Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of October 22nd

[lalakiwi7]

Carissa- glad to know it went well. Still praying for you.

My SIL and her hubby were over for a bit tonight.... she is due a month before I would have been due with our sweet boy.... so hard. I normally can handle pregnant women well but she is so seemingly un-caring and acts like she doesn't even have time to think about being pregnant it's annoying. If ever I ask her a question she always says... oh I don't know, I don't think about it I am too busy!" IT's her first!! How are you that busy you don't work and you don't have kids!!!! ha Makes me feel a bit nutsy.
I triggered on Wednesday and we BD twice then and twice yesterday and my heart is trying so hard to be cautious but it's hard work!!!! It took us 18 months to conceive our first loss last year... another four to conceive our next and then another 8 after that... the waiting is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard. Every month not pregnant I feel like I am mourning the loss of the baby my heart hoped I was having. So hard to not feel so hurt and so much loss.... evening in just the trying I feel loss. If that makes sense?

Any way.... come on good news ladies.... hopefully November things will start to look up and we can all storm the 2013 DD with a furry!!!

[JCPACandMommy]

Got my second dose of methotrexate yesterday and feel like I've been run over by a truck! HCG is 11,000 down from 76,000 on Thursday! So it's coming down....have to get another drawn today and then follow up with Dr. This week or next!

[Love4leon]

Originally Posted by JCPACandMommy Got my second dose of methotrexate yesterday and feel like I've been run over by a truck! HCG is 11,000 down from 76,000 on Thursday! So it's coming down....have to get another drawn today and then follow up with Dr. This week or next!

Aww Carissa- I'm so sorry... I hope that you are getting plenty of rest and can take it easy through this. I am thinking of you!

[Hope4More]

I got my first negative test on a opk yesterday (hcg still reads slightly positive), so when the CBE fertility monitor told me to pee on a stick this morning (11 days post d&c), I did. It says I'm ovulating today. I think not...

I'm so ready for this cycle to be over. And as an unrelated but related side note, I've been spotting since October 9th, and finally stopped Saturday, but can't dtd until the 5th when I see the doc. OMG, its the longest 4 weeks of my LIFE. I just want some s*x.

ETA: and the actual opk today is a blaring positive. I give up this cycle. I'm just gonna take a bath in NPC in a week and start over...

[Hope4More]

Warning, my m/c baby is mentioned below:

So when I lost my baby last week, i was 8 weeks, but my baby was only 6 weeks when she grew wings. I was searching for jewelry on etsy, and came across a woman who will make a sculpture of the age of your angel baby so you can have a tangible reminder of your child. I know this is not for most, and some of you just shook your head and qualified me under crazy, but I bought the six week baby sculpture for five dollars.

It came today. The moment I saw it, all my sadness went away, and I was just amazed by LIFE! This baby inside me, who measured about 4 mm, had a beating heart, and a pancreas, and the beginning of the intestines and appendix. I am so amazed and, well, humbled as I look at this tiny tiny baby in my hand that I was able to be a part of that, even if it was for 8 short weeks. Even though my baby will never know me, and I will never hold her, she has blessed my life and given me back my Awe in God.

[JCPACandMommy]

Originally Posted by Hope4More Warning, my m/c baby is mentioned below: So when I lost my baby last week, i was 8 weeks, but my baby was only 6 weeks when she grew wings. I was searching for jewelry on etsy, and came across a woman who will make a sculpture of the age of your angel baby so you can have a tangible reminder of your child. I know this is not for most, and some of you just shook your head and qualified me under crazy, but I bought the six week baby sculpture for five dollars. It came today. The moment I saw it, all my sadness went away, and I was just amazed by LIFE! This baby inside me, who measured about 4 mm, had a beating heart, and a pancreas, and the beginning of the intestines and appendix. I am so amazed and, well, humbled as I look at this tiny tiny baby in my hand that I was able to be a part of that, even if it was for 8 short weeks. Even though my baby will never know me, and I will never hold he'd, she has blessed my life and given me back my Awe in God.

Awww mama! Im so glad this has given you closur and you are NOT crazy!! I think it is a wonderful thing you can have and HOLD!

Originally Posted by Hope4More I got my first negative test on a opk yesterday (hcg still reads slightly positive), so when the CBE fertility monitor told me to pee on a stick this morning (11 days post d&c), I did. It says I'm ovulating today. I think not... I'm so ready for this cycle to be over. And as an unrelated but related side note, I've been spotting since October 9th, and finally stopped Saturday, but can't dtd until the 5th when I see the doc. OMG, its the longest 4 weeks of my LIFE. I just want some s*x. ETA: and the actual opk today is a blaring positive. I give up this cycle. I'm just gonna take a bath in NPC in a week and start over...

I'm right there with you I just want this to be over and know the NEXT step! I haven't done any testing accept the HCG Quant... I don't even know where to begin with all of this Im just playing it by ear and doing what the Dr. says! I am still spotting some from the D&C but mostly just tiny light pinkish color...I hope you get your BFP soon mama!

AFM: Had my HGC redrawn today and down from 11,000 to 5,389... Will do another pill of Leucovorin tomorrow and then a redraw on Weds again an then schedule an US follow up to get the plan for my next BFP! I really hope it doesn't take 17 months like this last one did just to lose both....I am healing well physically hardly any pain and emotionally I think I am doing well...Just ready for the next step and get that BFP and little Bean in my arms! KWIM (as if you don't!)

[Hope4More]

Originally Posted by JCPACandMommy AFM: Had my HGC redrawn today and down from 11,000 to 5,389... Will do another pill of Leucovorin tomorrow and then a redraw on Weds again an then schedule an US follow up to get the plan for my next BFP! I really hope it doesn't take 17 months like this last one did just to lose both....I am healing well physically hardly any pain and emotionally I think I am doing well...Just ready for the next step and get that BFP and little Bean in my arms! KWIM (as if you don't!)

I don't think it will take 17 months this time. You know not to do any of the treatments you started out with 17 months ago because they didn't work. You start out this time with an edge of wisdom, KWIM? It took us a long time with ds, and a LOT of trial and error. When we started ttc #2, I picked right back up on the meds I left off on with jake. I had to add a little bit (mostly because I wasn't eating low glycemic this time around), and it took much less time to conceive. I hope we are both only taking a pit stop back in this thread (although you ladies are NEVER gonna get rid of me- I will go through withdrawal and need to be medicated. The idea of my phone BATTERY dying when I'm out of the house freaks me out, let alone voluntarily leaving. I am a cheerleader for life, with breaks of climbing into the madness to struggle ttc here and there).