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Old 10-05-2012, 11:12 AM   #21
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My stepdad is this obese, and has broken all of his own and my mom's furniture as well. So I get it.

I like the suggestion to bring along chairs that are safe for him to sit in. You can decide if you want to have a special Bob chair, or if you want to just buy a set that you'd always use with a "rowdy" set of people as well.

If your DH is willing to honestly address his weight issues with him (bc it is a health issue, and a sign of deeper mental and emotional health/happiness issues) then have that conversation separately from this trip. It's fair for you to be concerned about his weight impacting your property and costing you financially. And I think it's a natural way to bring up the topic of how his weight is costing him physically and in other areas of his life.

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Old 10-05-2012, 11:15 AM   #22
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Re: WWYD... overweight friend and new furniture...

A part of me wonders if he doesn't have the funds to offer to pay for a chair if he's constantly breaking furniture around his own house....
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:17 AM   #23
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Re: WWYD... overweight friend and new furniture...

That's tough. Didn't read the other responses. I'm sure it's hard for Bob, because it's embarrassing, but if I was consistently breaking furniture of others, I'd either replace it or sit on more sturdy furniture. Bummer.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:18 AM   #24
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I'd have your hubby say something along the lines of, "Hey Buddy, last time we were up a bunch of our chairs were broken. We JUST replaced them and the wife is worried that this set will also be broken - rightly so since it's a cheaper metal. Would you mind bringing a chair up that you know you'll be comfortable in it?"

I'm sure he has higher-weighted chairs at his own house. You should not be responsible for buying one, nor replacing another set of furniture because yours doesn't support his frame.

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Old 10-05-2012, 11:20 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by happysmileylady
Wait, he broke your chairs but didn't offer to pay for them? I don't care how he broke them, whether he was too big or wehther is drove a 4-wheeler into them an smashed them, if he broke the chairs he should pay to replace them. If my kid jumps on the couch and busts the springs, I offer to replace it, this is no different.
Exactly what I was thinking!

Sorry OP- sounds like your stuck between a rock and a hard place(
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:20 AM   #26
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Re: WWYD... overweight friend and new furniture...

Quote:
Originally Posted by keonli View Post
A part of me wonders if he doesn't have the funds to offer to pay for a chair if he's constantly breaking furniture around his own house....
I don't think he does, plus having sole responsibility for five grandkids now, I think things are just too tight right now.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:31 AM   #27
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Living XL has a 1000 lb chair. Maybe it could be a present?

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Old 10-05-2012, 11:39 AM   #28
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Re: WWYD... overweight friend and new furniture...

Wait a second. Your friend knows he's heavy. Just tell him he's been breaking your chairs and he has to sit in the metal fold up one or whatever. We had a very heavy friend who we used to game with and we had a rolling desk chair that worked for him.

The fact that he's heavy is obvious. Just deal with it honestly. Why beat around the bush or wince when he sits down? Work with him to find a solution.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:53 AM   #29
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We have the same problem, except it's DHs brother so not inviting him isn't an option. Not to mention, you can't always replace part of a set depending on where you got it and when YK?
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Old 10-05-2012, 12:08 PM   #30
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Re: WWYD... overweight friend and new furniture...

I like asking him if he has a chair, but I would tell him your worried about not having enough chairs for everyone rather than do you have a chair that will hold your weight. Telling him to bring a chair so your sure there are enough allows you to skip the whole weight talk all together. For the stairs- i would warn him that they are getting dangerous to take care. Other then replacing them or maybe using a piece of plywood to make a ramp (would that work? The weight would be so heavy on the actual stairs that way) there isn't much you can do. I would be worried about him getting hurt if they broke so definitely warn him that they are failing- again you wouldn't need to say anything at all about his weight.
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