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Old 10-06-2012, 05:33 PM   #11
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So you never lie to to your kids, ever? What about to protect them from information that isn't age appropriate? Or about something they don't need to know about? I'm all for being honest and truthful but I also believe that some things are for grown ups and are of no concern of children. Like my DH is in Afghanistan right now. I lie daily to my kids, who are 4 and 2 about this. Yes they know he is in the desert "helping people" but am I going to tell them the truth about what is happening there? Nope, not at their age. When they are older, sure. Lying or omitting information to protect children is not a bad thing, in my opinion. They are only small for a short while so you had better believe I am going to do my damnedest to give them a magical, innocent life for as long as I can. If I need to tell some harmless lies along the way, then I will do it.

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Old 10-06-2012, 05:37 PM   #12
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Do you ever use these little white lies to your parental advantage?
nope, i feel that it's disrespectful personally.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:37 PM   #13
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Re: The power of Santa...

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So you never lie to to your kids, ever? What about to protect them from information that isn't age appropriate? Or about something they don't need to know about?.
like what?
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:40 PM   #14
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like what?
Like in the example I gave above. Does a 2 year old need to know that daddy is currently having bullets shot at his head on a daily basis? I don't know how anyone would tell the truth in this situation.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:43 PM   #15
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Re: The power of Santa...

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Originally Posted by megenic View Post
So you never lie to to your kids, ever? What about to protect them from information that isn't age appropriate? Or about something they don't need to know about? I'm all for being honest and truthful but I also believe that some things are for grown ups and are of no concern of children. Like my DH is in Afghanistan right now. I lie daily to my kids, who are 4 and 2 about this. Yes they know he is in the desert "helping people" but am I going to tell them the truth about what is happening there? Nope, not at their age. When they are older, sure. Lying or omitting information to protect children is not a bad thing, in my opinion. They are only small for a short while so you had better believe I am going to do my damnedest to give them a magical, innocent life for as long as I can. If I need to tell some harmless lies along the way, then I will do it.
I started a thread on this. "Is it possible to parent your kids without lying"

But I'll say here that I do think it's possible to be truthful without sharing every bit of information you have on a topic. There's discression involved of course, but I do think it's possible.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:49 PM   #16
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Re: The power of Santa...

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Like in the example I gave above. Does a 2 year old need to know that daddy is currently having bullets shot at his head on a daily basis? I don't know how anyone would tell the truth in this situation.
i dont know about your 2 year old but im pretty sure mine would never ask such a question let alone what daddy does for work.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:55 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes

i dont know about your 2 year old but im pretty sure mine would never ask such a question let alone what daddy does for work.
Really? Both my kids are fully aware of what he does for work and where he is. The 2.5 year old constantly asks why daddy is in Afghanistan and why he has to be there. The 4.5 year old knows even more. We live in an army town. Everyone's fathers are gone. They talk about it in school. It's a huge part of our lives so I would be more shocked if a 2.5 year old kid wasn't curious and asking questions. All mine does is ask questions. She also is always with me, so when I am talking to other adults and they ask questions, you can bet she's soaking it all up. If your husband was gone for 8 months your 2 year old wouldn't be asking questions?
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:03 PM   #18
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Re: The power of Santa...

Well in your situation, where the kids know somethings up, probably sense your fear and loneliness, I see how they are asking questions! I would be honest with them. I would't tell them he has bullets flying at his head but I would tell them the things you believe about what he's doing in terms they can understand.

"he's in another part of the world, he signed up for the job and it means he has to be gone when they say, it is a dangerous job and mommy hopes every day that daddy will be safe, protecting other people can be a dangerous job, daddy took this job because he is a brave man and he wants to help people, let's spend time praying for/sending daddy good safe energy, etc. "

It seems to me like if a child senses and knows something anyhow the best thing to do is be honest so they know you're there for them, they can come to you, etc
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:07 PM   #19
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I do see the other thread now. Didn't mean to hijack this one, which is about the awesomeness of Santa getting your kids to behave :-) now back to regular programming.
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:07 PM   #20
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Re: The power of Santa...

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Really? Both my kids are fully aware of what he does for work and where he is. The 2.5 year old constantly asks why daddy is in Afghanistan and why he has to be there. The 4.5 year old knows even more. We live in an army town. Everyone's fathers are gone. They talk about it in school. It's a huge part of our lives so I would be more shocked if a 2.5 year old kid wasn't curious and asking questions. All mine does is ask questions. She also is always with me, so when I am talking to other adults and they ask questions, you can bet she's soaking it all up. If your husband was gone for 8 months your 2 year old wouldn't be asking questions?
honestly if my DH was gone for 8 months im pretty sure DD would forget who he even was. i must have very unsophisticated children, even my 7 year old has never asked me what i do for work lol

in your case i dont know why you have to lie though. he's overseas doing a job and that's what i would tell the kids. IMO omitting something isnt lying
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