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Old 11-07-2012, 07:17 PM   #11
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

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I really think, from experience, that if you just make it fun and exciting, it lessens or totally kills the jealousy issue.

As far as her being rocked or cosleeping, your lap will fit 2 kids, and your bed will probably hold 2 kids, too.

If not, why not transition her out of those things now, before the baby comes? You have the time before the baby arrives. We just moved our 18 mo old out of the crib and to the bottom bunk in ds room so the newbie can use the crib when he arrives.

Could part of it be that you are having trouble with the idea of her growing up?
YES!!! I HATE the idea of her growing up!! LOL But she is also very, VERY resistant to sleeping along in her own bed. I totally won't mind having two in bed with me, BUT Josie is also very touchy-feely. She has to be right next to me, and that's going to be a problem with nursing Jase. Right now I have a super awesome Boppy maternity pillow, and she literally has to be IN it with me. We're getting an Arm's Reach co-sleeper for Jase so that she doesn't roll on him or anything, but it's still going to be a challenge. And since DH works nights, she also won't tolerate being in bed alone, so when I get up to go change him, rock, nurse, whatever, she's going to want to come too. In the middle of the night, that's going to suck. lol

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Old 11-07-2012, 07:24 PM   #12
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

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Thank you guys so much. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who felt that way! She DOES love to help, even without Jase here yet. She puts clothes from the washer into the dryer, helps wipe down the table, etc. On top of what I posted, I also worry about their being a big jealousy issue with her, since she does still cosleep, and we rock in the rocking chair, etc. She is very much the baby right now. She loooves babies and I think she'll love Jase and do well with him, but it's the time that he'll take me away from her that i'm worried about.
My first was 26 months when the second was born, and it's been just fine. She loved him from day one. We coslept at least part of the night until he was born, then we explained that he needed to sleep with us and she got to sleep in her bed. I was worried about her being jealous but it was really a non-issue. In the morning she wakes up and comes in with us after my husband goes to work and it so SO cute to see the smile on both of their faces; they make eachother very happy. it was a lot closer than we had planned, but everything has been just great.
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Old 11-07-2012, 08:36 PM   #13
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I had the exact same feelings as you while I was pregnant with my second!
My dd was just shy of 17 months when my second was born. She had been sleeping in our bed and we transitioned her to her own bed about a month after the new baby. She did great and didnt cry.
She didn't show signs of jealousy just confusion I think. Like, even though I told her throughout my pregnancy that a baby was coming she was young so she didn't fully understand.
The only problems I had was her wanting to hug too hard or kiss too much.
Also, in the beginning it was hard having two under two because my dd wanted to be held a lot while I held baby but I would sit on the couch and cuddle her beside me while I fed baby.
I love how close in age they are because they are the best of friends at 2 (dd) and 10 mo (ds).
My ds loves his big sister and my dd is VERY protective of her "baby brother" :-)
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Old 11-07-2012, 11:07 PM   #14
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

I think you might already be better at time management than you realize. You managed to quickly get pregnant while your H has a different sleeping schedule and your daughter cosleeps. Amazing.
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:42 AM   #15
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

Well, first of all, congrats on your pregnancy! But, I totally understand your concerns about how this is going to affect your little girl. It's not easy knowing how to get a young child ready for a new baby-especially if they're as young as your little girl is. But, I think you're on the right track by thinking about this ahead of time and trying to help her adjust now. And, when the baby comes, hopefully your husband can give you some breaks and help you in making sure you're spending enough time with your little girl and making her feel special. In fact, I came across an article while at Focus on the Family called "Our toddler is having a hard time adjusting to our new baby" that gave some suggestions in this area. So, it might be worthwhile to do a search on their website for this material if you have the chance. Well, I'll be praying that this transition will go smoothly. Hang in there!
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Old 11-08-2012, 06:20 PM   #16
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

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I think you might already be better at time management than you realize. You managed to quickly get pregnant while your H has a different sleeping schedule and your daughter cosleeps. Amazing.
LOL I KNOW RIGHT!! Creativity at it's best.
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Old 11-08-2012, 06:33 PM   #17
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

all of mine are 2 years apart...leading up to the birth of each new baby, I've always taken steps (bittersweet) to help the current baby become more independent so that the new baby wouldn't be the trigger for all of the changes.

I've tried to encourage the "big sister" or "big brother" role...but at the same time, I've chosen to continue to "baby" the 2 year old sibling as much as possible (hold, read to, hug, snuggle etc...).

A friend of mine who had babies 2 years apart and had a large family, would always call the 2nd youngest "the baby" or "baby" long after the new baby arrived...and would ALWAYS refer to the new baby by his or her name. This helped the young toddler not feel so displaced as the "baby" of the family.

Its a juggling act...and it involves some letting go...but it doesn't have to be drastic
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Old 11-11-2012, 06:31 PM   #18
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^^ that is a great idea


I didn't read all of the responses. I just wanted to say. There are about to be 9 grand kids between 3 moms under the age of 6. Close is how out family likes to do it...

I LOVE being close in age to my sisters. We are all 2 years apart and thought it is tough at first... It is amazing to relate so well to my siblings and all go through the same stages of life at the same time.
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Old 11-24-2012, 10:12 AM   #19
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

DS1 and DS2 are 2yrs 5 months apart.
DS2 and DS3 are 2yrs 3 months apart.
DS3 and DD are 2 yrs 7 months apart.

And with each of them it has been a little bit of an adjustment, but we've done just fine. I can tell you that my ring sling and my Baby Bean Wrap have been life savers! There are times when it's tough, but we all adjusted and are fine.

*hugs*
God bless!
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Old 11-24-2012, 10:20 AM   #20
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Re: Stealing her infancy...a worried momma

My kids are just under 12 months apart. My DD LOVES her brother! She can't remember a time when he wasn't here. They are each others best friends (they even sit in time out w/ each other ). She had to adjust, but the baby is the priority in the beginning (food/changing wise). My DD wasn't even walking when DS was born and tried to help take care of him. In short, they'll figure it out. There will be times when she doesn't get what she wants right away and gets upset, but that's life. She'll still be a happy little girl with a sibling to love and care for
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