WWYD: needing advice

[Kissed by the Moon]

Today we went to a town about 45 minutes away where they have apple orchards, etc. Dh's 2 sis's and family wanted to come from out of town. The two sisters were going to drive separately and then combine cars in the town due to lack of parking closer to the orchards (about 15 min. from town). We found a bank and decided it would be a good place since they are closed. We went on with the day and we left our separate ways.

Well just got a call that her car had been towed because the bank lot was being tarred and the cost is $400. No signs that they would be tarring anywhere and I wasn't paying attention to the regular signs as we came in.

She is livid because she doesn't have the money in her account to pay and is holding us responsible, saying we should pay for some.

My take is that she is a grown woman and if she didn't feel comfortable parking there, she shouldn't have. However, maybe that's just me. I wanted to find out some opinions to make more of a rational response when she asks us for money.

[KelseyH]

Originally Posted by Kissed by the Moon My take is that she is a grown woman and if she didn't feel comfortable parking there, she shouldn't have. However, maybe that's just me. I wanted to find out some opinions to make more of a rational response when she asks us for money.

Yes! Psh, people can be so ridiculous sometimes!!
She's an adult, it's HER car, and she parked it. You didn't borrow it, park it yourself, or order her where to park it. Her car, her towing bill, HER responsibility to park in a public lot or be aware of signage.

It sucks that it's several hundred dollars, but oh well. I don't know about you, but I don't have that kind of money to throw at other people's responsibilities.

[eco-mum]

Omg, lol! No way is it your fault in any way. You should not need to pay any part of that ticket for her. Put yourself in her shoes, would you demand she pay for some of YOUR ticket? That's just absolutely ridiculous.

[my2sweets]

If there werent any signs then how on earth were you suppose to know? And if there were signs she missed them too...And to top it off she didnt feel comfy with the idea yet did it anyway? Yeah, not your problem.

[Mom2Connor]

I wouldn't pay her a dime and I wouldn't invite her anywhere anymore either! On another note, if the lot was open with no signs posted, she should fight the tow.

[Kissed by the Moon]

Originally Posted by Mom2Connor I wouldn't pay her a dime and I wouldn't invite her anywhere anymore either! On another note, if the lot was open with no signs posted, she should fight the tow.

Just found out she managed to get it down to $300 because there were no signs about the tarring.

And I'm glad it's not just me. Don't get me wrong, I feel terrible- that's a lot of money to be out unexpectedly, but I think she's just looking for someone to take the blame and direct her anger towards.

[Nagshead]

Tell her she's nuts lol!!

[eileprose]

There is one question you should ask yourself, what do you value more the money or the relationship?

You don't owe her a dime, like everyone is saying she is an adult. But she is your family, is this going to cause a riff that you will regret? Can you afford to partially pay some of the fine to avoid the riff?

If you can't afford it or you think this will blow over then stand your ground, if not chip in, mend the fence and move forward.

[CarrieMF]

If there were no signs posted she should be able to fight the entire tow bill, not just $100 off.

[Kissed by the Moon]

Originally Posted by eileprose There is one question you should ask yourself, what do you value more the money or the relationship? You don't owe her a dime, like everyone is saying she is an adult. But she is your family, is this going to cause a riff that you will regret? Can you afford to partially pay some of the fine to avoid the riff? If you can't afford it or you think this will blow over then stand your ground, if not chip in, mend the fence and move forward.

That's a very valid point. Here's the issue that I have though...they are terrible with their spending. They buy toys, go on trips they can't afford, etc., so when an emergency like this happens they are SOL. Us on the other hand live very modestly and don't have "toys", but we always make sure we have enough to deal with an emergency. So it probably bothers me more to have to shell out $ for something I don't think I should pay when the main reason she's so upset is because she can't afford this..does that make sense?

But you are right. I guess maybe I should just suck it up and give her $50 or so and call it good, move on with my life. I know though if the same ever happened to us, I'd never ask her to pay and if I did she'd say the same thing I am thinking...that ultimately it's my responsibility for parking there.