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Old 10-08-2012, 07:03 PM   #11
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

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Does your DD go to school or do you homeschool? My son is in 2nd grade this year and he is having a lot of issues at school.
We homeschool. She does have Bible class at church twice a week for 45 minutes, and her teachers haven't let me know of anything unusual there, but the class is small, only about 6-7 kids.

I wouldn't mind putting her in Tae Kwon Do or gymnastics or something like that, but we don't have the money for any extras.

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Old 10-09-2012, 12:25 AM   #12
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

I guess homeschooling is both good and bad -- good that you don't have to deal w/other kids and a teacher in a different classroom, bad that you don't get a break from your DD's difficult personality

If it were me, I would go ahead and find out so that you will at least know one way or the other. There are techniques, etc, to help you and a child with ADHD cope; maybe you will find something that's effective. I'm only just starting to learn about things we can do, but I find that using a timer helps my son stay on-task. I follow-up on him pretty regularly, and I think that if he knows I'm going to follow-up it helps. We have lots of charts for tracking his successes as well as tracking what he needs to do before he can have "free time". I really try to avoid getting overly angry at him now, it doesn't help at all. I try to avoid putting him into a situation that I know he won't be able to handle (even if a "normal" kid would be okay).

We actually had our first appointment w/the behavioral psychologist today, so she got a lot of information from me and our son. I asked her if it is generally outgrown and she said the "rule of thirds" applies; about 1/3 of kids seem to outgrow it and don't require any more special intervention (meds etc) around age 12/13, another 1/3 seem to be okay by the time they are out of high school, and then the last set has to deal with this their whole lives.

Maybe you can look at it as, rather than something negative, something that sets your child apart from the "average" child. There are a lot of really cool qualities that ADHD kids have; they can be really creative and exciting/fun to be around, they have a lot of energy, they are curious about things, they ask a lot of questions. As I understand it, the main problems are more of a socialization nature. I think that the way schools are, an ADHD kid can have a harder time learning b/c they need to be re-directed more than the class size allows. But she said that even in a small class or homeschool, sometimes the homework load can become so large/heavy that they can't focus long enough to get through all of it. She said that situation often manifests in 4th/5th/6th grade.

I'm not really sure if we would go the meds route, but I do know that the way my son gets into other kid's personal space, and his general antics, bother a lot of the kids. Sometimes at church they will come over and tell me what he was doing during the lesson

ETA -- your DH doesn't believe people can have mental problems? What do you believe? What does he think mental illness is? This is baffling to me
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Old 10-09-2012, 01:33 AM   #13
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We just spent our whole spring/summer pursuing a diagnosis for my son for his sensory difficulties. He just completed an intensive round of occupational therapy. It was a difficult road to travel, especially because sensory processing dysfunction is not recognized in the dsmv as it's own individual diagnosis. As my son's mom, I KNOW he has these challenges. And I deal with people on a daily basis who don't get it or don't believe in it or just don't take it seriously because his issues aren't visible on the outside (unless you happen to be around for a meltdown).

All of that to say, YOU know your DD. You are her mama, and you spend the most time with her. Whether your DH believes in mental health diagnoses or not, doesn't change the fact that there are clinically demonstrated treatments that make life better for these kiddos when they do get the help they need. For some that is medication. For some, it's not. My son hasn't ever been medicated for his SPD. I was/am on medication for my own ppd/PTSD (am actually nearing the phasing out stage), and up until the day I started taking the medication, I didn't believe in ppd either. :-). Giving the medication a chance to work was a last chance effort to prevent my symptoms from overwhelming me and causing me to commit suicide - which is seriously scary. PPD, ADHD, SPD, are all real chemical imbalances in the brain that are treatable. Some people are able to treat without medication, and some people need medication for a while before they can cope without it.

Anyways.

