Pregnancy After Loss (October 1-15)

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by emeyer76 Sorry to be Debbie Downer over here. I'll go disappear back in my crabby hermit hideaway and check back in when I can be pleasant and not such a party pooper. Really, I was in a great mood at the start of the week, but I am totally TGIF right now so I can be done with this week!!! (PS: if you actually read this far, thanks for listening.... I feel better getting that out!)

No worries. I think we all have felt like that from time to time. I felt like it constantly through the worst of the m/s - when I'm laying on the couch unable to care for my family, with Elli I could think "it'll all be worth it", but this time I couldn't think that.

for seeing baby, though, even if you didn't get a peek at gender!

Originally Posted by happymama1 We all have days like that...I'm totally with you on the TGIF thing....my complaint for today is that my in-laws are coming for the weekend, and I've been feeling too tired/busy to clean, but they get here tonight....so I gotta keep working away at it (even though I just want to take a nap!!!)

My FIL will be here with the moving truck tomorrow and we're going to help unload the truck But I'm not upset about having them near!
I am a bit worried cuz it looked like this just a few minutes ago outside...

It's way too early for snow, IMO!!!

[Harmony96]

Today is our Walk to Remember. 1280 people have signed up to remember 320 lost babies.

[myblessedbaby]

Originally Posted by emeyer76 In better news though.... we passed a milestone this week Our Marshall passed away or stopped growing at 15w3d - not sure which because we didn't find out until 19w5d when I started spotting. But we're officially past that date and still have a heart beat and a squirmy baby in there (and I know this because I obnoxiously demanded an u/s after telling him I listen to the doppler every day - I want to SEE!). I hope I start to relax a bit more, but this week I'm just feeling pessimistic and nervous that something could change in an instant.

I think it's normal to feel as you do when nearing/passing a milestone. Feel free to vent away in here. This whole pregnancy after loss thing is scary. It's hard to relax and enjoy the pregnancy journey when we've experienced all the 'what ifs' that other mamas wonder about. For us it's reality. Just take it one day at a time.

Originally Posted by happymama1 my complaint for today is that my in-laws are coming for the weekend, and I've been feeling too tired/busy to clean, but they get here tonight....so I gotta keep working away at it (even though I just want to take a nap!!!)

I don't have any guests coming, but I finally got up the energy to clean the down stairs this past week. Upstairs will have to wait. Took everything I had to vaccuum and mop the downstairs. Enjoy the visit with the in-laws.

Originally Posted by Harmony96 Today is our Walk to Remember. 1280 people have signed up to remember 320 lost babies.

That's a great turnout! There isn't a walk anywhere near me.

AFM: I've been feeling fine. Taking a nap everyday, a little feeling of fullness or something in my belly area. My confidence is starting to waiver as it always does when I get close to a doc appt. My first u/s is on Thursday. I keep telling myself that this is the pregnancy that sticks, but the fear is starting to creep in. I'll be better after the u/s.

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by Harmony96 Today is our Walk to Remember. 1280 people have signed up to remember 320 lost babies.

Originally Posted by myblessedbaby AFM: I've been feeling fine. Taking a nap everyday, a little feeling of fullness or something in my belly area. My confidence is starting to waiver as it always does when I get close to a doc appt. My first u/s is on Thursday. I keep telling myself that this is the pregnancy that sticks, but the fear is starting to creep in. I'll be better after the u/s.

Like you said yourself, totally normal feelings. for a wonderful appt and a happy wee bean in there!!!

AFM: this morning. Oy. SO tired. BUT, it's all from getting DH's parents moved in and helping them unpack - so totally worth it! It wasn't maybe the most romantic way to spend our anniversary, but we've got lots more to come, and we'll get a chance in another couple weeks to get away for a night - can't wait!
Hopefully making it to church this morning, then over to their house for more unpacking and settling in. Tomorrow we're going over for Thanksgiving dinner, so we'll have to get things cleared and put away enough to manage that!

