Parenting Schedule question

[GodLover]

I need someone to help my wrap my brain around this. Explain to me the thought process.....
You are in a divided family-You (mom) only have your son the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend(if there is one) from Friday after school till sunday evening.
Explain to me why you are out of town 2 of 3 weekends-this was last month and for the month of October already planning to be OOT the 1st weekend. and we have vacation the 3rd weekend that means mom doesnt see her son for 6 weeks!!! This is a regular occurance frequently mom is OOT on her parenting time which is already 4 or 6 days a MONTH and doesnt seem to care? Not to mention it is a rare occasion if she offers us the time when she is OOT even though it is court ordered.

Im lost....someone help me understand.
My thought is if you only see your first born a few days out of the month wouldn't you want to spend that time with him?

[mcpforever]

I sure would.

1) I'd schedule my out of town trips so as not to interfere with my time with my child.
2) I'd take out the child WITH me on out of town trips.
3) If said trip was such that I absolutely couldn't reschedule it or bring my child, I'd be pleading with the custodial parent to swap weekends so I would still have time with my child.
4) I would be a resentful of the custodial parents for taking one of my weekends.

[canadianbakers]

Yes, I absolutely would.
I feel very sad for this little guy. Poor dude.

[JeDeeLenae]

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Do you know why she's going OOT?

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

[mrseum]

Some ppl just should not be parents, plain & simple. They either never wanted a baby to begin with or quickly changed their minds. Poor baby... :/

[mrspnut82]

Are you the step mom? Has the giving up rights discussion been had? I would be pushing for that. It's better than a kid being disappointed when mom doesn't show all the time.

[GodLover]

Yes i am step mom have been is his life since he was 14 months old he is almost 11.
Sadly she has 3 other kids. The other kids get left behind majority of the time as well from what DS tells us. Not sure where she goes really don't care it's more of the fact. (Currently we think are under the impression she is trying to be a surrogate for the third time or donate her eggs for the 8th time) or in the past it has been weekend trips to Reno or Tahoe.
Mom has control issues I don't think she would give up her 4 days a month. Even though she doesn't have him most of the time.
I understand the want for vacation time alone with your spouse but shoot you have 24 days a month schedule vacation when your son is not with you!
We want to return to court and fight for it but then it's not fair to DS but it is so annoying to have him come home and say he was with someone else all weekend and his mom was out of town.
Ugh sorry I'm just so frustrated! And really don't understand

[jbug_4]

Originally Posted by JeDeeLenae Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Do you know why she's going OOT? Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

Maybe she isn't going out of town. Maybe she is serving weekend time. My aunt had to do that for 6 months for pot possession. That one is a real long shot I know, but that is what popped into my head.

I fell bad for the boy. That sucks. Is he aware of the arrangement? Like does he know mom legally should have him for x amount of days? If not I wouldn't tell him or say things like your suppose to be going to moms this day. Just make it like a surprise when she does actually take him. That won't work as he gets older and it makes me annoyed that it doesn't show the kid mom is being the bad guy, but it makes the kid happier. I had a cousin that use to do this for her's when dad didn't take them on his days. She just pretended that dad wasn't suppose to take them at all, so when he did it was a nice treat or surprise for the kids. Made dad the hero- which is really makes me mad, but it also helps the kids feel not abandoned. Of course once they got older it didn't work any more, but at least they were happy for a while.

[jbug_4]

disregard my last post- he's too old for that to work. i am glad he has a good example of what it should be like. Just keep supporting him and don't let her nastiness bring you down too far.

[mrspnut82]

Originally Posted by GodLover Yes i am step mom have been is his life since he was 14 months old he is almost 11. Sadly she has 3 other kids. The other kids get left behind majority of the time as well from what DS tells us. Not sure where she goes really don't care it's more of the fact. (Currently we think are under the impression she is trying to be a surrogate for the third time or donate her eggs for the 8th time) or in the past it has been weekend trips to Reno or Tahoe. Mom has control issues I don't think she would give up her 4 days a month. Even though she doesn't have him most of the time. I understand the want for vacation time alone with your spouse but shoot you have 24 days a month schedule vacation when your son is not with you! We want to return to court and fight for it but then it's not fair to DS but it is so annoying to have him come home and say he was with someone else all weekend and his mom was out of town. Ugh sorry I'm just so frustrated! And really don't understand

ahhh i didn't realize he still went over there even though she's not there. How crappy