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Old 10-07-2012, 05:43 PM   #11
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It's been crazy around here lately, and I've gone back and forth a lot about what the right thing to do is. I know that foster care can be a great thing and is very much necessary in some situations but I've also seen what being "in the system" can do to a child and a family. The whole idea scares me. I think part of that is because I have had a couple of really bad experiences with the foster care system. Unfortunately dad told me Friday that he got a call from cps and someone has made a report against him. Looks like we are going to end up with no option but to have them involved and since I don't know what is going on there I have just told everyone she has to stay here with me until we talked to someone from cps and get it cleared up. Thankfully mom totally agrees and is willing to help financially support k and dad threw a fit when support was brought up so I dropped it. A few bucks isn't worth fighting over. I guess now we just wait and see. We won't be able to talk to anyone until Tuesday. At that point we will be contacting an attorney too probably, I think it's become necessary. Thanks for the support and advice and allowing me to vent a little

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Old 10-18-2012, 12:23 PM   #12
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There is a subforum is Parenting on here for foster and adoptive parents. There are some wonderful ladies there who would likely have some great advice for you.
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Old 10-19-2012, 02:32 PM   #13
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I have been in a very similar situation. Feel free to PM me if ever you would like to chat.

Depending on how long you have had the baby it's abandonment in some states and grounds for mom to lose rights.

"You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart;
that will take your life and light it up or destroy it.
Then, you become a mother."

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Old 10-19-2012, 02:38 PM   #14
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Re: Raising other people's children, WWYD?

when i lived with other family members they were given foodstamps for me as well as cash assistance (like child support) my mother ended up having to pay the state all that back too. you might want to look into that
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Old 11-02-2012, 12:20 PM   #15
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Just came across this thread and wanted to send many many to you mama! It sounds like you're doing a really amazing job in a very tough situation. I hope everything is okay over there!
Happy to be mama to my sweet little home birthed, breastfed, extended rear facing, co-sleeping, cloth diapered, snuggled and loved baby girl Havana Desai 5-18-09
Blessed to be mama to my little Angel Teya Mackenzie born into heaven on 3-27-08
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Old 11-02-2012, 12:30 PM   #16
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Re: Raising other people's children, WWYD?

I don't think you necessarily have to go through the foster care system. Since you have been the one caring for the child for this long you can file for legal guardianship. If the mom doesn't pay anything to you to help you raise the child then you can get assistance on her behalf, of which the mom would be responsible for paying back at some point. I know my grandmother got custody of my sister and I this way. We were not part of the foster system.
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Jaden (8.06), Mara (8.07), Fenn (5.09),
Elias (7.10), & Levi (11.11) 80lbs lost!
*i* Loved and Lost (6/12), (9/12), & (2/13) *i*
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