Lesson in futility or persistence?

[Shimpie]

20x a day might be overdoing it. It is a chore for a toddler to sit on the potty and then wash their hands.

In the first week I'd take DD every hour and she'd successfully pee once, maybe twice a day. Sometimes she wouldn't sit down. Sometimes, she'd sit down and do nothing. Sometimes, she sit down and hop right off. She'd wash her hands and then she'd have an accident while drying her hands. So frustrating! September was the longest, most frustrating month, EVER. However, my DD would light up and clap her hands with every sucessful pee. If your DD does that, she gets it. She just needs to learn to control it. She's still learning from every wet accident.

Don't feel like you have to be stuck at home. My DD won't use public toilets, so I take a little Bjorn potty with me everywhere. (Initially, DD wouldn't use it, but she finally got the hang of it.) It comes with us to the park. If we go anywhere in the car, DD pees in the potty in the back of the car. We've gotten up in the middle of dinner at a restaurant to go pee in the car. She pees in the car if we've gone grocery shopping and it's been an 1hour since she last went. I have a stack of prefolds in the back of the car, so I soak the pee from the potty and throw it in a wetbag. I have DD wear long tunic tops or dresses, so she's not exposing herself too much.

ETA: I carried a something like 5 changes of pants and underwear when we went out to eat two weeks ago. DD went through ALL of them. The following day we went out again and she stayed dry and used her potty just fine. Remember, she'll have good days and bad days.

[EmilytheStrange]

I've been trying to take her every half hour, but it doesn't seem to matter, she pees on the floor about 5 minutes after she gets off the potty. She's fine being on there and we read books which is what she'd want to do anyways.

You have so much more patience than me

Partly I feel like I'm the one failing her here.

But she does light up the few times she pees in the potty and we get all excited and she gets candy.

[Shimpie]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange You have so much more patience than me.

Hahahahaha hahahaha! I have very little patience. It sometimes took all my will power to not scream at DD. I once took a pair of wadded up wet underwear and pants and threw it against the bathroom wall. Only after DD walked out of the bathroom, of course. I nearly put DD back in diapers that one bad day we went out to eat and she went through all her changes of clothes. DH has said, "This isn't working," nearly every single day of this process. If he had his way, DD would have been back in diapers already.

I have very little patience. I'm just really tenacious, persistent, and good at nagging. "DD, it's time to go potty!" It really helps that daycare is on the same page with me. It's way more difficult when it's just you doing all the hard work.

[BeccaSueCongdon]

Part of learning to eliminate on the potty is leaning the ability to associate relaxing the pelvic floor when actually over the toilet. Keep working with her on making the actual sitting on the toilet as commonplace and "no big deal" as possible. If the diapers disappear she'll realize the pee and poop has to go somewhere, and the floor isn't where it goes.

It is so hard!! :-) ((hugs))

As much as you can, keep reminding yourself that this is a positive and fun transition. Kiddos sense our frustration and annoyance and the hiding behavior is because they're feeling the need to "hide" their elimination bc it's causing mommy/daddy so much distress.

What helped with our son was we actually quarantined him off in a "nakey zone" for the first few days of "boot camp" potty training. There was nowhere to hide, no diapers to sit in, no furniture to ruin. Just some hard floor, one little rug and a bunch of washable toys and tv. For better or worse, tv was super helpful for my kiddo bc it was the only thing he'd sit still for lo enough to relax and poop. Lol.

We kept our prefolds/flats around to sop up pee accidents and I used a pet accident enzyme cleaner (from petco) to spray on carpet when it got peed on. No stink or stain leftover and it's safe for kids and pets. And knowing that we had the tools to clean up accidents took all the pressure off.

It still took us months for my son to get through a full day without a pee accident. Some kids reallyget it right away. Others take a lot longer.

Potty training is not a race or a competition to see who "wins" or who the best parent is. So don't beat yourself up.

[EmilytheStrange]

thanks

I don't even mind the messes. I have a huge pile of prefolds and hardwood floors and a bottle of biokleen. And every night, I've been washing panties and prefolds and whatever else to fill up the washer.

it's now been almost 3 hours since she's peed. The kid just seems to be learning to hold it and I don't want her to get a UTI.

I put her on the potty at 5pm and I tickled her and all sorts of things to make her laugh, hoping that she'd relax and release.

I would feel so much better about the process if she'd just pee in the potty. Today we've had maybe 3 accidents, 0 potty catches and 1 wet naptime diaper. It's almost bedtime, that's not enough pee!

as for patience, I have actually been crazy patient over the last couple days. The only snapping I've done has been over some whining. The last time we tried this, I filled her with tons of liquids, it backfired and by the end of 2 hours, she would tantrum if I even brought a potty near her.

DH was surprised to still find her in panties when he got home because I texted earlier and was like 'I am done!!!', but I'm trying.. I really am.

I told him about the 5 outfits at dinner incident you had and he was like 'oh no, I do not want to deal with that'. You still win the persistence award.

It does feel like there's a ton of pressure to potty train. Guess what MIL bought DD for her birthday? Training pants and undies. Her 2nd comment after we told her we were pregnant (after the excitement) was something about how I need to get DD potty trained.

anyways.. that's a lot of venting.

thanks for the encouragement. I feel like something has to just 'click'. surely something will click. Other than 'wait for nighttime for a diaper'. Which, when I initially set out to learn about potty training, I intended to night train at the same time as day training, but we went through wet beds awhile back and had to get more absorbant night diapers and it was horrible.

[BeccaSueCongdon]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange thanks I don't even mind the messes. I have a huge pile of prefolds and hardwood floors and a bottle of biokleen. And every night, I've been washing panties and prefolds and whatever else to fill up the washer. it's now been almost 3 hours since she's peed. The kid just seems to be learning to hold it and I don't want her to get a UTI. I put her on the potty at 5pm and I tickled her and all sorts of things to make her laugh, hoping that she'd relax and release. I would feel so much better about the process if she'd just pee in the potty. Today we've had maybe 3 accidents, 0 potty catches and 1 wet naptime diaper. It's almost bedtime, that's not enough pee! as for patience, I have actually been crazy patient over the last couple days. The only snapping I've done has been over some whining. The last time we tried this, I filled her with tons of liquids, it backfired and by the end of 2 hours, she would tantrum if I even brought a potty near her. DH was surprised to still find her in panties when he got home because I texted earlier and was like 'I am done!!!', but I'm trying.. I really am. I told him about the 5 outfits at dinner incident you had and he was like 'oh no, I do not want to deal with that'. You still win the persistence award. It does feel like there's a ton of pressure to potty train. Guess what MIL bought DD for her birthday? Training pants and undies. Her 2nd comment after we told her we were pregnant (after the excitement) was something about how I need to get DD potty trained. anyways.. that's a lot of venting. thanks for the encouragement. I feel like something has to just 'click'. surely something will click. Other than 'wait for nighttime for a diaper'. Which, when I initially set out to learn about potty training, I intended to night train at the same time as day training, but we went through wet beds awhile back and had to get more absorbant night diapers and it was horrible.

((hugs))

Sounds like you're doing your best! Hang in there! Someday you'll be getting calls from her when she's potty training her daughter/son, and you'll have fantastic stories to tell her!

[EmilytheStrange]

Thanks, I need lots of hugs.