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Old 10-12-2012, 05:38 PM   #31
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And I had an episiotomy too... My daughter's head was a little larger and coming out her arm was bruised bc it was smashed against her face I'm praying next baby is different or easier

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Old 10-24-2012, 07:52 AM   #32
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With my first, I had convinced myself it was going to be horribly painful, and psyched myself up about it so much, that when the time came it was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. I almost had him at home and in the car from resisting the urge to push for hours, because I was so sure I couldn't possibly be at the end as it wasn't as horrible as I thought the end would be. Don't get me wrong, I thought I was dying. But I had a 1000x worse expectancy.

With my second. Omfg. It's a big part of why I'm done having kids. With my first, I waited so long that my body pushed on its own. I didn't have to push. So I didn't know how difficult pushing willingly was. On top of that, the midwife broke my water (didn't even ask or tell me), and part of the sac was stuck on my cervical lip, so she had to reach in and hold the lip up while I pushed to move it out of the way.

Let me just say, pushing a head out, while a hand is in, is the worst thing I've ever done. I pushed at least 30x with her hand in a loose fist position up in there, moving his head past her hand. It was like delivering a 2 headed baby.

Plus, since it wasn't as bad as I thought last time, I screwed myself this time by not mentally preparing at all.

So yeah, it was WAY worse than I anticipated. And I learned I suck at pushing. Woohoo!

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Old 10-24-2012, 09:33 AM   #33
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Re: Intensity of pushing

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Originally Posted by Hillargh View Post
With my first, I had convinced myself it was going to be horribly painful, and psyched myself up about it so much, that when the time came it was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. I almost had him at home and in the car from resisting the urge to push for hours, because I was so sure I couldn't possibly be at the end as it wasn't as horrible as I thought the end would be. Don't get me wrong, I thought I was dying. But I had a 1000x worse expectancy.

With my second. Omfg. It's a big part of why I'm done having kids. With my first, I waited so long that my body pushed on its own. I didn't have to push. So I didn't know how difficult pushing willingly was. On top of that, the midwife broke my water (didn't even ask or tell me), and part of the sac was stuck on my cervical lip, so she had to reach in and hold the lip up while I pushed to move it out of the way.


Let me just say, pushing a head out, while a hand is in, is the worst thing I've ever done. I pushed at least 30x with her hand in a loose fist position up in there, moving his head past her hand. It was like delivering a 2 headed baby.

Plus, since it wasn't as bad as I thought last time, I screwed myself this time by not mentally preparing at all.

So yeah, it was WAY worse than I anticipated. And I learned I suck at pushing. Woohoo!

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That sounds horrible and not normal! Sounds like you did just fine the first time; why did she have to interfere?! It just bothers me that these kinds of problems happen as a result of cervical exams and "help" that care providers think is necessary.
My second was born with a nuchal arm, I only pushed for about 10 minutes and my midwife was afraid that I had torn but nope!
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Old 10-24-2012, 11:52 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by songbird516

That sounds horrible and not normal! Sounds like you did just fine the first time; why did she have to interfere?! It just bothers me that these kinds of problems happen as a result of cervical exams and "help" that care providers think is necessary.
My second was born with a nuchal arm, I only pushed for about 10 minutes and my midwife was afraid that I had torn but nope!
I have no idea. I don't think I was even 10 when she broke it (came in at 8), and after she did it I immediately felt massively pushy. I wouldn't have agreed as it was unnecessary. I sent from 0 to 8 in 4hrs, hadn't stalled (mind you my first labor was 72hrs with no interventions), and with my first my water broke as his head delivered. She wasn't the same midwife I had last time. I don't care for her as much. She got angry at me even, when I screamed when she checked me, and acted like I was a wimp and it shouldn't hurt. I was having full body chills for over an hour at that point, all my muscles were tensed and sore, and it DID hurt as bad as pushing. Not a fan of her at all really. I ended up spending my entire labor there saying, "I'm sorry!" Over and over and apologizing for doing everything "wrong." :/

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Old 10-24-2012, 03:18 PM   #35
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Re: Intensity of pushing

I read most of this thread before I delivered this last baby. My others I had epi's.

Actually, I found pushing to be a huge relief. I have no clue why, but my body started involuntarily pushing at 8cms. Everyone thought I was at 10 because of the pushing. They called in the OB. I was in an odd position (standing straight up) and they couldn't check me well. When I finally agreed to a different position and they checked me, I was only 8 with an obvious anterior lip. The OB even left. (she had patients, literally 1 minute walk, 30 sec run away and was already running behind) It was a huge let down and I really did not understand why my body was pushing so hard if I wasn't actually ready to push him out. After refusing for most of my labor, I finally got in a different position (side lying on the bed from standing leaning over the ball which was on the bed) because they said I needed to get the pressure off that anterior lip for it to move. After moving, it only took a couple of minutes for me to be complete and know that pushing was real because I could finally feel his head coming down. (The OB barely made it back in time. ) Anyway, so when I realized I was pushing for real, it was intense, but I was SO utterly ready for it to be over. I was relieved to be pushing and knowing he was actually coming out now. Also, I distinctly remember thinking to myself that it didn't hurt nearly as much as I expected. I don't remember any "ring of fire." I just remember being very relieved it was about to be over. And, my baby was 9lbs 1oz, almost 2lbs bigger than the biggest of my other 5. Still, pushing wasn't nearly as bad as transition for me.
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:27 PM   #36
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Re: Intensity of pushing

