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Old 10-02-2012, 03:38 PM   #11
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Oh yes she will send someone to pick him up from school (she lives an hour away)then Sunday someone meets my DH to exchange.
And of course again doesn't offer us the time even though its court ordered if one of us is going to be away from the child more than 8 hours the time is to be offered to the other parent .

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Old 10-06-2012, 09:35 AM   #12
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:40 AM   #13
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Around here, the every-other-weekend parent has to be the one there during the exchange, you can refuse to give the child over to a grandparent, etc.
I understand that may not be the best route, for me it would be important that my stepson have a good relationship with his siblings, too.
It stinks, and I would be really upset if my stepson's mom did that, but I think I'd just be supportive for my boy and ensure that we stay positive and not start the baby momma bashing (at least, not until I was sure he wad asleep. lol)
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:51 AM   #14
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Agree w PP, also how does he feel? When will he be old enough (per custodial agreement) to make his own decision as to spending x w his mom? Bc he's almost at that age and prob will want nothing to do w her
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:25 PM   #15
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In my area the age is 12, so probably pretty soon!
That's a really tough choice for a boy to make and I'd approach that subject very carefully - and there are also the other siblings who he may want to continue having a relationship regardless of how his mother treats him. I know my stepson would be devastated if anyone tried to take away his baby brother
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Old 10-06-2012, 01:14 PM   #16
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Is there anyway you can arrange for him to stay with you and dad if she won't be there anyway? XDH and I have a very fuzzy joint custody arrangement bc he works retail so hours change every week. I would love to have a schedule so I could better plan since he is terrible communicating and many times I won't know who's house the boys'll be at 2 days from now but then there would end up times where I'm sitting at home alone and they are with his gf bc he's at work and I feel like if I can't have them only he should.
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Old 10-06-2012, 02:37 PM   #17
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Re: Parenting Schedule question

it would depend.. if she was leaving him with his grandparents or even cousins that he really liked, I would not fight it (her loss).

but if he was going to some random home where there were no other kids or he was just being 'babysat', I'd take it to court to enforce the 'if you're not there, he stays with us'.

Relationships with other family members is good for him even if his mom isn't around. but just random caregivers is a waste of precious childhood time for you guys.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:54 PM   #18
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Re: Parenting Schedule question

Quote:
Originally Posted by GodLover View Post
Oh yes she will send someone to pick him up from school (she lives an hour away)then Sunday someone meets my DH to exchange.
And of course again doesn't offer us the time even though its court ordered if one of us is going to be away from the child more than 8 hours the time is to be offered to the other parent .
Since this is the case I would ask DSS if he wants to continue to go over there, even though rarely spending the time with her. If he does, I'd consider that his choice. If he doesn't I think you should bring it up with yout lawyer and see about taking her weekends away. Personally I don't think someone deserves weekend custody of a child just so they are there when the parent actually DOES want to see them. It's a perpetual let down She should have to refile when she's ready to actually spend the time with him. Poor guy.
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Old 10-09-2012, 09:46 AM   #19
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Re: Parenting Schedule question

He made the decision last time in court that he wanted to be with us more this is why we have him full time except the 2 weekends a month.
Obvisiuosly it is healthy for him to have a relationship with his mother and we would never take away that opportunity but how do you have a relationship with your child when you are not around to parent?
its such a touchy subject!
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