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Old 10-07-2012, 09:38 PM   #31
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

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Originally Posted by RainandRedemption View Post
For me it's not so much about getting credit for the presents... it's just that I don't understand telling my kids a big fabricated story about where the presents came from. I'm big on telling my kids the facts, and answering questions as thoroughly and honestly as I know how. Like I said i nthe other thread, I believe that there is enough magic in real life, I don't think we need to go looking for pretend magic to indulge in. Also, with Santa, the magic dies as they grow older. I want my kids to find the magic in life that continues past childhood and never dies.

I DO like pretend, and games, and such. I don't like the "story" or "game" of Santa so much because to me it seems like the Santa thing is more about commercialism than the magic. Why is the promise of STUFF a valid reward for "good" behavior. And how can you say the behavior is GOOD anyway when it's only driven by fear of being left out of the fun on Christmas morning?

While that isn't true for every family, it is for mine. "We'll, if you're acting like that maybe Santa won't come" or "uh oh do I need to make a call to santa?" or "I hope Santa's not watching". This type of manipulation and more I heard while growing up from family members. When my kids hear this I don't want them to feel all the things I felt then. I want them to raise an eyebrow and say...... "are you serious?"
I completely disagree with the first paragraph. I have always felt the Christmas magic and never felt "let down." You can still tell your children facts, but let them be kids with an imagination around Christmas time.

And, the last 2 paragraph's since they are related, are from movies. I'm pretty sure most people do not do that with their kids. Maybe older generations. My parents never did that, my dh's parents didn't, and neither do we.

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Originally Posted by Lousli View Post
I would think that the reasons for wanting children to know where the gifts came from might vary, but I think it is important for children to understand that the gifts are not limitless and easily replaceable and they should value what they get and show gratitude. I remember when I was younger I dated a guy for a while and he had much younger half siblings. We went to his dad's house for Christmas and they got the most presents I have ever seen in my life. It looked like a Toys R Us in their living room. And still the kids were saying things like, "I didn't put this on my list. This isn't the one I wanted!" and didn't say thank you or seem very excited about any of it. It made me really sad. And if I was the parent, I think I would have been disappointed and frustrated that my efforts were so unappreciated. I would imagine that if the children knew where the presents came from, they would have been more polite about it. Since Santa wasn't there in the room, they didn't have to worry about offending him, right?
To the bolded....my kids do understand that the gifts are not limitless. That from their list Santa chose a select few to bring them. They also konw they aren't easily replaceable since they are from Santa. Even though they see the same thing in the store, it isn't FROM SANTA.

To the rest, they just sound like ungrateful kids who wouldn't be happy with anything. It has nothing to do with Santa.

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At first I wanted to credit because I wanted my boys to understand how hard we work and to be grateful. After my son said that he believed and I began re-evaluating I realized that for me personally, I like to give gifts with no strings attached and I kind of felt like it was attaching strings when I would go out of my way to let them know they were from us and we worked hard. Then I realized I could still teach gratefulness and value [both monetarily and other ways] with out having to say 'those are from me'.]
AGREE!

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Originally Posted by Geckmumto3 View Post
I disagree. I think ungrateful kids will be ungrateful no matter what, regardless of Santa. I have seen some kids be incredibly rude and ungrateful about gifts when the giver is sitting right next to them.

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Old 10-08-2012, 05:57 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by ajane

I completely disagree with the first paragraph. I have always felt the Christmas magic and never felt "let down." You can still tell your children facts, but let them be kids with an imagination around Christmas time.

And, the last 2 paragraph's since they are related, are from movies. I'm pretty sure most people do not do that with their kids. Maybe older generations. My parents never did that, my dh's parents didn't, and neither do we.

To the bolded....my kids do understand that the gifts are not limitless. That from their list Santa chose a select few to bring them. They also konw they aren't easily replaceable since they are from Santa. Even though they see the same thing in the store, it isn't FROM SANTA.

To the rest, they just sound like ungrateful kids who wouldn't be happy with anything. It has nothing to do with Santa.