transition was by far the most intense part for me! Pushing was a breeze in comparison. I started birthing at a birth center and had a hospital transfer b/c I regressed during transition so I did the actual delivery in a hospital. They made me start pushing as soon as I was 10 cm which I did NOT want to do b/c I felt no pushing urge. DH said I pushed for an hr or so (I dont remember b/c I was so out of it). But, as soon as the actual pushing urge kicked it, it was CAKE!!! My body took over and did all of the work. I pushed him out in maybe 5-10 mins....all 9lbs of him and didnt tear! :-)
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Old 10-29-2012, 02:10 PM   #37
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Re: Intensity of pushing

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Yep I just had my first unmedicated birth in May and I agree- everything I read did an awesome job of preparing me for labor but nothing prepared me for pushing. As soon as G was born I actually apologized to the mw for being a drama queen. I was a little embarassed by the way I handled it (not that I should have been but it was so out of character for me). It always makes me feel a little better to hear that other people had the same experience. I actually tried to run away and tell them that I wasn't going to do it. (haha I scooted back in the birthing tub as far as I could get). I'm hoping that whenever I have another baby I can be a little more in control. But like most others are saying- thank goodness it only lasted for a few pushes and then she was out! As intense as it was I will definitely do it again. The rest of it was so much better (labor and recovery).
LOL I did that too! DD was posterior so pushing was HORRIBLE - worst back pain I've ever felt - and took almost 2 hours. I screamed multiple times that I couldn't/wouldn't do it and jumped off the bed and away from her saying "I won't do it on my back!!!" My MW was so great, she just said "well where do you want to go?" and let me deliver squatting instead, which was way better. But I'll agree that pushing was WAY more intense than I thought it would be, although if it wasn't for the back pain I think it would have been fine. And the "ring of fire" was a huge relief because it hurt way less than my back and I knew it meant I was almost done!! With my older DD I had an epi so it was just the intense pressure that I felt, but it was done in like 15 minutes so I was surprised at how not-intense it all ended up being. I still prefer the intense med-free birth though! I felt so much better afterward.
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Old 10-29-2012, 02:15 PM   #38
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Re: Intensity of pushing

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Originally Posted by Hillargh View Post
With my first, I had convinced myself it was going to be horribly painful, and psyched myself up about it so much, that when the time came it was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. I almost had him at home and in the car from resisting the urge to push for hours, because I was so sure I couldn't possibly be at the end as it wasn't as horrible as I thought the end would be. Don't get me wrong, I thought I was dying. But I had a 1000x worse expectancy.

With my second. Omfg. It's a big part of why I'm done having kids. With my first, I waited so long that my body pushed on its own. I didn't have to push. So I didn't know how difficult pushing willingly was. On top of that, the midwife broke my water (didn't even ask or tell me), and part of the sac was stuck on my cervical lip, so she had to reach in and hold the lip up while I pushed to move it out of the way.

Let me just say, pushing a head out, while a hand is in, is the worst thing I've ever done. I pushed at least 30x with her hand in a loose fist position up in there, moving his head past her hand. It was like delivering a 2 headed baby.

Plus, since it wasn't as bad as I thought last time, I screwed myself this time by not mentally preparing at all.

So yeah, it was WAY worse than I anticipated. And I learned I suck at pushing. Woohoo!

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using DS Forum

This was me EXACTLY! Well, not the hand up there well pushing, but the fact that I didn't prepare because things went really well with DS1's birth. I was in pain, but it was never to the point of suffering. With DS2 the whole thing was about 4 hours but it was so, SO intense all I could do was ask when it would be over. The last hour all I did was scream. I felt ZERO urge to push, so finally I asked her to break my water (at 10cm) and he was literally born in like 15 seconds. I didn't even have to psychically push, my body did all the work. It was the most bizarre feeling. In a weird way, it felt totally unnatural.
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Old 10-31-2012, 11:01 AM   #39
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Re: Intensity of pushing

funny how different pushing is...i never even really got the urge to push...just started seeing hair and figured i would help a bit...lol...easiest part of labor for me...of course the other 29.5 hours really sucked though, that transition involved a lot of cursing. lol
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Old 10-31-2012, 11:04 AM   #40
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Yeah I felt like that with my second. For some reason the first was easier. I thought that I would be more "in control" with my second, but the sheer intensity of pushing with the second really freaked me out. Even looking back it makes me uncomfortable because I was so not in control. Fortunately it only lasted about 10 minutes, or 3 or 4 pushes. I can't imagine doing it longer than that!
Nice to know that I am not alone.
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