((hugs))

I remember the desperate feelings of "what the h is going on with my kid!?!?" when we were trying to identify my DS's issues. His OT was awesome at helping him develop the tools to recognize when he was getting overstimulated and overreacting and getting riled up. And we've been able to build a vocabulary around calming himself down. I'm sure there are services like that available to help you set goals for your DD and make life more bearable. ;-)
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Old 10-09-2012, 08:16 PM   #14
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

I looked through my other posts in this thread to make sure I hadn't mentioned it before, but I talked with DH tonight again about it (on the phone since he's out on his biweekly business trip), and he still maintains that "more attention" is all she needs, and that there's nothing else going on with her.
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Old 10-09-2012, 10:37 PM   #15
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

This sounds cranky, but what makes him the expert?

ETA --> i just noticed your siggy, congrats! How, exactly, are you going to have time to give her even MORE attention though? Have you tried methods like 1,2,3 Magic, Love and Logic, or anything like that? A book that has had lots of useful advice for me dealing with my 7 1/2 year old is called "Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child". Of all the parenting technique books I've read, Setting Limits has been the most effective and most helpful. It's not a cure, but if your DH insists that you can't do anything further, then you may want to read this and try some of what it suggests.
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Old 10-10-2012, 07:43 AM   #16
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

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This sounds cranky, but what makes him the expert?

ETA --> i just noticed your siggy, congrats! How, exactly, are you going to have time to give her even MORE attention though?
I know, right?
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Old 10-11-2012, 10:41 AM   #17
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

Have you read "Raising a Sensory Smart Child"? From what I have read there are MANY children mis-diagnosed with ADHD, when it could really be a sensory processing disorder. Also, the "Out of Sync Child", it is more clinical though, and not very "positive" as the other one is.

We use a small trampoline, or swings to get my little guy to a certain level of alertness before asking him to do any sit-down stuff. Works very well
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Old 10-13-2012, 03:01 PM   #18
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

I didn't read all of the responses, but wanted to share my experience. DS was diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD at the age of 4. We had been dealing with a lot of issues with him before then. I started questioning the ped. when DS was 2 and it irritated DH. He kept saying I was looking for something to be wrong with him. We finally got an evaluation from a psychologist and get the diagnosis of aspergers and ADHD and it took him a little while but he finally accepted it.

With the med DS is on he's a totally different kid. He still has plenty of energy and some days still very hyper, but when he doesn't have it it's chaos. Yesterday I forgot to run by the pharmacy after work for his prescription and we were out of the pills so this morning after we all got up and got dressed we headed to town to get them. Dropped the Rx off and tried to get some shopping done and wait in line to get DS's hair cut. It was a no go. He wouldn't quit touching things and when I finally made him sit in a buggy he kept standing up and jumping around. He yells alot and has lots of breakdowns.

Try picking up the book The Out of Sync Child. I read it before DS was diagnosed and a lot of it fit with him when I read descriptions of the kids stories.

Hope you find something that works. If you have any questions or wanna chat, feel free to PM me.
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Old 10-14-2012, 01:42 PM   #19
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

I saw the book suggestion "The Out of Sync Child" -- I haven't read this but will look for it, too, for my son. I am still not sure how we will handle things if he is diagnosed w/ADHD but at least we will know

This is an aside, but having a kid like my 7 1/2 year old son makes being in charge of other people's kids WAY easier! Today and for the next two weeks I'm doing the lesson at church for the 5-11 year olds, and it went really well today. Even the kids who caused "trouble" were really not much trouble LOL!
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Old 10-14-2012, 05:30 PM   #20
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Re: Thinking of getting DD evaluated for ADHD.

I can relate. My middle dd (9) has ADHD and SPD. She is a very unique, and difficult child. I love her to death, but she is very hard to deal with at times. I homeschooled her for two years and couldn't do it anymore. She needed more structure than I could give her. She goes to a very small private school and loves it. I also get a much needed break from her on a daily basis (M-F anyways!). She has been evaluated by more than one professional. I wouldn't take her to a regular ped. So many parents do that and get handed a prescription to "try". Definately get it checked out. Maybe if your Dh could go with you and talk to the psychologist, maybe he'd be more open to meds, if indeed your dd has it. My child is a totally different kid on her meds. I feel guilty having her on them, but it's not any different from an asthmatic needing an inhaler or a diabetic needing insulin. I hope you find the answers you are looking for!
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