Pregnancy After Loss (November)

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by PaisleyDeann I just found this thread and I want to join all you ladies My name is Amanda and I have 2 little girls (4.5 and 2.5) and a wonderful DH. We got pregnant last fall and were due in July. On January 3rd I started bleeding and went to the ER where we discovered our baby has passed. My first appointment was only a couple days away and we had been waiting to hear the baby's heartbeat I was 10 weeks but the baby measured around 7-8 weeks. No one in my family had ever miscarried, I never expected it with 2 prior total normal pregnancies. Just was very emotionally hard on my husband and I and our oldest daughter who understood the loss and had to heal as well. I was unprepared to deal with the loss and still feel sadness over it. Last month was our first month NTNP, but that quickly turned into kind of TTC when I started to feel ovulation pain and started temping etc. Anyways it worked the first month and we are due July 15th!!!! We are so excited but I am so nervous!!!! Looking forward to getting to know you ladies!!!

Amanda - don't know if you remember me, but we were in the JuneBugs group together

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean, about it being totally unexpected after your healthy pregnancies - we had our first 3 pregnancies with no troubles before we had any losses. Then 3 followed before we got a sticky Levi.
It sounds... maybe strange, maybe odd... but the first and 2nd miscarriages were the hardest - the first because it was totally a shock, the 2nd because I (naively) thought it couldn't possibly happen twice. After those ones it got... easier somehow. Then we lost Elli... and that was a whole different loss altogether.
It is totally normal to feel sadness about your loss - it was at the time, it is now, and it will be for the rest of your years. Grief is strange, and comes and goes (seemingly) with no rhyme or reason. That's totally normal. I've found, honestly, it's easier to let the waves of emotion come. Don't fight them. Just let them come, and they will recede.

(and sorry for the novel there)

Congrats on your new little bean! for many healthy months to come with this new little one growing inside you.
This is an absolutely wonderful group, I'm so glad you found it... while at the same time so sorry you "belong" here. It's okay to say what's on your mind. Even if we haven't felt the same, we are here to listen and to lend a shoulder when needed.

[yellowitchgrl]

Hey, still chugging along here. Everything still seems to be okay, although I can't ever seem to fully trust that. Still I'm preparing and all that.

Still thinking about all of you and praying for you!

[PaisleyDeann]

Originally Posted by canadianbakers Amanda - don't know if you remember me, but we were in the JuneBugs group together I am so sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean, about it being totally unexpected after your healthy pregnancies - we had our first 3 pregnancies with no troubles before we had any losses. Then 3 followed before we got a sticky Levi. It sounds... maybe strange, maybe odd... but the first and 2nd miscarriages were the hardest - the first because it was totally a shock, the 2nd because I (naively) thought it couldn't possibly happen twice. After those ones it got... easier somehow. Then we lost Elli... and that was a whole different loss altogether. It is totally normal to feel sadness about your loss - it was at the time, it is now, and it will be for the rest of your years. Grief is strange, and comes and goes (seemingly) with no rhyme or reason. That's totally normal. I've found, honestly, it's easier to let the waves of emotion come. Don't fight them. Just let them come, and they will recede. (and sorry for the novel there) Congrats on your new little bean! for many healthy months to come with this new little one growing inside you. This is an absolutely wonderful group, I'm so glad you found it... while at the same time so sorry you "belong" here. It's okay to say what's on your mind. Even if we haven't felt the same, we are here to listen and to lend a shoulder when needed.

Of course I remember you!!!!!!! So you must have an almost 2.5 year old, I remember you called that little baby nudge right?!?! I do remember last year you were a junebug and I was in the July group and I ended up reading about your loss with Elli :'( I am so sorry I am so thankful to see you back here! So when are you due?

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by yellowitchgrl Hey, still chugging along here. Everything still seems to be okay, although I can't ever seem to fully trust that. Still I'm preparing and all that. Still thinking about all of you and praying for you!

Sarah - I kwym about not fully trusting that.
I'm glad you're preparing and that things are going well for you!

Originally Posted by PaisleyDeann Of course I remember you!!!!!!! So you must have an almost 2.5 year old, I remember you called that little baby nudge right?!?! I do remember last year you were a junebug and I was in the July group and I ended up reading about your loss with Elli :'( I am so sorry I am so thankful to see you back here! So when are you due?

Yup, Levi is nearly 2.5... and rotten as all get-out! And, yes, he was my wee Nudge!
Thank you. Losing Elli was the hardest thing I've ever lived through. This pregnancy, honestly, is a close second so far. It's been really tough, and is definitely our last pregnancy no matter the outcome.

I'm due April 14th with this Babe. So far things seem... okay... I guess. I haven't been to my Dr for any appts yet. I have a ton of anxiety about going back to his office - the last time I was in there was when we got and read over the initial u/s report for Elliana. But I plan to go sometime next week after I get all this bday stuff out of the way.
I likely will get referred for the 20wk u/s then, and have anxiety about that too - I just need to see a healthy, moving baby on that screen.

