A note from your child's teacher...

[IndoorKitty]

qsefthuko,

I'm sorry that I misunderstood you. Please accept my apologies.

[IndoorKitty]

Originally Posted by OneFishTwoFish But how did they get his number? I don't know....while I personally wouldn't call a teacher at home (mostly because I WAS a teacher before having kids) if the woman had the number and it was only 7:30 I wouldn't be so upset. If I was super busy and didn't recognize the number I wouldn't answer anyway. When teaching, I always assumed that the general rule was not to call parents from your personal number (or to block it). I wouldn't put the blame on the parent in this way.

I don't understand this logic. Yes, she should have blocked the number. However, I should always lock the front door. If I don't, that doesn't mean that it's okay for you to come in. As for the time, I have lots of friends for whom 7:30 pm is bathtime. If I were elbow deep in suds and answered my phone without thinking (because that's something that is easy to do when I'm distracted,) I would be super annoyed.

[pumkinsmommy]

Originally Posted by *KaiMom* When someone calls from an unblocked number it's almost automatic for someone to save the number for future use=permission to call them at that number. If the op has such a problem with parents calling then why give out the number; and yes when you call from an unblocked number you are handing out your number. That's probably why doctors don't call you from their home numbers.

See I don't agree. That might be the mentality of some who now live on cell phones and such where lines of appropriateness are being lost. When I get a call from a dr or the like, I delete the number after the call as I don't believe it is meant for future use. Especially bothering someone on their personal time.

[qsefthuko]

Originally Posted by IndoorKitty qsefthuko, I'm sorry that I misunderstood you. Please accept my apologies.

No offense. I figured you hadn't quite gotten what I was trying to say.

To be honest I had no idea so many parents felt the need to call the teachers after school hours. Or thought there was an emergency that required calling a teacher. Last time I had an emergency all I could think was 911 and someone watch my 6 year old. Something is very wrong with my 2 year old. I was so flustered I couldn't even get my sisters number to call through. I kept getting my mother who happened to be out of town. She took over calling as I dragged my daughter to the neighbors (thank god for neighbors who dom't mind 11pm beatings on the door) and went to the hospital. In all that, calling my son's doctor let alone my daughter's teacher simply wasn't on my radar. All I could think was get him to the nearest ER.

[carriek38]

Originally Posted by pumkinsmommy See I don't agree. That might be the mentality of some who now live on cell phones and such where lines of appropriateness are being lost. When I get a call from a dr or the like, I delete the number after the call as I don't believe it is meant for future use. Especially bothering someone on their personal time.

I agree...I don't necessarily delete the number (b/c I'm lazy) but I don't save it as a contact, either.

I've worked jobs w/ on-call responsibilities...the agency always made sure we had agency cell phones & were instructed to turn them off at COB (except when you were on-call) so clients DIDN'T think they could have unfettered access to us during our personal time, or we were given the agency on-call cell to carry during our rotation (if we didn't need a cell the rest of the time for safety regulations). I've never been expected to call clients back from my own personal phone (cell or home). I really think that teachers, on their own time, calling parents b/c it's the most convenient for the parent is a really nice courtesy. IMO, if that were part of their normal duties, either their hours would be longer so they could address things from the school, or they would be given a school cell for those after-hours communications. The fact that neither is true in most cases, would be enough to deter me from calling.

[jbug_4]

Originally Posted by OneFishTwoFish But how did they get his number? I don't know....while I personally wouldn't call a teacher at home (mostly because I WAS a teacher before having kids) if the woman had the number and it was only 7:30 I wouldn't be so upset. If I was super busy and didn't recognize the number I wouldn't answer anyway. When teaching, I always assumed that the general rule was not to call parents from your personal number (or to block it). I wouldn't put the blame on the parent in this way.

7:30 is not late, but a lot of people with kids are busy during this time. For me personally it is the time I am getting kids ready for bed- we are brushing teeth, putting on jammies, reading books. And I consider that when I call other people. Same as not calling in between 5-6, I don't because that is when most people are having dinner. Personally I don't answer the phone unless one of my kids in not with me (dd at school). If both kids are with me and I am not expecting a call I don't answer- been that way since I was teenager, I don't like talking on the phone. If its important they will leave a message and I will get back with them. It wouldn't matter to me at all when you called- unless you woke me or my kids up- because I am not going to answer anyway.

[luvsviola]

Obviously, lesson learned. I will never out of the goodness of my heart trying to help a kid with a scheduling problem call a kid from home again. I live about 30 minutes from work and have 3 young kids, so going in to my classroom just isn't an option on days that I am not getting paid to be there. Next time, the kid will just have to figure out for himself that he didn't put orchestra on his schedule, and deal with changing it at the cattle call of schedule changes the first week of school.

