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Old 11-02-2012, 07:51 PM   #11
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

Originally Posted by MDever View Post
. There was a thread about this a while ago and a mom said that when people say rude things she just looks at them and says "what an odd thing to say..." I am so going to start using that!
I like that one!


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Old 11-03-2012, 11:35 AM   #12
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

We have 11 (2 are my stepsons) and we have definitely gotten our share of comments over the years. It has gotten better with family though. The last time someone mentioned me getting pregnant again, my mom just laughed and said that it wouldn't surprise her. Could have knocked me over w/ a feather since she's been the most vocal about it!

We just don't let the comments bother us anymore. I know, I know, that's easier said than done, right? Believe me, I'm as thin-skinned as can be sometimes, especially when it comes to my family, but we have seen God provide for our needs over and over and over (it's just amazing!!!) so that makes it sooooo much easier. People comment to me all the time about how my kids are so well-behaved and how they get along and are willing to share both toys and work and I know that it's from growing up in a large, hard-working family. So I would suggest to anyone to just let it go and just rest in the knowledge that you're following God's plan for you and your family.
Shari--Wife to Doug, Catholic, open to life, cd'ing, hsing, Mom to 11!!
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Old 11-03-2012, 12:07 PM   #13
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. I was really blessed by a woman at the store this week. She stopped to talk to my baby girl who was on my back in the Ergo. After chatting with my baby, she smiled warmly and said, "You are so blessed." I thanked her and told her people usually tell me my hands are full. She said her children were just a joy. It's nice to hear kind comments occasionally, even if they have to come from a stranger. Thankfully, I live several hours from my family, so they can never say that I am relying on everyone else to raise and pay for my children. I do it all, folks, and I have stopped calling to complain about my kids, life or husband. I think being positive about my life while talking with the negative people will help me not claim their negative thoughts as my own. Thank you, again, for your encouragement and kindness.
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Old 11-03-2012, 12:14 PM   #14
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My dad is like that. He thinks I should only have 2. I have one right now and him and anyone else who says anything (don't know if you're religious) is "it's not up to me how many kids I have. If God wants me to have these kids I will. Kids are a blessing no matter the situation". We all know that even when people have a their tubes tied, they get the snip, birth control or whatever, you still have a chance of getting pregnant. May be smaller chance but you still do. And that's also what I say.

It's not up to them how many kids you have, you're the one raising those kids not them. So I don't see why they are so concerned. I'm sorry you have to deal with people saying things. It's your time to enjoy and embrace more children and you don't need them making you feel bad about it (or your children)
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Old 11-03-2012, 03:01 PM   #15
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

I get hurtful comments for having more after a set of twins. This is the third and we are planning for more. My comment back to hurtful things is "Well we see children as a blessing." Or "I was told 6 years ago I would never have children so having 3 under 2 is such a blessing." If I do not know the person (this happens a lot in grocery stores) I smile and say "That was rude, I LOVE my children."
Bottom line? The size of your family is between you, your spouse and your God. If you need to remind people of that every once in a while then come up with one liners that make you feel better and demonstrate to your children that you DID want each of them!
A crunchy wife to B and momma of identical twin girls G & E , our rainbow
baby C born at home April 2013 and R forever in my heart.
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Old 11-03-2012, 03:41 PM   #16
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Im so sorry that many of you don't feel like you can seek support from your families. Being a parent is stressful and they should be there for you. So sad. I'm glad the pp was encouraged by the stranger who said she is blessed...thats my line! I know that moms of many often get criticism so whenever I have the occasion I usually say what a beautiful family you are so blessed! And I mean it! Your children are lucky as well, coming from am only child who prayed for a big family.

Also I think people will always have something to say. We get comments about only having one child, how we are depriving her by not getting pregnant, really stupid stuff. I just tell myself its not my problem its theirs.
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
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Old 11-03-2012, 04:25 PM   #17
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

I'm pretty sure my family would be super excited for us, no matter how many I would have. I'm expecting my fourth right now, and honestly, I think it's been hard for me to accept than for everyone else The only thing that my Mom might say is that I should stop because of my varicose veins. They are really bad.

I try to cling to what someone told me recently... no one ever regrets having more children. They only regret the ones they didn't have.

Also, my Grandmother had 12. I asked her once if she wished she could have had less children, and she said no. At that time, birth control was completely taboo in our culture. She said she would never have had less children, but she wished she could have spaced them out a bit more, so she could enjoy each one better, and be a better mother to them.
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Old 11-15-2012, 06:11 PM   #18
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

Wow, I really need to remember that... full hands, full heart. I get that comment without fail anytime I go anywhere with my gang (5, 2, 8mo twins)!
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Old 11-15-2012, 06:49 PM   #19
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

My mother-in-law's initial reaction to each child (3 of them) was "how are you going to afford this?!" or something similar. I just try to remember that she's not trying to be a <insert bad word here>, she is just worried about us (I'm not sure why).
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Old 11-15-2012, 06:59 PM   #20
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Re: Hurtful comments about family size...

Personally I could care less when it's strangers but like you op said when its family :sigh: it's harder. Dh is a pastor of a small church and MOST disagree with us in our belief children are a blessing. It's sad but they hear what today's society says- its wasteful irresponsible etc and yes I've even had 2 different members tell so directly . I just start my soapbox but part of me is just sad they are so misguided thinking children are such a burden. They don't know the joy of a full house and warm hearth.
Erin- Helpmeet to David, Deaf. Reformed Christian. Homeschooling. SAHM to 5 on earth, 3 in eternity and currently in the family way! Edd July 2014! Grow baby grow!
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