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Old 10-03-2012, 07:28 PM   #1
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Tubal regret...

I thought this would be a good place to vent and find some support so here is my story.
I am the proud mother of three awesome kiddos...unfortunately the timing wasn't always so awesome so when baby #3 came and my doc kept offering it (he started the day I came in prego with #2...should've run!) I bit. I'm sure it was mostly my hormones and my panic talking but I went ahead and had my tubes tied when #3 was born even though I was a little hesitant. She is 4 now. I have been waiting for this "baby fever" to pass and I am still heartbroken. Whenever anyone gets pregnant or has a baby I feel terrible...sad, jealous, angry...mostly at myself for creating this situation. I feel aweful and guilty that these are my feelings. I know how very blessed I am with the children I have, I have a sister-in-law and brother-in-law who have been waiting for a baby for nearly five years and I feel so selfish.
Has anyone else ever gone through this? I'd love some words of wisdom...or any support
Thanks mamas!

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Old 10-03-2012, 07:44 PM   #2
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Re: Tubal regret...

I understand that feeling completely! I had planned to do the same thing but at the last second I panicked and I just couldn't do it, so I told them not to. But, DH had his heart set on not having any more kids so he kept talking about getting a vasectomy. I broke down and let him get one, but now I'm feeling the same way you are, with crazy baby fever! I loved being pregnant and it makes me a little sad to think there won't be any more babies in the house. He has noticed and now he feels guilty and like he pushed too hard to get it, but as soon as reality hits me I realize that things would be even more tough and financially tight with any more. I just try to focus on the positives of being done having kids as soon as the fever hits, and have a glass of wine just because you can, lol. We have also discussed the idea of fostering and/or adopting if we ever do feel like we want to grow our family. There are a lot of kids who need good homes too
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Old 10-03-2012, 08:36 PM   #3
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Re: Tubal regret...

Thanks so much, you are absolutely right! we've talked about adoption and I do try to focus on all the positives too, some days it still really bums me out...I'm really greatful to be able to come here where there's always someone who knows how I feel!
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Old 10-03-2012, 10:50 PM   #4
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Re: Tubal regret...

Actually it's nice to hear I'm not alone too, lol. I just found out tonight that my cousin is pregnant, and she and I were pregnant with our first babies at the same time. The green eyed monster is sitting in the back of my mind right now because she gets to be pregnant and I don't, lol.
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Old 10-06-2012, 08:10 AM   #5
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Re: Tubal regret...

So sorry you are both feeling that way

Have you considered a reversal? Depending on the circumstances, they can be pretty effective. Not always covered by insurance, but adoption isn't cheap either unfortunately.

Hope you both find some peace
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:21 PM   #6
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Re: Tubal regret...

Husband really doesn't want any more, so no reversals for us. I have thought about being a surrogate though, and hubs is fully on board with that, so maybe we will be able to give a gift to another family instead
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Old 11-14-2012, 08:52 PM   #7
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Re: Tubal regret...

Bumping this thread. I had a tubal with my last pregnancy. Ds is now almost two, and i am recently feeling baby fever for the first time. I dont miss being pregnant and rationally I know its best we are done (we also have a 4 year old dd). Still, realizing the door is shut does make me sad. Coupled 2ith weather changes, financial stress, the holidays, and general mommy burnout and lately I have bben a bit down. Its funny I can be burnt out but still have baby fever!
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:10 AM   #8
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I can totally relate! I had my tubes tied after my 2nd child was born and regretted it almost immediately. I had baby fever for the following 8 years until DH agreed on a reversal. I had to travel out of state and pay cash to have it done, but it was worth it. Baby #3 is now almost 5 months old!
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Old 11-17-2012, 05:41 PM   #9
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Re: Tubal regret...

I am feeling the same way. I know for my body and my family it was best. But I have many times when I regret it so much. My body hungers for another baby. But it won't happen. Feel free anyone to PM. I would love to have someone to chat with.
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