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Old 10-14-2012, 05:41 PM   #31
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Re: Give me insight please: Former spouses and parenting

Sorry she wouldn't pick them up

I still recommend going back to court to have everything spelled out, so this does not happen again

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Old 10-14-2012, 05:47 PM   #32
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I think, coming from a broken home...

Your husband needs everything reevaluated. You are growing resentful, and he bends to her every whim. I'm sorry, but it seems he is still under her control. Sometimes you gotta be the squeaky wheel. My mom was a single parent, my dad was the other weekend dad to my brother- yadada. We had 3 sets of families to deal with. Well 4 actually. None of them worked the way you describe. None of them ranked higher than others. Everyone split everything and pick ups/drop off were outlined in custody papers. Sounds to me like she needs someone to step and say, okay, we need a new plan.

And I'll be honest. My family is very very broken. My parents are each on their third marriages. I
Have 3 siblings and not one of us has the same two parents.. BUT at my wedding???? Every single person was there.

My brothers mother and her husband (we share a dad)

My older sisters dad and his wife (we share my mom) they also brought their two daughters

My younger sisters dad and his extended family (we share a mom)

It can still stay functional and friendly. But part of that was, people go everything in writing. Even down to who paid sports. Nothing was ever really an argument. And the kids really benefitted.
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Old 10-14-2012, 06:02 PM   #33
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Old 10-14-2012, 06:12 PM   #34
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Old 10-14-2012, 08:19 PM   #35
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Old 10-14-2012, 09:05 PM   #36
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OP, I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say its amazing how you are so thoughtful toward the ex wife and the kids. Even if they don't know it, you're a great person for putting so much thought and effort into keeping things civil and stable for the kids.

I am not a single mom, but my DH is in the army and has been deployed for 8 months. So I have of course been doing everything myself for those months. And I can say that if my kids were with, for example, a sitter, and it was my time to have them back, I would drop everything to get them. Yes, I understand wanting time to yourself to recharge. But to refuse to pick them up because she is brewing beer is outrageous. If I was in the middle of a massage, drinking wine and downing chocolate, I would drop all that and run of it meant being with my kids again. I don't care how tired I am or how much I would like a break..I would always choose to be with them. I realize that sounds judgmental and I am sorry. I just don't get it.
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