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Old 11-15-2012, 06:42 AM   #1
againsttheoddsmom
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pain beyond anything

Hi all, I need advice so much.

2 years I was forced to give my daughter up for adoption. I was in an abusive relationship, and my daughters father did not want hher. He tried to cause miscarriages, tried to force me into an abortion clinic and finally settled on adoption. I found a family I liked they seemed perfect. We drew up an adoption contract that stipulated that if they changes their minds about the adoption I would have the ability to adopt my daughter back. I was not represented by an attorney, I wanted one but the adoptive parents told me that theirs could represent us both and that would save money for them taking care of Ella.

I terminated once then 10 days later got a call from the adoptive parents saying I had to terminate again. I asked them if we could come together and talk out the adoption, they said no, they were in Houston TX and I was in San Marcos TX they were on their way back to their state and weren't coming back. My ex then literally carried me into a ups store to sign documents that I don't know what they said to this day.

I carried my grief for these years convinced that it was ok for my daughter even though what happened to me was wrong I kept in contact with the adoptive mom and even got to visit. Then 3 weeks ago I heard through other ppl that the adoptive family had given her away without telling me. They had been investigated for neglect and abuse by CPA and all of my daughters symptoms appear to reflect abuse. I don't know where my daughter is, if she's ok or if I will ever see her again. I can never forgive myself for what I've done to my poor little girl.

What do I do?

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Old 11-15-2012, 08:23 AM   #2
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Last edited by galesville1980; 11-15-2012 at 06:56 PM.
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Old 11-15-2012, 09:27 AM   #3
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Hugs mama! How heartbreaking. I'd check with a lawyer to see what can be done, but I imagine the original documents you signed will limit what recourse you have. Depending on the family she is with, maybe they will be willing to continue contact. Maybe the foster moms on here can give you some advice regarding who to contact in the system.
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Old 11-15-2012, 09:30 AM   #4
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Re: pain beyond anything

You need an attorney. NOW. Family law. There is no other answer.

Do you still have your relinquishment papers? Do you remember the names of any social workers?

If the child is in CPS custody, it is possible that the foster parents would be open to contact. I would ask your attorney for guidance on this. I will state that it is very unlikely that a contract could be constructed that allows for "adopting back." Relinquishment and termination of parental rights isn't a two way door (wildly rare circumstances aside.) You were told what you wanted to hear.

Get that attorney.
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Old 11-15-2012, 09:48 AM   #5
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Re: pain beyond anything

I don't have any papers otherr than the icpc contract. I wasn't provided anything. My ex may havesomething but since he was arrested for beating me and had a restraining order placed he may not be willing to help
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Old 11-15-2012, 09:52 AM   #6
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Re: pain beyond anything

Ummm, didn't this adoptive mom used to post here? She had an older bio daughter and then went onto to have a bio son too? Horrible. I am so sorry this is happening. I'd try to find out exactly where she is and then find a lawyer familiar with adoption laws and see if you can get a free consult.
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Old 11-15-2012, 09:57 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by WynneBabies View Post
Ummm, didn't this adoptive mom used to post here? She had an older bio daughter and then went onto to have a bio son too? Horrible. I am so sorry this is happening. I'd try to find out exactly where she is and then find a lawyer familiar with adoption laws and see if you can get a free consult.
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Last edited by galesville1980; 11-15-2012 at 01:02 PM.
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:05 AM   #8
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Re: pain beyond anything

OP, please do not blame yourself for this! You were doing what everyone would think to be a wonderful choice for your daughter due to your circumstances at the time. Generally parents who want to adopt are exceptional parents. I'm so sorry this was not the case and it is not your fault!
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:08 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by WynneBabies View Post
OP, please do not blame yourself for this! You were doing what everyone would think to be a wonderful choice for your daughter due to your circumstances at the time. Generally parents who want to adopt are exceptional parents. I'm so sorry this was not the case and it is not your fault!
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***OPEN ADOPTION BLESSED OUR FAMILY TWICE***

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Last edited by galesville1980; 11-15-2012 at 07:01 PM.
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:15 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WynneBabies
Ummm, didn't this adoptive mom used to post here? She had an older bio daughter and then went onto to have a bio son too? Horrible. I am so sorry this is happening. I'd try to find out exactly where she is and then find a lawyer familiar with adoption laws and see if you can get a free consult.
I thought it may be the same person. I'm so sorry OP and I am not sure except that I would hire an attorney ASAP. You did what you thought was best and it isn't your fault.
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