her self esteem down even lower. If you don't have something positive to say to her, then just keep your mouth shut.
6) Last rule- Don't EVER EVER touch her belly unless she invites you to do so! We are not buddah statues and our bodies don't become public property just because there is a baby in there. HANDS OFF!

I hope you all have learned a valuable lesson from this and next time you run across a beautifully pregnant woman you will smile and know all the right things to say as well as what not to say ."
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:01 PM   #18
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Re: I am going to go off...

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Originally Posted by ~KittyKat~ View Post
Thank you everyone for trying to comfort me. When I wrote this I was in the middle of an emotional break down. Of course yesterday one of the rude customers that made me cry came in and I was polite but not making small talk and she goes "what are you in a bad mood or something?" No I am not in a bad mood I just don't want to go off on you. Then this morning someone I work with commented that I was getting a pooch and asked me when I had my baby referring to my DD (who is 2 1/2 by the way and I have only been here 6 months), I told her I was pregnant and she had no idea. What on earth would possess you to comment asking when someone had their baby if you are noticing the pooch STARTING and not knowing I am pregnant. Thank goodness, only another week and a half of this place and then I am moving to Michigan lol.

To the Mama's who have lost, I am so sorry. I may not know what it is like to lose twins but I know the pain of miscarriage
I can't believe that lady asked about your weight like that!!! I would be soooo mad and probably say something I would regret later, like 'I'm pregnant, what's with you're belly?' :P I got asked if I was pregnant earlier this year when I wasn't, and I was so caught off guard I responded "No, just fat apparently..." The person who asked was mortified....
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Old 09-26-2012, 10:02 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by ~KittyKat~

Probably. I think what kills me the most though is these are WOMEN who HAVE CHILDREN!! One would think they of all people would understand.

Everyone ready for a laugh??? This is my current FB status that I just typed up. Enjoy and feel free to share if you want .

"Ok...so important lesson for all you people out there who don't already know.

1) Don't ever say to a pregnant woman anything that would imply that she is huge, large or any other synonym associated with these words. It doesn't matter how large she is, she always looks fabulous.
2) Don't EVER ask the question "you got twins in there or something?" Not only is that implying a violation of rule #1, but it also could be a sensitive subject to someone who may have lost a multiple pregnancy (perhaps losing a multiple in THIS pregnancy)
3) If you don't KNOW for a fact that a woman is pregnant, don't comment on the pooch she is getting and ask questions that would imply you think said pooch is from a previous pregnancy. If the pooch is growing it is not from a previous pregnancy, she is either pregnant again or just getting fat and you don't want to make a mistake deciphering between the 2.
4) Don't ever tell her she looks like crap, even if she does. Don't comment that she looks tired, or her skin is breaking out...just don't do it. Even if you mean it complimentary by stating she is looking better today than the day before, that implies that yesterday she looked like crap and does not help with her self esteem
5) Remember the age old piece of advice your Mama gave you... "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." Pregnant women have feelings too, usually more than our non pregnant counterparts. We are sensitive and need compassion. Making a joke at a pregnant woman's expense is just going to drag her self esteem down even lower. If you don't have something positive to say to her, then just keep your mouth shut.
6) Last rule- Don't EVER EVER touch her belly unless she invites you to do so! We are not buddah statues and our bodies don't become public property just because there is a baby in there. HANDS OFF!

I hope you all have learned a valuable lesson from this and next time you run across a beautifully pregnant woman you will smile and know all the right things to say as well as what not to say ."
Hehe, cute.

I hate when people make comments about your body. I used to get comments when I was super skinny asking if I was anorexic... Like I would say, ” yes, thank you for asking.” I guess on some cultures it isn't looked down upon to say something about weight, but there isn't such a sigma either. Still hurts. Sorry you are going through this.

Sent from my phone using DS Forum... Typos complements of Swype
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:46 AM   #20
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Re: I am going to go off...

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I can't believe that lady asked about your weight like that!!! I would be soooo mad and probably say something I would regret later, like 'I'm pregnant, what's with you're belly?' :P I got asked if I was pregnant earlier this year when I wasn't, and I was so caught off guard I responded "No, just fat apparently..." The person who asked was mortified....
awesome post!

When people say rude things I usually have one of two responses, "That was rude." or I look at them with concern and say, "Do you suffer from turrets syndrome because that was just rude." Both put the person back in their place! Right now I am clearly pregnant but all 140 of my students and all my dozens of co-workers have said nothing and that is the way it should be. It is MY information to share or not share as I see fit.
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