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Old 11-15-2012, 07:37 AM   #61
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

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Doctor? Yes if I was sick or my kids were. Vet? Yes if my pet with injured. Plumber? Yes if I had a leak. It's their jobs to help me with my kids, my pet or my toilet.


You call a service to reach doctors after hours, the doctor on call responds. Yes you can call a plumber after hours. Just be prepared to pay triple the cost. It in NOT appropriate to call teachers at home without their express permission.

OP when you call parents from your phone just punch in the code to block you number before dialing. Of course I can't remember what it is right now.

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Old 11-15-2012, 07:43 AM   #62
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

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I would not call a teacher at home. I would be annoyed if I were a teacher and called at home. But, I think your note to the parents is really rude. I'd be very upset if my kid's teacher sent that to me.
You do recognize that the note wasn't actually sent, don't you? The whole point of this thread seems to be to remind parents that teachers shouldn't be considered available 24/7.
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Old 11-15-2012, 08:09 AM   #63
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I don't think it is okay to call a teacher at home after hours. That said:

I think what makes all the difference in this case is that the teacher called the mom from her home number, in the summer, before the mom called the teacher at home. Just like PPs are saying they would never call a doc or vet at home after hours, my docs and vets have never called me from their homes either, but the OP did call this mom. I can see how an unwitting mom (maybe oblivious to how professional relationships should work) could make the assumption it was okay to call because she had been called first off of school time from the teacher's home number. It may have been annoying, but I don't think it warrants a creepy-stalker title.
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Old 11-15-2012, 08:18 AM   #64
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

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I don't think anyone in their right mind would scold a parent for calling in this situation. I think the point that jbug_4 is making is that a better choice would be to notify the school during school hours. Most schools have access to counselling staff who are trained to respond to the situation correctly. Student suicides are "contagious;" letting the other kids know what is going on needs to be handled by someone with training in that area.
Yes. We seem blur the boundaries. A teacher is a teacher not a counselor or mental health professional nor are they your friend or even your child's friend. The best that a teacher can do in this situation is to be aware and be understanding. There is nothing else that the teacher could or can do until the child returns to school- and even then be aware and understanding are pretty much it. There is no reason the teacher needed to be called at home- it doesn't benefit anyone. When take the emotional aspect out of it and looks at facts- It is not an emergency- an emergency is something the would require immediate action or like the situation indoor kitty wrote about. I don't think anyone would get upset over being called in this situation, but its still not the appropriate thing to do. I wasn't saying- How dare them- but that the situation isn't an emergency and didn't need to be addressed at that time.

I know it doesn't sound like it, but I am incredibly sensitive and empathetic person. I understand why the parent called, but it still doesn't mean they should have. The thread was about calling teachers at home during off hours. The point not being whether the parent was grieving and not concerned with appropriate behavior but the point being- Unless there is something the teacher can do right then or before the next school day then there isn't a reason to call the teacher at home during off hours. Those are the guidelines we follow for calling ANY professional during off hours- Which I can say I have only done once in my life so far- and that was a co-worker when I needed to know where they put something I needed for a counseling session (shocker for everyone who thinks I am insensitive- I was a preschool teacher, a children's group counselor and hotline counselor in a domestic violence shelter). I love people and I care deeply about others.
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:59 AM   #65
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There is a connection between these two items. Perhaps if she had not been manipulated into believing that she was supposed to be "on call" in the evenings then she wouldn't have burned out.
Very, very true. There was a ton of turnover in her district b/c of all of the additional expectations. It makes me sad b/c she's so good with that age group, and now kids won't get to benefit from working with her anymore.

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Old 11-15-2012, 11:16 AM   #66
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

We actually call E's teacher every so often; she gave us her cell and home phone numbers. (Her home phone number was only given to US, not the rest of the class.) I have never called her home phone number; I have only called her cell out of respect. I also send notes like a mad woman. I can't imagine it couldn't wait or she couldn't send a note. *We communicate so much because E is coming off a 20 hr long surgery and misses about an hour of school a day for medical reasons.* Managing to keep up while missing an hour a day in a gifted and talented class is very tough for E and requires a lot of scheduling tweaks that I need to be aware of in case anything happens. to you, mama!