AGREE!

Maybe you've never known anyone who uses Santa that way. My family is that way , my grandma said stuff like that all the time. So, no. Not from movies.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:05 AM   #33
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

We do Santa in our house, but I will say that NONE of the gifts under the tree say who they are from. Anything from Santa is not wrapped and is put together...everything from Mom/Dad, Siblings, Grandparents, or any other Relatives is just wrapped in the child's specific paper(we coordinate by paper since the oldest is just starting to read, rather than use tags). After Christmas, we call relatives and the kids tell them thank you for the present(s)....they never know which gift came from whom.

For us it is more about the kids enjoying what they got, than them comparing well this person got me "all of this" and this person "only got me this". We want them to appreciate whatever they get and not compare, to the best of our ability....we also are beginning to limit gifts this year because they just have too much stuff.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:05 AM   #34
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

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Last edited by foggierbard9; 10-08-2012 at 06:06 AM. Reason: double post
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:11 AM   #35
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Haven't read any of the comments, but we are middle-ground with Santa. We talk about him as a fun holiday character, like rudolph or frosty. I have no problem with having Santa toys or decorations and we love reading The Night Before Christmas, singing songs about Santa, etc. We could even write letters to Santa, I am fine with that. Heck, we might do Elf on the Shelf if I find a cheap one. But my kids know that Santa is not real and that the gifts come from us. There are several reasons, the first being that I don't want Santa to take over the place that Jesus should have in the holiday. The other reason is that I just am not comfortable with telling them something that isn't true. I realized that when I was a nanny and the little girls asked me questions about Santa. I was very uncomfortable to have to tell any half-truths to her, because she had learned to trust me. So I knew way before I had kids that we would never "do Santa" to the full extent that some do.

As far as wanting the kids to know the gifts come from us, I get this too. My perspective on this is that, first of all, there is a huge disparity in gifts between children. HUGE. Should my kids think that they are getting $50 worth of gifts when a friend is getting $500, is it because the friend was more "good" all year? I think kids can grasp the concept of priorities, finances, and circumstances better than trying to wrap their head's around the concept that Santa isn't fair.

The second reason is, I think it's important for children to realize that our providing for them is a labor of love. DH works very, very hard for the money to provide for their needs and many wants. I work very, very hard to give them a nice life at home and to make the holiday special. It's not so much that I want to get "credit" more that I want them to have the gift of feeling how much they are loved at a special time of year. For me, I think gifts are a primary love language of mine so it's important for me to be able to express love that way.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:17 AM   #36
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

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Originally Posted by Geckmumto3 View Post
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Why is it important to you, as a parent, to get the credit for the presents?
This has nothing at all to do with why my husband and I don't teach "Santa Clause". We will teach the STORY of St. Nick and my kid watched Christmas cartoons. But, we teach the true meaning of celebrating Christmas and that is the birth of Jesus Christ. We teach that Christmas is a birthday party that we all get to celebrate with Him. Every member of the family exchanges gifts with every other member, its not all about "mom & dad".
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:26 AM   #37
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

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Haven't read any of the comments, but we are middle-ground with Santa. We talk about him as a fun holiday character, like rudolph or frosty. I have no problem with having Santa toys or decorations and we love reading The Night Before Christmas, singing songs about Santa, etc. We could even write letters to Santa, I am fine with that. Heck, we might do Elf on the Shelf if I find a cheap one. But my kids know that Santa is not real and that the gifts come from us. There are several reasons, the first being that I don't want Santa to take over the place that Jesus should have in the holiday. The other reason is that I just am not comfortable with telling them something that isn't true. I realized that when I was a nanny and the little girls asked me questions about Santa. I was very uncomfortable to have to tell any half-truths to her, because she had learned to trust me. So I knew way before I had kids that we would never "do Santa" to the full extent that some do.

As far as wanting the kids to know the gifts come from us, I get this too. My perspective on this is that, first of all, there is a huge disparity in gifts between children. HUGE. Should my kids think that they are getting $50 worth of gifts when a friend is getting $500, is it because the friend was more "good" all year? I think kids can grasp the concept of priorities, finances, and circumstances better than trying to wrap their head's around the concept that Santa isn't fair.

