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Old 09-30-2012, 10:24 PM   #1
tesslouise
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in-laws visiting, vent

My in-laws are visiting in October, Saturday to Saturday. I found out TODAY by OVERHEARING my MIL talking to my 3-year-old (on Skype) that they're staying with us. Oh yeah, hubby FORGOT TO TELL ME THEY WERE STAYING HERE.

They stayed with us once. They complained about our stairs (we live in a townhouse-style apartment), they complained about our guest bed (it's a platform bed that needs to be reinforced in the middle). They've stayed in a hotel every time they've visited since then (once or twice a year since we moved here in 2008).

Since last year, they have lost weight (MIL actually had gastric bypass surgery and has lost a huge amount of weight since we saw her last Thanksgiving). And the bed does need to be reinforced and I'll try to see that hubby does it.

But my point is, if everything isn't perfect, I can't expect them to be gracious about it.

And I have a six-week-old and a 3-year-old and too much STUFF crammed into our apartment and I have to have BOTH floors ready for guests in two weeks.

And to complicate things further, hubby has been working in another city M-Th or F for over a year now, but (thankfully) he'll start back here the same week his parents arrive. So that's a good thing. But it means that actually the guest bed will have to be disassembled and moved back here (which will mean renting a truck) and reassembled. And the crib will need to be disassembled and moved from DD#1's room into our bedroom and reassembled. And the pack'n'play will need to be taken down and stored under our bed, which is really the only thing I can do myself. And then we need to figure out where DD#1 is going to sleep (she's been in the crib with the side taken off) since the ILs will be in her "new" bed. We have a toddler-sized air mattress but no floor space for it once we put the crib in our room, and hubby + me + toddler + baby in our bed for over a week sounds torturous.

UGH.

Family is important, they want to meet the new baby, they truly don't have money to stay somewhere else (and neither do we), I want my daughters to know all of their grandparents, I know I know I know. But SERIOUSLY?

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Old 10-01-2012, 06:05 AM   #2
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Re: in-laws visiting, vent

I am sorry your having to deal with this. I have had a rotating door of family here for the last 6 weeks. The last of them (my inlaws) went home on Saturday and I am taking most of this week to recover from them leaving!

We put our son in our closet in an air mattress. The guest bed was moved to DS room because he was having issues with sleeping in there and me being in there helped him. So we didn't move it and just had everyone in there. Could you do that?

If that doesn't work, then it is hard for me to recommend anything to you without seeing your situation in person. DH and I have the smallest bedroom in our house and we could have easily had a baby in our room even with DS in our closet. Our bedroom is so small a king size bed wouldn't fit, but our queen works well.

Good luck and I hope your week goes by as fast is my in laws week last week did for me.
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Old 10-01-2012, 06:49 AM   #3
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Re: in-laws visiting, vent

I'd put oldest DD in with them, if that's the only option, and they could get over it. Seriously, that sounds terrible! Having to clean up two floors when you're the primary caregiver to two kids with your husband mostly out of town - i am so sorry!
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Old 10-01-2012, 07:01 AM   #4
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Re: in-laws visiting, vent

Ugh. Does the guest bed have to be moved at that point in time, or can it wait until the IL's leave? If it can wait, I'd go somewhere like Walmart and get a full size or queen size air mattress for the ILs. I'd leave the pack and play and DD1's bed where they are, and would let the ILs cope with sleeping with her in the room with them. If you can afford to, I'd hire someone to come and clean a few days before they get there. Alternatively, find a babysitter you trust (a teenager or pre-teen) who can come over and play with the kids while you do the cleaning. It can be a pre-teen because you'll be there anyway, you just need someone to distract the 3 year old. You can always wear the 6-week old in a sling or do the cleaning while the baby is napping. As for the clutter---I don't like to do this sort of thing but in a pinch the old "sweep it under the rug" method works pretty well----just cram it all into some rubbermade containers and stack them in a corner, or gather it all up in laundry baskets and shove them in a closet or under a bed until you can pull them out and sort through them....


The alternative is to tell DH that you're overwhelmed and beg him to ask them to stay at a hotel (i've done this before) OR you can just not worry about cleaning the house (they are family, after all) and you can ask your In-laws to help you clean up by watching the kids (they ARE grandparents, and they CAN make themselves useful and you DO have the perfect excuse with a new baby on your hands).
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Old 10-01-2012, 09:55 PM   #5
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Re: in-laws visiting, vent

Thank you all for the suggestions. The ILs *truly* can't afford to stay in a hotel. They're taking a bus here because it's cheap. They live on retirement and disability. In the past we've paid some of their travel expenses but this time we really can't.

We do have an air mattress but quite frankly I would rather give them a room with a door that shuts, for everyone's sake. (As opposed to air mattress in living room.)

3-year-old has been waking several times a night since just before her sister was born so she can't sleep in a room with cranky in-laws. 6-week-old actually sleeps better at night than her sister!
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Old 10-01-2012, 10:52 PM   #6
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Re: in-laws visiting, vent

Can you maybe put your in-laws in your room and you sleep in the other bedroom with the kids? That is what we've done when our grandparents come to visit, give them the better room and leave ourselves with less kid clutter to have to worry about picking up before they arrive. Our parents would go in a kids' room but for "special guests" we make special allowances.
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Old 10-02-2012, 09:27 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitchkids
Can you maybe put your in-laws in your room and you sleep in the other bedroom with the kids? That is what we've done when our grandparents come to visit, give them the better room and leave ourselves with less kid clutter to have to worry about picking up before they arrive. Our parents would go in a kids' room but for "special guests" we make special allowances.
Maybe. They could have our king-size bed and we could set up the air mattress if we don't get the guest bed moved up here from DH's apartment. But cosleeping on an air mattress makes me nervous. Hmm.
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:41 AM   #8
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Re: in-laws visiting, vent

Co-sleeping on an air mattress isn't really recommended - it would be fine if the mattress stayed totally firm all night, but usually they deflate somewhat and get squishy. Just too risky.

Sounds like a tight squeeze, no matter how you move things/beds/people around! Is there any other family close by that they could stay with?

When we lived in our apartment (2bdr, with DD and DS1) and small house (again 2bdr, with DD, DS1 and DS2) we would just have family sleep in the living room. It wasn't really a big deal for anyone, even with them not having a "real" room. They just had to deal with DD jumping on them when she got up in the mornings!
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Old 10-02-2012, 03:00 PM   #9
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Mine are coming in a few days. I know they will say something about co-sleeping but I'll just tell them to have their own baby so they can make decisions they like.

Good luck!
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Old 10-02-2012, 09:16 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadianbakers
Sounds like a tight squeeze, no matter how you move things/beds/people around! Is there any other family close by that they could stay with?
Don't marry an only child, I tell ya!
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