Also, we have had many emergency situations with E and have never called her urologist or doc directly. We go to the ER, see the doc in specialty on call and he or she has the freedom to call E's doc. *This happened the last time we were in the ER.* I felt bad the doc on call had to call E's doc, but he knows a lot more about E than the doc on call does and it was during acceptable hours. I've also been called directly by E's docs on my cell from their private cells and I've never saved their numbers. They have lives, too.
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:10 PM   #67
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
Would you call your doctor at home? Your vet? Your plumber? Your child's teacher is no different.
I cleaned for a pedi. She gave her personal cell to her patient's parents. The vet we took our cat to had after hours calls directed to his home. The plumbers also gave their home numbers as the after hours emergency contact. I had to call a locksmith to open my car at 5am. My kiddo was locked in the car with my car keys. My knee accidentally hit the automatic lock when I got out. I didn't realise until the door was shut. The number for the locksmith was either his home number or was routed there after hours.

So comparing this with the teachers says that yes it is okay to call after hours.

Now honestly I have never wanted to call a teacher after hours. I have though had a teacher call me. I think it was around 3:30-4:00.

For every week day my kids get off of school I am guaranteed at least 2 automated phone calls from the superintendent of our local schools. Next week I will get at least one call for each child I have in school. For some reason I sometimes get 2 from the principal and 2 from the super. These calls will come in any time between 8am and 9 pm.
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:43 PM   #68
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

As for weather or not it is appropriate to call a teacher at home. I still do not see any reason this would be necessary. In the instance of death in the family I guess calling the kid's teachers ranks somewhere on the same level as calling the grocery clerk at the store I regularly shop at. They know me and my kids as we are in often. Probably better than I know my kids teachers as the teachers are here this year and off to another next year. Likely because I have gotten to know them after 4 years shopping there I would mention something next time I see them. I would not however give even a passing thought to calling them.

A teacher teaches that is it. They don't do anything else. They are not healthcare professionals, either mental or physical. They are not counselors. When you consider how many students are in a class they only spend on average 18 minutes a day on each child individually assuming a class size of 20. I do not understand what a teacher would be expected to do for a child even if the child's entire family minus the phone calling mama were to die.
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:52 PM   #69
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

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Originally Posted by qsefthuko View Post
I cleaned for a pedi. She gave her personal cell to her patient's parents. The vet we took our cat to had after hours calls directed to his home. The plumbers also gave their home numbers as the after hours emergency contact. I had to call a locksmith to open my car at 5am. My kiddo was locked in the car with my car keys. My knee accidentally hit the automatic lock when I got out. I didn't realise until the door was shut. The number for the locksmith was either his home number or was routed there after hours.

So comparing this with the teachers says that yes it is okay to call after hours.

Now honestly I have never wanted to call a teacher after hours. I have though had a teacher call me. I think it was around 3:30-4:00.

For every week day my kids get off of school I am guaranteed at least 2 automated phone calls from the superintendent of our local schools. Next week I will get at least one call for each child I have in school. For some reason I sometimes get 2 from the principal and 2 from the super. These calls will come in any time between 8am and 9 pm.
You have some unusually available doctors and plumbers. (I never been able to get a plumber to show up on the day he said he would, let alone after hours.) I think that has skewed your expectations.

It is not standard professional behavior to give out personal contact information to patients or clients. A service person (plumber, locksmith) who chooses to answer a business phone after hours is agreeing to work after hours (usually for an inflated rate.)

Setting aside the unusual behavior of your doctors, by giving you a cell number and saying "call me" they are explicitly giving you permission to contact them in this way. The OP did not give out her cell number and say that parents could call her with questions. She used her home phone to contact parents over the summer and the parent presumed that it was okay to call because the number was on the caller id. This is a presumption far beyond what most people would expect when making a work call from a non-work number.

If you don't believe that calling teachers at home is inappropriate, then you are mistaken. It is. No amount of justifying or complaining about the school system's autocall changes that.
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Old 11-15-2012, 05:10 PM   #70
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Re: A note from your child's teacher...

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Originally Posted by pumkinsmommy View Post
You call a service to reach doctors after hours, the doctor on call responds. Yes you can call a plumber after hours. Just be prepared to pay triple the cost. It in NOT appropriate to call teachers at home without their express permission.

OP when you call parents from your phone just punch in the code to block you number before dialing. Of course I can't remember what it is right now.
When someone calls from an unblocked number it's almost automatic for someone to save the number for future use=permission to call them at that number. If the op has such a problem with parents calling then why give out the number; and yes when you call from an unblocked number you are handing out your number. That's probably why doctors don't call you from their home numbers.
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