Can someone help me answer this "birds and bees" question for my 5.5 yr old?

[HugeBabyBoy]

Originally Posted by NYCVeg We have a book called "It's Not the Stork" (ages 4+), which we got when dd started asking more detailed questions around age 5. I don't think you can answer the question without mentioning sex--that IS how the sperm gets to your egg--but we found the book very helpful for finding age-appropriate language. The book doesn't focus on sex, but on the differences between boys and girls and how babies grow in the womb.

I'll be getting that book. Thanks!

[Kiliki]

Originally Posted by Van1300 I like the 'puzzle concept', I'll have to remember that when she starts asking about sex. My DD is almost 3 and she is really interested in body parts. I'm pregnant with a boy so we've been round and round about me and her having a "V" and boobies/breast milk and Daddy (and the dog) and the new baby having a "P". She likes to point them out on people and ask about it in public a lot I think 5-6 y/o is a good age to talk in simple, but honest terms. I remember learning about sex when I was that age from two girls who had older siblings. Their versions were way wrong and I asked my mom and she cleared it up for me. I don't know if your daughter goes to school yet or has neighborhood friends, but I would assume that she might have heard about it somewhere else first!

No, she does not go to school, and she does not play with any kids without OUR direct supervision, and all of her playmates are ones that we know their families closely and this is not a topic that has come up.

I was pregnant when she was 3 going on 4, and now again, when she is 5 going on 6.

Also, she has seen cows give birth, and we've had pretty extensive conversations (just me answering her questions but WOW she has a LOT of questions!) about chickens and eggs and how they are fertilized, etc.

She knows a mommy has an egg and a daddy has a sperm and that the two have to get together to make the baby. Once they meet the baby starts growing.

Here's how some of the convo went yesterday:

DD: How did your egg get fertilized?
Me: Mommy's have eggs and Daddy's have another part and when they come together, they fertilize the egg and it grows into a baby.
DD: What other part do Daddy's have?
Me: It's called sperm.
DD: How did the sperm get to your egg?
Me: The Daddy gives the sperm to the Mommy for the egg.
DD: Did he hand it to you? How did it get to your egg?
Me: Remember where Mommy's have their eggs?
DD: Yes, in their tummy's........ So you swallowed it then? You swallowed the sperm?
Me: No.
DD: Then how did it get to your egg?
Me: Do you remember where the baby comes out?
DD: Yes, the private parts.
Me: Yup. So that is where the sperm has to go to get to the egg.
DD: So you put the sperm inside your vagina?
Me: Kind of.
DD: How did that feel mommy? Did it feel funny?
Me: We'll talk about it more another time.





I feel like I failed. Ugh. I know next time it comes up I need to just give straight forward answers. I just don't want to give too much info too soon. KWIM?

[chandni3]

Originally Posted by Kiliki No, she does not go to school, and she does not play with any kids without OUR direct supervision, and all of her playmates are ones that we know their families closely and this is not a topic that has come up. I was pregnant when she was 3 going on 4, and now again, when she is 5 going on 6. Also, she has seen cows give birth, and we've had pretty extensive conversations (just me answering her questions but WOW she has a LOT of questions!) about chickens and eggs and how they are fertilized, etc. She knows a mommy has an egg and a daddy has a sperm and that the two have to get together to make the baby. Once they meet the baby starts growing. Here's how some of the convo went yesterday: DD: How did your egg get fertilized? Me: Mommy's have eggs and Daddy's have another part and when they come together, they fertilize the egg and it grows into a baby. DD: What other part do Daddy's have? Me: It's called sperm. DD: How did the sperm get to your egg? Me: The Daddy gives the sperm to the Mommy for the egg. DD: Did he hand it to you? How did it get to your egg? Me: Remember where Mommy's have their eggs? DD: Yes, in their tummy's........ So you swallowed it then? You swallowed the sperm? Me: No. DD: Then how did it get to your egg? Me: Do you remember where the baby comes out? DD: Yes, the private parts. Me: Yup. So that is where the sperm has to go to get to the egg. DD: So you put the sperm inside your vagina? Me: Kind of. DD: How did that feel mommy? Did it feel funny? Me: We'll talk about it more another time. I feel like I failed. Ugh. I know next time it comes up I need to just give straight forward answers. I just don't want to give too much info too soon. KWIM?

I think you did great! She sounds like a very smart, thinking kid.

[my2sweets]

I think you did fine!

[Kiliki]

Originally Posted by chandni3 I think you did great! She sounds like a very smart, thinking kid.

Originally Posted by my2sweets I think you did fine!

Thank you both.

When she said "how did it feel mommy?" I snorted and choked on my coffee and thought I would pass out. oh my.

[my2sweets]

My favorite ? was 'did you swallow it?' Lol Dd1 asked the same question

[isabelsmummy]

LOL.
"How did it feel" ?! Hilarious.
I was thankful that when I told my dd about how it happens that she didn't ask anymore questions.

It's embarrassing and awkward to us but really no different then telling them about any other bodily function. I don't think there is ever an age that is 'too soon'. If they ask the question, just answer it.

A friend's 8yr old, upon finding out that her father and new wife were planning on having a baby said to her mom :"um.. so does that mean they will have to do 'that thing'". Mom replied, "yes, they will probably have to do it once".

[Terra]

Originally Posted by Kiliki Thank you both. When she said "how did it feel mommy?" I snorted and choked on my coffee and thought I would pass out. oh my.

I agree, you did great! And it sounds like you have a wonderfully smart and curious girl on your hands!

[jojoreta]

I don't think you failed! I think that was a good response. I think your daughter is verrrry smart too!!!

We have already had the talk..actually when my girl was 3 almost 4 because we got pregnant with Tanner and I wanted her there for the birth but didn't want her to freak out, ya know? She did well and very seldom does she ask questions about it. About 3 weeks after having the talk she came up to me and said 'so daddy sticks his (sort of trailed off)' I said 'yep, daddy did stick his penis in my vagina and that's how we got a baby to grow' she smiled, clapped, turned around and went off to play.

**not so patiently waiting for baby #3 to arrive**

[DalesWidda]

Originally Posted by Leiiki I don't think there's a "too young" really. The earlier you talk about sex in matter-of-fact terms, the less awkward it will be. I'd much rather tell a very young child where babies come from than try to talk to a preteen who still thinks the stork is involved. The book Where Did I Come From is actually perfect for her age (it's listed as 6 and up but I had it much earlier and so did my niece). http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0818402539

I agree with this. My eleven year old STILL doesn't know about sex and I'm pretty positive of this because she isn't really around anyone to talk about it with. (she's homeschooled). Now I don't know how or when to bring it up. My almost nine year old should be told too. They can't even handle kissing. How in the blazes do I talk about sex!