Maybe some people don't care if their family life is interrupted by student calls. I have over 250 students right now 7-12th grade. I've given out my cell number to my students trips for years. Never once has a child called it outside of the trip. The kids have enough manners to know better. I have kids email me, or message me on our orchestra Facebook page all the time. But they don't call.

I leave work at work. I only see my own kids for about 2 hours a day. I get home after rehearsals about 5:30, and the baby and my 3 year old are in bed by 7:30. My daughter is in bed by 8. That is sacred family time. There is nothing that any orchestra parent could ever want that is more important to me during that time. It can wait til the morning, when I get there and check my work voice mail. I even check my work email most nights after the kids are in bed to respond to people. But just because something is an emergency to YOU does not make it one to ME.

My kids are only young once, and I have very little time with them. It is sacred. We don't have caller ID. I'm now considering getting it.

[katengrace]

Originally Posted by luvsviola Dear Parents-- Calling me at 7:30 at night on my home phone is out of line. Next time, my husband won't be so polite. Love, Your Child's Teacher Seriously. I am feeling very stalked and violated. A student in my class's parent apparently has saved my home number on her caller ID since I called her in JULY. She just called me at home at 7:30 at night to ask about something that could have waited til tomorrow. Payment for something is due Friday, and she can't pay til the 23rd. Her son has my class tomorrow. Drop me a note. Drop me an email. Leave me a voicemail. There are million better ways this could be handled. But if you see a teacher on the news next week who went postal on a parent...it was me.

[rileykidmama]

Originally Posted by IndoorKitty I don't understand this logic. Yes, she should have blocked the number. However, I should always lock the front door. If I don't, that doesn't mean that it's okay for you to come in. As for the time, I have lots of friends for whom 7:30 pm is bathtime. If I were elbow deep in suds and answered my phone without thinking (because that's something that is easy to do when I'm distracted,) I would be super annoyed.

Word. And this...

Originally Posted by mibarra See, I disagree, but maybe I'm odd. I don't save numbers in caller ID like that, and always ask "Is this number ok to call you at?" before saving it. I feel like so many things I consider good manners/common courtesy are falling by the wayside in our technology driven age....

[Belle]

Originally Posted by luvsviola Obviously, lesson learned. I will never out of the goodness of my heart trying to help a kid with a scheduling problem call a kid from home again. I live about 30 minutes from work and have 3 young kids, so going in to my classroom just isn't an option on days that I am not getting paid to be there. Next time, the kid will just have to figure out for himself that he didn't put orchestra on his schedule, and deal with changing it at the cattle call of schedule changes the first week of school.

I think it was sweet of you to do that for him. Maybe if you do need to do it again you can block your number when you call as some PPs suggested? But if I felt like I was martyring myself to the extent of the bolded, then I probably would just let the kid figure it out himself and avoid anyone having my home number at the same time, especially if they could do it once school started and it wasn't a permanent problem.

Never once has a child called it outside of the trip. The kids have enough manners to know better. I have kids email me, or message me on our orchestra Facebook page all the time. But they don't call.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation. It was one phone call? From one parent who misunderstood your personal boundaries? One time? And you feel "stalked and violated"? That just seems harsh. Even if your family time is limited and sacred. I guess maybe my response would be that you're dealing with people. Just people. Some people never learn appropriate social boundaries, and maybe some people have different standards than you do. That doesn't make them stalkers, just not very good at keeping boundaries. I think it's okay to tell the parent you don't take school-related calls at home and even be forceful in doing so, but this reaction to one phone call seems over the top. I can see myself making a similar mistake (maybe not to the extent of your parent, but calling someone at a number I shouldn't call or something like that), and if I knew this was how the teacher felt about me, I would be mortified.

Clearly you can see from this thread that everyone has different views on these types of relationships and what's appropriate and what's not, so maybe a little grace or understanding that people are all different and dealing with that many kids and parents...there's bound to be people in there that don't know your standards or are just intrusive people. You are probably much better at actually doing that in practice than this post lets on, but if I got this frustrated at every inappropriate interaction I had with people when I was working, I would have gone mad!!

Then again, I think one of the big reasons I would have a hard time being a teacher would be dealing with all those student personalities and parents on top of them. I would not have enough grace or patience to figure out how to deal with all of the individuals involved. I'm having trouble figuring out how I'm going to do that with 3 kids instead of 2 (not to mention DH!!).