The second reason is, I think it's important for children to realize that our providing for them is a labor of love. DH works very, very hard for the money to provide for their needs and many wants. I work very, very hard to give them a nice life at home and to make the holiday special. It's not so much that I want to get "credit" more that I want them to have the gift of feeling how much they are loved at a special time of year. For me, I think gifts are a primary love language of mine so it's important for me to be able to express love that way.
1st bolded, just b/c you [general] "do" Santa, does NOT mean he will take the place of Jesus or become more important than him. He is just another aspect of the seasosn.

When our kids ask questions about Santa, we ask them what they think or what they believe. If they ask us if he is real we never say yes. We let them think about it and decide for themselves. If they ask how he can get to all the houses in one night we tell them about the different time zones, etc.

Just b/c we let them believe in Santa does NOT mean they don't have trust in us. We create trust by being very communicative with them, being there to listen to them, and not promising something we can't follow through with.

The last bolded, I don't think provided for them means they should feel it is a labor of love. You had them and wanted them, then you SHOULD provide for them in the absolut best possible way no matter what. Not b/c they need to realize it is a labor of love. We also work very hard providing for them and making the holiday's special, it has nothing to do with them believing in Santa. They can still believe and understand how hard we work for them. And, they def. feel the love around the holiday's.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:38 AM   #38
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

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1st bolded, just b/c you [general] "do" Santa, does NOT mean he will take the place of Jesus or become more important than him. He is just another aspect of the seasosn.

When our kids ask questions about Santa, we ask them what they think or what they believe. If they ask us if he is real we never say yes. We let them think about it and decide for themselves. If they ask how he can get to all the houses in one night we tell them about the different time zones, etc.

Just b/c we let them believe in Santa does NOT mean they don't have trust in us. We create trust by being very communicative with them, being there to listen to them, and not promising something we can't follow through with.

The last bolded, I don't think provided for them means they should feel it is a labor of love. You had them and wanted them, then you SHOULD provide for them in the absolut best possible way no matter what. Not b/c they need to realize it is a labor of love. We also work very hard providing for them and making the holiday's special, it has nothing to do with them believing in Santa. They can still believe and understand how hard we work for them. And, they def. feel the love around the holiday's.

Not sure why you are being so defensive, I was just answering the OP honestly with my reasons. I have no problem with people celebrating with Santa, it's just not what we choose to do and I gave my reasons as requested.
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:45 AM   #39
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

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And, the last 2 paragraph's since they are related, are from movies. I'm pretty sure most people do not do that with their kids. Maybe older generations. My parents never did that, my dh's parents didn't, and neither do we.
Perhaps you don't use Santa in that regard, but it's not just from movies. I think the "Power of Santa" thread proves that pretty well. Honestly though, I don't know why you seem determined to prove why your way is the best. This thread isn't about if santa is right or wrong, or if this or that will happen. It's about one reasoning of the non-santa crew. I don't think people in here are trying to say you're wrong if you do Santa, we're just stateing our personal reasons for why we don't.
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:34 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by Melaine

Not sure why you are being so defensive, I was just answering the OP honestly with my reasons. I have no problem with people celebrating with Santa, it's just not what we choose to do and I gave my reasons as requested.
I'm not defensive at all. I'm just showing how most of the reasons people don't incorporate Santa are really a moot point.

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Originally Posted by jen_batten

Perhaps you don't use Santa in that regard, but it's not just from movies. I think the "Power of Santa" thread proves that pretty well. Honestly though, I don't know why you seem determined to prove why your way is the best. This thread isn't about if santa is right or wrong, or if this or that will happen. It's about one reasoning of the non-santa crew. I don't think people in here are trying to say you're wrong if you do Santa, we're just stateing our personal reasons for why we don't.
I'm not trying to prove anything, just point out a lot of misconceptions that people who don't do Santa have.
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