Diaper Swappers

BlackRose · 11-03-2012, 01:29 AM

My cousin's friend had her ask me if I'd want to adopt her baby, my cousin did so knowing that I have been trying/wanting another baby for close to 7 years now. What I know of the birth mom is that she already has one daughter and is 6 weeks pregnant. She is wanting to go into the military but they don't accept single parents. So her plan is to sign over rights of her daugther to her mom and adopt the baby out. She is wanting an open adoption.

It brought me to tears that my cousin would think of me for this. I'm at a loss of where to go from here. I've looked online and it says that I'd have to no live with anyone. This worries me since once my grandmother gets her new house I will be moving in with her to help her and be there for her. I've seen this as God giving me a sign that we will bless me with what I've been praying for if I just put the effort in to make myself/life better.

Sorry for the jumbled ramble. Any help and info appreciated.

sunnymommy · 11-03-2012, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackRose

I'm at a loss of where to go from here. I've looked online and it says that I'd have to no live with anyone. This worries me since once my grandmother gets her new house I will be moving in with her to help her and be there for her.

What you would need to start with is contacting an adoption attorney or agency to help you with a private identified (meaning that the birth parent and adopting parent already know each other) adoption. The attorney will need to meet with the birth mom and tell you what requirements you would need to meet, likely getting an adoptive home study done. I am not sure where you are getting the not live with anyone part. That shouldn't be a problem.

BlackRose · 11-03-2012, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnymommy

What you would need to start with is contacting an adoption attorney or agency to help you with a private identified (meaning that the birth parent and adopting parent already know each other) adoption. The attorney will need to meet with the birth mom and tell you what requirements you would need to meet, likely getting an adoptive home study done. I am not sure where you are getting the not live with anyone part. That shouldn't be a problem.

Thanks for the point in the right direction. I will be contacting attorneys on Monday.

It was in Utah Adoption Laws that I found online. It says you that they require you to own/rent your own house.

sunnymommy · 11-03-2012, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackRose

It was in Utah Adoption Laws that I found online. It says you that they require you to own/rent your own house.

Hmmm.. well each state is different and sometimes very specific. I don't know anything about Utah. I am guess though that it has to do with showing being able to financially support the child.

MillieP · 11-03-2012, 11:20 PM

Is the birth father also interested is placing the baby with you?

Agree, definitely contact an adoption attorney for what the next steps would be. Exciting!

BlackRose · 11-05-2012, 03:11 PM

The BM is underage and the dad isn't involved. Therefore according to Utah law he has no rights. My cousins husband went through this a year or so ago.

WynneBabies · 11-05-2012, 03:21 PM

At 6 weeks along, the bio father has time to become involved (as it wasn't long ago he was "involved" with the mom, if you know what I mean). I know Utah has laws that are extremely unfavorable to bio fathers, but it still is something to take into consideration this early in the game. If the mom is underage, I'm assuming you mean she will not turn 18 before the baby is born? If so, I know some places that mom's parents have to approve the adoption since the mom is still a minor.

BlackRose · 11-06-2012, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WynneBabies

At 6 weeks along, the bio father has time to become involved (as it wasn't long ago he was "involved" with the mom, if you know what I mean). I know Utah has laws that are extremely unfavorable to bio fathers, but it still is something to take into consideration this early in the game. If the mom is underage, I'm assuming you mean she will not turn 18 before the baby is born? If so, I know some places that mom's parents have to approve the adoption since the mom is still a minor.

I do believe she will be 18 shortly after the baby is born. From what my cousin has told me the father was a exboyfriend that she only saw again for that 1 time.

MillieP · 11-07-2012, 06:45 PM

Even if the dad doesn't have "legal" rights I still think its worth reaching out on a moral and ethical level.

WynneBabies · 11-07-2012, 08:58 PM

No matter what the circumstances, the dad still has legal rights. He's the biological father. Utah is tricky though. Anywhere else they would need to get his approval for the adoption.

11-03-2012, 01:29 AM	#1
BlackRose Registered Users Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Utah Posts: 1,189 Ratings: 18 Feedback: 100%	Asked to be adoptive parent... My cousin's friend had her ask me if I'd want to adopt her baby, my cousin did so knowing that I have been trying/wanting another baby for close to 7 years now. What I know of the birth mom is that she already has one daughter and is 6 weeks pregnant. She is wanting to go into the military but they don't accept single parents. So her plan is to sign over rights of her daugther to her mom and adopt the baby out. She is wanting an open adoption. It brought me to tears that my cousin would think of me for this. I'm at a loss of where to go from here. I've looked online and it says that I'd have to no live with anyone. This worries me since once my grandmother gets her new house I will be moving in with her to help her and be there for her. I've seen this as God giving me a sign that we will bless me with what I've been praying for if I just put the effort in to make myself/life better. Sorry for the jumbled ramble. Any help and info appreciated. Last edited by BlackRose; 11-03-2012 at 01:34 AM.

11-03-2012, 11:20 PM	#5
MillieP Registered Users Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 30 Ratings: 2 Feedback: 100%	Re: Asked to be adoptive parent... Is the birth father also interested is placing the baby with you? Agree, definitely contact an adoption attorney for what the next steps would be. Exciting!

11-05-2012, 03:11 PM	#6
BlackRose Registered Users Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Utah Posts: 1,189 Ratings: 18 Feedback: 100%	Re: Asked to be adoptive parent... The BM is underage and the dad isn't involved. Therefore according to Utah law he has no rights. My cousins husband went through this a year or so ago. Last edited by BlackRose; 11-06-2012 at 01:54 PM.

11-05-2012, 03:21 PM	#7
WynneBabies Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 6,294 Ratings: 219 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Asked to be adoptive parent... At 6 weeks along, the bio father has time to become involved (as it wasn't long ago he was "involved" with the mom, if you know what I mean). I know Utah has laws that are extremely unfavorable to bio fathers, but it still is something to take into consideration this early in the game. If the mom is underage, I'm assuming you mean she will not turn 18 before the baby is born? If so, I know some places that mom's parents have to approve the adoption since the mom is still a minor. __________________ A SAHM to four long out of diapers (all used cloth for all or part of their diapering years) and a baby girl currently in cloth part time.

11-07-2012, 06:45 PM	#9
MillieP Registered Users Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 30 Ratings: 2 Feedback: 100%	Re: Asked to be adoptive parent... Even if the dad doesn't have "legal" rights I still think its worth reaching out on a moral and ethical level.