Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

[ajane]

Originally Posted by Fairycat I hate to agree but I do. I hope you find a happier balance Terra for yourself, cause this last version has been a big turn off, and doesn't feel like you are truely happy.

I kind of have to agree also. It just seems that you don't want to have a stand in what you believe in. Now, don't get me wrong.....I feel very strongly about things, but I also know there are some things that are completely another persons parenting choice and I will still be friends with them due to their choices. But, I'm not going to say I'm not going to "judge" them. For example, my sis in law whom I love dearly and get along great with will not extend rear face her children and circ'd her son. I do NOT agree with her choices in either, but I'm still going to hang out with her, be friends with her and I respect her choice in those matters, but I def. do not agree and inward cringe when I see her 1 1/2 year old forward facing.

[linz2491]

Originally Posted by Terra I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude.

Reverse circumcising a baby girl instead of a baby boy and that is how disgusted intactivists feel. would you consider circumcising (not 3rd/4th degree) a girl of any degree genital mutilation?

[TheoryofGravity]

I got a few remarks when I was pregnant with my first son. Other than that, no.

[Terra]

Originally Posted by Joyful Tie Dyes I have to agree. And Terra I have always liked you but this latest "non-judgmental" version of you just seems like you judge EVERYONE now instead of just some people. Seeing you post how "label-free" and perfect you are now in EVERY post you make is getting REALLY REALLY old. I find your posts now FAR more judgmental and preachy now than ever.

Originally Posted by Fairycat I hate to agree but I do. I hope you find a happier balance Terra for yourself, cause this last version has been a big turn off, and doesn't feel like you are truely happy.

Originally Posted by ajane I kind of have to agree also. It just seems that you don't want to have a stand in what you believe in. Now, don't get me wrong.....I feel very strongly about things, but I also know there are some things that are completely another persons parenting choice and I will still be friends with them due to their choices. But, I'm not going to say I'm not going to "judge" them. For example, my sis in law whom I love dearly and get along great with will not extend rear face her children and circ'd her son. I do NOT agree with her choices in either, but I'm still going to hang out with her, be friends with her and I respect her choice in those matters, but I def. do not agree and inward cringe when I see her 1 1/2 year old forward facing.

Well, I'm sorry you all feel that way. Because I'm totally happy. I've just had my eyes opened in life in general and I understand that you gals are not going to see it differently as well.

I absolutely stand for what I believe in. I just happen to have re-evaulated again and I think circumcision is not a huge issue [to me IMO]. Heck I used to think people who CIO in ANY degree were abusive until I was faced with some things AND had some wonderful friends who did it and I realized nope, not abuse.

I feel very strongly about breastfeeding and extended breastfeeding [especially since I did it until my son self-weanted at 3]. BUT I've re-evaluated and feel it would be wrong of me to now say "I think every one should be forced to try for 6 weeks, and they should ban all formula bags, and they should only give out formula by prescription.

I feel strongly about the family bed and we did it until both boys transitioned on their own. However, after re-evaluating I see it really doesn't work for all people, and especially now being back at work full time I don't know if I could go back and do that again.

Basically I've just learned to each their own.

TBH maybe you gals don't like the new me because I'm not longer the stand up and hit people over the head person that I once was? I don't know of course, but say I seem not happy, well that's just silly.
And yeah, I admit, I'm pretty judgmental still, mainly against judgmental moms who refuse to live and let live. I guess if we're all allowed to be judgmental that will be my latest Who knows about the future though
It all reminds me of a quote that I read:

"When people say you've changed. What they really mean is you've stopped living your life, their way."

[Terra]

Originally Posted by linz2491 Reverse circumcising a baby girl instead of a baby boy and that is how disgusted intactivists feel. would you consider circumcising (not 3rd/4th degree) a girl of any degree genital mutilation?

I think it goes back to what Kilki said in the other s/o post. To be honest, I just don't care either way. I like that my second son is intact, but my first son is not but it doesn't really bother me anymore. I'm not going to tell someone either IRL or online that they have mutilated or abused their child. If it were a socially acceptable thing, I don't know. This is just not a battle ground issue for me anymore.

