What to say to nosy people

[mcmorley]

Dh and I have been for 2+ years to no avail (despite help from the re). Right now we are in a holding pattern trying to figure out what our next steps should be.

On Sunday I will be going to a baby shower for my brother & SIL who are expecting their first. I am really anxious about this shower because there will be at least 2 other very pregnant people in addition to SIL. A majority of the family does not know our infertility situation (including my mom). My family has not been shy about making comments about dh and I starting a family, what other people have gone through to have children, anecdotes for getting pregnant and general comments about how pets are multiplying more than grand kids. Sadly, I wouldn't put it past my mother to "plant" an innocent question to try to pry. Plus, to some it's natural to even comment about how dh and I have been married for 1.5 years longer than my brother & SIL so shouldn't we be announcing something soon.

Needless to say, I am really sensitive to any comments and already feel like a ticking time bomb due to previous comments we have had to grin and bear. Not going to this shower is not an option because I don't want to create bad blood between me and my brother or SIL. I am looking for polite but direct responses to those dreadful questions about if/when DH and I plan to start our family and how to squash any other unsolicited comments without coming out with "we can't".

Any advice you can offer is much appreciated!