WDYT? Payment to a MW who dropped me at 40+ weeks/MW who picked me up? UPDATED AGAIN

[JamieJLD]

Originally Posted by Belle If you paid in-full to MW1, and it was understood that MW2 was her backup, and this is the arrangement you had in writing with them, then they should work it out between themselves. MW2 should get paid, but how much should be completely a business decision between her and MW1. Even if you aren't paid up and need to give a percentage to MW2, that should be an agreement made between the two of them and you just send the check where it needs to go (with everything agreed to in writing, of course). You shouldn't be out more money than you originally agreed to pay MW1 if they were really working together from the beginning.

I agree. There should be a behind the scenes agreement between the partnered midwives.

That being said, if you have any remaining payments to MW1 I would hold on to that and talk to MW1 and MW2 before you pay either person. But if you are paid in full I think you are kind of stuck hoping that MW1 will make the money part fair.

[kannondicarpo]

Updated.

[kannondicarpo]

Originally Posted by bigmamakelsey Are you paying OOP? Is it really up to you who it goes to? That's crappy she dropped you - but it also sounds like it might be a blessing in disguise. I surely wouldn't want someone that didn't respect my wishes at my birth. ETA: Oh, you already gave birth. Doh, sorry.

Yes, it was so totally and completely a blessing in disguise.

Originally Posted by doulamomma But really, what mw isn't comfortable with a woman going past 40weeks?? Seems off to me. Sounds like she just never felt comfortable with you or something weird.

Yes, she was uncomfortable from the beginning but I didn't really realize what a BIG problem it was until I felt like it was too late to do anything about it. I will say that I learned a lot. I had given her all of my history but for some reason...ugh, I don't know. We hit it off great and I loved her personality but we just weren't a good fit when it came to birth. I don't like when this term is thrown around and I don't use it lightly but I would categorize her as a "MEDwife". It wasn't what I was looking for. I am much more laid back than she could handle. Not all midwives are created equally and my first set of HB MWs spoiled me rotten!!! I am so happy that I got them first and learned to completely trust my body.

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by MommyLyssa Umm...YES. I mean, obviously not all of it, but she did the birth, which is kind of a large part...and also all the PP visits. So sorry about that mess, btw. Don't normally hear MW issues! I mean, obviously there are some, but goodness.

Except about not normally hearing about MW issues - I've had bad experiences with all 4 local MWs, with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies.

Originally Posted by WannaBeGreen2011 We changed doctors over halfway through my pregnancy but only got back about 10% of the payments I paid the first doctor (ante-natal + delivery costs) and still had to pay the second doctor her full fee (ante-natal + delivery + post-partum care). My first doc did NOTHING for us yet we paid her a hefty chunk of change.

How in the world do they charge you for all that stuff upfront?
Noone can see the future, makes more sense to charge/pay as you have appts/tests/etc.

Originally Posted by Hillargh Unless OP got the 2 week late plan in writing, MW1 could say she dropped her for refusing treatment recs. Her word against OP. Unprovable for OP without documentation.

Yes.
Unfortunately, the records are filled in by the MW and she can word things (or "omit" things) as she decides. BTDT.

Originally Posted by kannondicarpo Yes, she was uncomfortable from the beginning but I didn't really realize what a BIG problem it was until I felt like it was too late to do anything about it. I would categorize her as a "MEDwife".

I am glad it all worked out the way it did for ya!

I don't know why she wouldn't have just been either upfront with her opinions and said "I am not comfortable with you going late" from the get-go, or just kept her mouth shut as to her opinions and listened to you as the patient and done what you were asking - if she was asked for her opinion, then she had a place to voice it.

She makes my OB sound like more of a MW than her
With Levi, I told my OB from our first appt (which didn't happen until 35 weeks anyways) that I was planning for a VBAC. He never said a word against it. When I reached 39+ weeks, I told him I wanted to let my body take its time, so I would go to 42 weeks and then induce if nothing happened before. He just said okay. When I reached 41 weeks, he did request that I come in every couple days through that week for NSTs and possibly an u/s based on the NST. Which, at that point, I was fine with.

[kannondicarpo]

bump for update