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Old 10-11-2012, 11:41 AM   #91
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Re: Selfish with your baby

I agree with... that long post a few up

I really don't agree with the comments earlier in the thread about wanting someone else to hold my new baby so I can do housework or whatever I'd much rather that person do something to help out (wash dishes, wipe the table, bring a meal) than take my baby and expect me to get up and do those things. Plus, after someone helping out a bit, I would feel much more comfortable with visiting with them while they cuddled my baby. (only exception there is when I need to shower - mama needs to shower every now and again - and then I love for someone else to tend to baby so I can shower in peace!)

I think it really depends on the background and contributing factors, though, like in the other post. My mom and MIL are the type of women who want to do for me after a new baby comes - they like to tend to the older kids, make meals, vacuum and tidy up the kitchen for me, and they also love to have cuddles with their new grandbaby. But they've never withheld the babies from me, if baby needs me or I just need them back, kwim?

Someone above mentioned that we're not with lions in Africa - and while that is true, obviously, it's that same basic maternal instinct kicking in that can bring about the feeling of "my baby, all mine". No, it's not really necessary in western culture like it would be/have been elsewhere, but it's still an instinct not something you can really control. (by that I mean the feeling, not our behaviour or reaction to that feeling)


Momma to R (12), Z (10), I (8), L (4), P (2) & J (Apr 14, 2015)
remembering Elliana Lucy (2.7.12)
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Old 10-11-2012, 12:11 PM   #92
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Re: Selfish with your baby

I don't let smokers or sick ppl hold my newbies.

Other than that, I don't mind anyone that I personally know holding them, even when they are just a few days old.

I have a LOT of friends who can't have babies and really wish they could. I know it's hard for them to offer any kind of support at all to me. So when they come up to me beaming with happiness and tears in their eyes, coming to see my new baby, the first thing I say is ,"would you like to hold him/her?" And of course they do! And I try really hard not to take the baby back until they are ready to stop snuggling.

I also think adding a new life to a family is a family affair. But my family and I are VERY close. I love my dad so much, and he has held 2 of my 3 babies within hours of their births (the first one he was 5,000 miles away for), and he has rocked and snuggled them and watched them sleep on his chest.

I am so thankful when I have a baby that I can share that joy with other people who I love so much and who mean so much to me, and who have done so much to help me get to where I am today.

Sometimes I don't *WANT* to share the baby, but I know the baby will always wind up back in my arms, and in comparison, the time I get to spend with the baby will always be mountains more than anyone else.
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Old 10-11-2012, 08:05 PM   #93
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Re: Selfish with your baby

Absolutely normal. While I wanted my baby back, I did like how others got to enjoy them also. Who wouldn't want to hold a tiny, new squishy?
sahm to 3 little women and 1 little man who keep me extremely busy and take all of my time away from here!
I have LOTS of toys to sell....My Little Pony, Fisher Price ramp & speedway, Littlest Pet Shop, you name it I probably have it! PM me!
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Old 10-11-2012, 09:35 PM   #94
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Re: Selfish with your baby

Becca 25 wife to Ron 30 since 7/7/2009, momma to intact DS X born 1/15/2014
Soon to be TTC #2

Last edited by Firerose_RCM; 06-14-2013 at 12:06 PM.
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