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Old 10-09-2012, 09:07 PM   #141
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Ok but those mamas didnt say they questioned or regretted not circing. All they were saying was that people who dont understand the function of the foreskin made comments as to why someone wouldnt circ making them feel judged. Not sure whats confusing about that

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I didn't think they did regret or question themselves, and I am not confused. That feeling of judgement can go both ways is what I am saying. If two parties share different opinions and one is more vocal and/or rude about the other is likely to feel judged. I feel that some need to reevaluate they way they comment on the topic if they want to persuade others to even listen to their pov.

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Old 10-09-2012, 10:34 PM   #142
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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I know how to pick my battles. And in all honesty, I do feel the way I've chosen to do things are best, and that is why I do them. I know that I'm imperfect and strive to be a better person and mother daily. When it come to parenting issues, I do believe there are superior ways, but don't belittle those that choose different.
But, male genital mutilation, or what people in the US like to affectionately call routine infant circumcision, is NOT a parenting issue, it is a HUMAN RIGHTS issue.
I agree. I find it hard to keep my mouth shut to my pregnant friends about this one, because out of the three friends I've had that have had boys since I started researching this, they've ALL decided to circ anyway.

But I never tell them how sad this makes me. I don't feel bad for judging them, either.

I haven't felt judged one way or the other for leaving our son intact, probably because everyone knows the way that I am. I explained my reasons to my parents and they know that I research the heck out of everything, so no use in arguing. I don't know how they feel, other than that my mom was curious what my son's penis would look like because she had never seen one intact!
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Old 10-10-2012, 06:54 PM   #143
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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I agree with you about all those other parenting issues. Everyone is different. Circumstances are different and in the end, all that matters is that we love our kids and do our best. However, when it comes to circumcision I can't be neutral. I used to be. At first I figured it was just a parenting decision. The more I've read and the more I've researched, the more it bothers me. I mean, it's legal. People can do it if they want. But it's disturbing to me that as a society we think it's totally normal to cut off part of a child's genitals. And so while parents are allowed to make that choice for their child, I will continue to politely and respectfully talk about it in hopes of changing other people's opinions about circumcision.
Precisely. We can "agree to disagree" on parenting issues, but circumcision isn't a parenting issue, it is a human rights issue, and one I refuse to compromise on. Legal now, but I have faith one day we'll see that all change. In the mean time, I'll do everything in my power to speak for those that cannot speak for themselves, to advocate on behalf of baby boys everywhere to help save them from unspeakable pain and trauma only days after being born.
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Old 10-10-2012, 07:39 PM   #144
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You don't have to be neutral or complacent on order to not engage in mommy wars. I don't think people realize how combative they can sound when they're trying to educate. There ARE men that have decided to get circumcised, and I'm not sure they would think they've been mutilated. There are definitely things I'm passionate about, but like I said before, DS isn't my debate arena. And if your goal really is to have RIC outlawed, come up with a plan to do it... and go for it. But in the real world, you have to learn how to work WITH people. You can't just come out the gate screaming mutilation.

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Old 10-10-2012, 08:00 PM   #145
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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You don't have to be neutral or complacent on order to not engage in mommy wars. I don't think people realize how combative they can sound when they're trying to educate. There ARE men that have decided to get circumcised, and I'm not sure they would think they've been mutilated. There are definitely things I'm passionate about, but like I said before, DS isn't my debate arena. And if your goal really is to have RIC outlawed, come up with a plan to do it... and go for it. But in the real world, you have to learn how to work WITH people. You can't just come out the gate screaming mutilation.

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I don't use the word mutilate either because it's offensive. But I do want to point out that it's totally different when it's a consenting adult. If I put ear plugs and tattoos and a nose ring in my 2 year old, I'm sure many would consider that mutilation. But for an adult, they consider it self-expression.

I really don't have a problem with adult men choosing circumcision. Just like women can get boob reductions or labia tucks (or whatever they are called). That's fine with me. But I've often heard the excuse that circumcision is better on small babies because they won't remember it-- implying that scores of adult men are going to be choosing circumcision and wishing it had been done at birth. I'm sure there will be some, but the vast majority of men I'm betting will choose to keep their foreskins and be glad they were left intact to begin with.
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Old 10-10-2012, 08:07 PM   #146
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

Also, we refer to female circumcision as female genital mutilation. But if you talk to the women and mothers who are circumcised themselves and who are insisting their daughters be circumcised, they'd be offended at the word mutilation too. In some parts of Africa, if you're not circumcised it's very unlikely a woman can get married, as men want a guarantee their wife is a virgin. And so mothers, understanding the necessity of marriage in their culture, are doing what is best for their daughters. While I consider what they do "mutilation" you can't march into Africa and simply ban the practice either. You have to teach them why it's hurting their women and help them change their attitudes about sex and the freedom to choose.
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Old 10-10-2012, 08:29 PM   #147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertRat
Also, we refer to female circumcision as female genital mutilation. But if you talk to the women and mothers who are circumcised themselves and who are insisting their daughters be circumcised, they'd be offended at the word mutilation too. In some parts of Africa, if you're not circumcised it's very unlikely a woman can get married, as men want a guarantee their wife is a virgin. And so mothers, understanding the necessity of marriage in their culture, are doing what is best for their daughters. While I consider what they do "mutilation" you can't march into Africa and simply ban the practice either. You have to teach them why it's hurting their women and help them change their attitudes about sex and the freedom to choose.
Exactly. You'll get a lot more support for your beliefs if you aren't telling people they are mutilated or child abusers. It's a sensitive issue that could use a little more sensitivity. The shock factor, while fun on DS, just doesn't get you very far. No one really takes extremists that seriously.

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Old 10-10-2012, 10:19 PM   #148
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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Originally Posted by DesertRat View Post
Also, we refer to female circumcision as female genital mutilation. But if you talk to the women and mothers who are circumcised themselves and who are insisting their daughters be circumcised, they'd be offended at the word mutilation too. In some parts of Africa, if you're not circumcised it's very unlikely a woman can get married, as men want a guarantee their wife is a virgin. And so mothers, understanding the necessity of marriage in their culture, are doing what is best for their daughters. While I consider what they do "mutilation" you can't march into Africa and simply ban the practice either. You have to teach them why it's hurting their women and help them change their attitudes about sex and the freedom to choose.
Well, I was going to post again in this thread, but instead I'm just going to follow you around DesertRat and say . I love all of your posts on this thread and I can appreciate your (respectful) opinions.
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Old 10-11-2012, 05:51 PM   #149
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

nope. in the area where I live most of the boys around my son's age are intact. I don't have any friends who circed. Even a friend who is Jewish did not circ her boys.
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Old 10-11-2012, 06:34 PM   #150
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This is slightly OT but....My son's penis NEVER comes up in discussions. IRL or on the web. I actually find it odd that it is such a constant debate on this site. I dont feel comfortable talking about my own child's penis in such an open forum as the internet. I understand that some feel compelled to "save" others from circ. But to me, my son is a person. I wouldnt want my mom going online talking about my genitalia...so why would I divulge those facts about his anatomy? Idk. Guess its just me but I think once you put something on the net it's there forever and I just dont feel compelled to discuss private things so publicly. So many anti-circ'ing moms will remind those that circ how it is their son's skin and he should get to keep it. Well, if it is truly HIS, shouldnt he get to be the one to decide to discuss it? Just my 2cents of course. Everyone has their own opinion.

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