Question for the Non-Santa Crew

[ajane]

Originally Posted by RainandRedemption For me it's not so much about getting credit for the presents... it's just that I don't understand telling my kids a big fabricated story about where the presents came from. I'm big on telling my kids the facts, and answering questions as thoroughly and honestly as I know how. Like I said i nthe other thread, I believe that there is enough magic in real life, I don't think we need to go looking for pretend magic to indulge in. Also, with Santa, the magic dies as they grow older. I want my kids to find the magic in life that continues past childhood and never dies. I DO like pretend, and games, and such. I don't like the "story" or "game" of Santa so much because to me it seems like the Santa thing is more about commercialism than the magic. Why is the promise of STUFF a valid reward for "good" behavior. And how can you say the behavior is GOOD anyway when it's only driven by fear of being left out of the fun on Christmas morning? While that isn't true for every family, it is for mine. "We'll, if you're acting like that maybe Santa won't come" or "uh oh do I need to make a call to santa?" or "I hope Santa's not watching". This type of manipulation and more I heard while growing up from family members. When my kids hear this I don't want them to feel all the things I felt then. I want them to raise an eyebrow and say...... "are you serious?"

I completely disagree with the first paragraph. I have always felt the Christmas magic and never felt "let down." You can still tell your children facts, but let them be kids with an imagination around Christmas time.

And, the last 2 paragraph's since they are related, are from movies. I'm pretty sure most people do not do that with their kids. Maybe older generations. My parents never did that, my dh's parents didn't, and neither do we.

Originally Posted by Lousli I would think that the reasons for wanting children to know where the gifts came from might vary, but I think it is important for children to understand that the gifts are not limitless and easily replaceable and they should value what they get and show gratitude. I remember when I was younger I dated a guy for a while and he had much younger half siblings. We went to his dad's house for Christmas and they got the most presents I have ever seen in my life. It looked like a Toys R Us in their living room. And still the kids were saying things like, "I didn't put this on my list. This isn't the one I wanted!" and didn't say thank you or seem very excited about any of it. It made me really sad. And if I was the parent, I think I would have been disappointed and frustrated that my efforts were so unappreciated. I would imagine that if the children knew where the presents came from, they would have been more polite about it. Since Santa wasn't there in the room, they didn't have to worry about offending him, right?

To the bolded....my kids do understand that the gifts are not limitless. That from their list Santa chose a select few to bring them. They also konw they aren't easily replaceable since they are from Santa. Even though they see the same thing in the store, it isn't FROM SANTA.

To the rest, they just sound like ungrateful kids who wouldn't be happy with anything. It has nothing to do with Santa.

Originally Posted by Terra At first I wanted to credit because I wanted my boys to understand how hard we work and to be grateful. After my son said that he believed and I began re-evaluating I realized that for me personally, I like to give gifts with no strings attached and I kind of felt like it was attaching strings when I would go out of my way to let them know they were from us and we worked hard. Then I realized I could still teach gratefulness and value [both monetarily and other ways] with out having to say 'those are from me'.]

AGREE!

Originally Posted by Geckmumto3 I disagree. I think ungrateful kids will be ungrateful no matter what, regardless of Santa. I have seen some kids be incredibly rude and ungrateful about gifts when the giver is sitting right next to them.