The big thing with Elliana was lack of movement - I knew what I was feeling (just little bumps here and there, never kicks or wiggles) wasn't normal, wasn't what I'd felt with any of my other babies. And I had a strange feeling the whole pregnancy that something wasn't right.
So this time, movement has been a HUGE thing for me. I have felt Babe move and it is definitely different than with Elli... yet it doesn't feel the same as with the others either - although I keep telling myself that it likely is, I'm just remembering things differently this time.


This morning I was poking and rubbing Babe, trying to get him to move - he doesn't "wake up" when I do in the mornings, like the other babies always did. So I was bugging him and getting no response, as usual. Finally I gave up - then felt 4 or 5 kinda... rippling bumps - a bump started and then moved across my belly - and then one big shove on one side.
I'm still that things are okay in there. I don't have much hope... but I'm and , if that makes any sense.

[Harmony96]

Welcome, Amanda!

Sarah, good to hear you checking in.

[PaisleyDeann]

Originally Posted by canadianbakers I'm due April 14th with this Babe. So far things seem... okay... I guess. I haven't been to my Dr for any appts yet. I have a ton of anxiety about going back to his office - the last time I was in there was when we got and read over the initial u/s report for Elliana. But I plan to go sometime next week after I get all this bday stuff out of the way. I likely will get referred for the 20wk u/s then, and have anxiety about that too - I just need to see a healthy, moving baby on that screen. The big thing with Elliana was lack of movement - I knew what I was feeling (just little bumps here and there, never kicks or wiggles) wasn't normal, wasn't what I'd felt with any of my other babies. And I had a strange feeling the whole pregnancy that something wasn't right. So this time, movement has been a HUGE thing for me. I have felt Babe move and it is definitely different than with Elli... yet it doesn't feel the same as with the others either - although I keep telling myself that it likely is, I'm just remembering things differently this time. This morning I was poking and rubbing Babe, trying to get him to move - he doesn't "wake up" when I do in the mornings, like the other babies always did. So I was bugging him and getting no response, as usual. Finally I gave up - then felt 4 or 5 kinda... rippling bumps - a bump started and then moved across my belly - and then one big shove on one side. I'm still that things are okay in there. I don't have much hope... but I'm and , if that makes any sense.

I will be praying for you everyday. You poor thing I know what you mean about being excited but not wanting to get too excited just in case Things were not the same for me last time either, I only threw up 5 times in 10 weeks whereas with my girls I threw up 10+ times a day. Yesterday when i wiped i *thought* i saw some pinkish blood but now I'm not sure since I haven't seen anything since. Ugh I will spend 9 months over analyzing too.... It's so hard... I will be praying for the very best news at your 20 week ultrasound <3

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by PaisleyDeann I will be praying for you everyday. You poor thing I know what you mean about being excited but not wanting to get too excited just in case Things were not the same for me last time either, I only threw up 5 times in 10 weeks whereas with my girls I threw up 10+ times a day. Yesterday when i wiped i *thought* i saw some pinkish blood but now I'm not sure since I haven't seen anything since. Ugh I will spend 9 months over analyzing too.... It's so hard... I will be praying for the very best news at your 20 week ultrasound <3

Thank you
it was just some weird spot in the tp that made it look pinkish (seriously, I HATE when that happens!), and it doesn't happen again.

[twinpossible]

Hi Ladies,
I was just reading to catch up Glad everyone is doing okay. My friend who lost a baby a little less then a year ago just found out she is pregnant and due in June. I told her about our group so hopefully we will see a new person around soon!

Everything is going well here. I was really sick with a nasty cold, worse I have ever had this week so that's why I went MIA! I am better now and saw the family doc yesterday, no ear infections or chest issues thankfully. He was not at all concerned about our little girl's 2V cord which was great. We are doing our OB consult on Monday so hopefully that goes well, our midwife is coming with us. I love that this little one is active, mostly when I lie down or after I eat one of her favorite foods. It is so nice to feel little baby movements, I know soon those will turn painful but for now it is a sign she is alive and well. Hugs to everyone!

[myblessedbaby]

Originally Posted by Harmony96 Welcome, Amanda! Sarah, good to hear you checking in.

Twinpossible: Sorry about the cold. Seems to be going around here too. My kids have been sick and it's just beginning for me. Glad your cord issues seems to be less of a big deal

[TS8213]

Sorry to those of you who've been feeling crummy. Once I get past the m/s stage of pregnancy I rarely ever get any sort of illness. I rarely get sick when I'm not pregnant, except for sinus/allergy stuff and a few bouts of strep every winter. I chalk it up to working in healthcare and being exposed to everything under the son. My kids are rarely sick either. Maybe 1x/yr for each of them? Knock on wood!

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