Yes, I am sorry I'm gushing about having my in laws near - but we've never had family this close and I'm so darn happy and excited, for us and for the kids.
Silly, but when this job offer came up for MIL right at the same time as I was late for AF, I just had this feeling - that she was going to get the job and they were going to be here, and that this baby was going to come but had just been waiting for the right time to have them here to help us through the pregnancy.

[emeyer76]

More bleeding today! This is just getting ridiculous and really scary now. I actually thought we were going to have our rainbow baby, but this is the 3rd big bleed and I'm only at 16 weeks. Actually I've bled more than 3 times, but they come in waves that last a few days or so, and this is the 3rd round. I knew from my last appointment on Friday that it was a possibility, but it just doesn't seem like a good sign I still have a good, strong heartbeat (seriously, thank God for my doppler, otherwise I would be a hysterical mess!), so I'm trying to be hopeful, but geezles, this isn't going to be easy is it?

Sorry, I just can't shake cranky old Debbie Downer this week and my IRL friends and family don't get it like you guys do... thanks

[RunawayBunny]

Originally Posted by emeyer76 More bleeding today! This is just getting ridiculous and really scary now. I actually thought we were going to have our rainbow baby, but this is the 3rd big bleed and I'm only at 16 weeks. Actually I've bled more than 3 times, but they come in waves that last a few days or so, and this is the 3rd round. I knew from my last appointment on Friday that it was a possibility, but it just doesn't seem like a good sign I still have a good, strong heartbeat (seriously, thank God for my doppler, otherwise I would be a hysterical mess!), so I'm trying to be hopeful, but geezles, this isn't going to be easy is it? Sorry, I just can't shake cranky old Debbie Downer this week and my IRL friends and family don't get it like you guys do... thanks

I haven't been following along lately so forgive me if you have talked about it, but does your doc have any idea whats causing the bleeding? My friend had a large amount if bleeding several times and spotting in between. They suspected an infection and once they treated her for it the bleeding did cease. I am sure its a pretty scary place to be.

[emeyer76]

Originally Posted by RunawayBunny I haven't been following along lately so forgive me if you have talked about it, but does your doc have any idea whats causing the bleeding? My friend had a large amount if bleeding several times and spotting in between. They suspected an infection and once they treated her for it the bleeding did cease. I am sure its a pretty scary place to be.

The first one was just a random SCH-type of thing, and these latest ones are related to a low-lying placenta. Last week I had a bajillion tests run for infections, yeast, etc, and all came back clear. It's most likely just a symptom of the placenta, and so far baby has looked good. I was just in on Friday for a regular check-up and everything was fine on u/s, so for now... it just is what it is

But thanks for the idea.... if this continues then I'll push for more aggressive testing. Some days I love my doc and I think they're doing everything they can to help.... but other days they're kinda like, well its too early to do much, so good luck and call me if it gets worse or you want to come in I feel like saying, I really NEVER want to come in, but until you start making house calls, I'll only be there when I am dire condition, thankyouverymuch!

[happymama1]

I'm sorry you've been having so much bleeding! I can't imagine how scary that must be...

I hope that this just turns out to be one of those flukey, benign things that "happens in pregnancy" sometimes. It really could be related to your placenta....

praying that the bleeding stops, and doesn't return, and that the rest of this pregnancy just zooms by for you.

really, I'm just praying it zooms by for all of us in many ways. A fastforward button would be nice

[emeyer76]

Originally Posted by happymama1 A fastforward button would be nice

Thanks mama, I appreciate the prayers!

If you find that fastforward button, please send it on over? Along with a clean-the-house-to-get-ready-for-a-newbie button? Thanks!

[quicksilverNHS]

Hey all. Round ligament pains like crazy over here...in fact I think I pulled one of those trying to keep my 3 year old from pulling my glasses off my face while I was laying on the couch. Ugh!

And I really hate this progesterone. Its MORE than worth it if I get a baby out of this, but the pink discharge (my pill is pink) and gushing discharge is driving me nuts. Gonna have to start wearing a pantiliner---and I get HORRIBLE diaper rash.

Guess I need to invest in a little mama-cloth. I use a Diva Cup normally, so I hadn't planned on using any mama-cloth until after birth, but this is RIDICULOUS!