[sandhillcranes]

Originally Posted by Terra Well, I'm sorry you all feel that way. Because I'm totally happy. I've just had my eyes opened in life in general and I understand that you gals are not going to see it differently as well. I absolutely stand for what I believe in. I just happen to have re-evaulated again and I think circumcision is not a huge issue [to me IMO]. Heck I used to think people who CIO in ANY degree were abusive until I was faced with some things AND had some wonderful friends who did it and I realized nope, not abuse. I feel very strongly about breastfeeding and extended breastfeeding [especially since I did it until my son self-weanted at 3]. BUT I've re-evaluated and feel it would be wrong of me to now say "I think every one should be forced to try for 6 weeks, and they should ban all formula bags, and they should only give out formula by prescription. I feel strongly about the family bed and we did it until both boys transitioned on their own. However, after re-evaluating I see it really doesn't work for all people, and especially now being back at work full time I don't know if I could go back and do that again. Basically I've just learned to each their own. TBH maybe you gals don't like the new me because I'm not longer the stand up and hit people over the head person that I once was? I don't know of course, but say I seem not happy, well that's just silly. And yeah, I admit, I'm pretty judgmental still, mainly against judgmental moms who refuse to live and let live. I guess if we're all allowed to be judgmental that will be my latest Who knows about the future though It all reminds me of a quote that I read: "When people say you've changed. What they really mean is you've stopped living your life, their way."

Love it.

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[harmoni247]

Terra, I don't think your philosophy is what rubs people the wrong way. It's the "I used to be just like you but now I've seen the light" way you say it. You don't need to give your past out to make your point. It makes it seem like you are trying to imply you have evolved out of their way of thinking onto a higher level. I understand exactly what your philosophy is and I've become more and more and more like this in my current stage of life. We are really very similar in this stage. But it doesn't mean I'm more evolved than those who have firm judgements and are active in the spreading of information. It only means we are at different stages of our lives and we'll all change and evolve in MANY different directions before we die. The thing about evolving is that it doesn't happen on a ladder....you don't evolve to the next step and become a better person, you evolve sporadically in all different directions to adapt to the social environment that is currently around you, and the variety of those experiences is what makes us better people. It takes all kinds of people at all different stages to make the world go round.

[Terra]

Originally Posted by harmoni247 Terra, I don't think your philosophy is what rubs people the wrong way. It's the "I used to be just like you but now I've seen the light" way you say it. You don't need to give your past out to make your point. It makes it seem like you are trying to imply you have evolved out of their way of thinking onto a higher level. I understand exactly what your philosophy is and I've become more and more and more like this as I live. That doesn't mean I'm more evolved that those who have firm judgements and active in the spreading of informations. It means we are at different stages of our lives and we'll all change and evolve in MANY different directions before we die. The thing about evolving is that it doesn't happen on a ladder....you don't evolve to the next step and become a better person, you evolve sporadically in all different directions to adapt to the social environment that is currently around you. It takes all kinds of people at all different stages to make the world go round.

Ahhh, I got ya. Yeah, I guess I just share so those that may not know me, would know the back story.

But lots of people who decide to keep their sons intact [like I did], share as well. I just kind of think people *may* be saying this about me only because I've decided to not let it be a big issue anymore. And being a public forum, it's all about sharing

I think you're bolded though is the crux and I agree totally. I feel like sometimes that these kinds of threads and similar [like CIO, spanking, etc] hold the connotation that if one DOES do it the AP/crunchy way, they *are* better. Thus the whole it should be a crime thing and it's abuse and mutilation. That too states that 'our way is better' IMO anyway! Thank you Harmoni, I have always liked talking/debating with you!

[Fairycat]

Originally Posted by harmoni247 Terra, I don't think your philosophy is what rubs people the wrong way. It's the "I used to be just like you but now I've seen the light" way you say it. You don't need to give your past out to make your point. It makes it seem like you are trying to imply you have evolved out of their way of thinking onto a higher level. I understand exactly what your philosophy is and I've become more and more and more like this in my current stage of life. We are really very similar in this stage. But it doesn't mean I'm more evolved than those who have firm judgements and are active in the spreading of information. It only means we are at different stages of our lives and we'll all change and evolve in MANY different directions before we die. The thing about evolving is that it doesn't happen on a ladder....you don't evolve to the next step and become a better person, you evolve sporadically in all different directions to adapt to the social environment that is currently around you, and the variety of those experiences is what makes us better people. It takes all kinds of people at all different stages to make the world go round.

[Terra]

Opps, I meant to add, that *some* [not all I realize] intactivist moms kind of do that too though. The whole "now that I know better, I do better". That to me says I've found a better way [And I say that in all honesty because I used to say that a lot! ] No granted, I do think there are some things that may be more beneficial over another, but don't think that one way is more right than the other. If that makes sense.