I'm so pissed

[vatblack]

Count me in the camp that not even a SAHM should be considered by someone OTHER than HERSELF as the primary house cleaner. That would not fly with me personally. If someone likes taking on that role for themselves (like my cousin who I revere as a SAHM and who I have mentioned before I think), then it is really good for them. For me, it is a living hell to clean the house. I can do it so well (I had cleaning jobs as a young person) but I feel my time is better spent on other things.

ETA: I also think you need a convo with your husband about what he considers a clean house. And, if the dishes are little enough, can you do it only once a day? I wash by hand too and sometimes I only get a sink full of dishes once a day (I cook from scratch too - but make a lot of one pot type foods).

[MsGiggles]

I'm all PMSey so I say go for revenge:
Tell him sweetly one night that you thought about what he said and you really want to study how clean he wants the home. So every evening after kids are in bed, he can spend a few hours getting the house all clean to his standard. Every evening. For a full week.

If he caves and just wants to play/relax/prioritize something different one night, smile & tell him you are glad he sees your perspective and you accept his apology.

If he manages to stick with it all week, then clap him on the back and tell him how proud you are that he's got the time to keep the house to his standards all by himself! He has a new duty from this moment on!

[JennTheMomma]

I'd tell him that he needs to clean it then.

I'm a WAHM and I really hate when people try to tell SAHM/WAHMs that because they dont' work out of the home that they need to be responsible 100% for the house. The house is both partners responsability, not 1 persons. And once kids are old enough, it's theirs too.

[mom1mg]

I don't think your house is messy so much as cluttered maybe? Perhaps one week of sorting, purging would be enough to keep both of you happy? Are you able to ask DH without it causing an issue what exactly he isn't happy about? Maybe if you knew specifically what is bothering him it would help for BOTH of you to focus on that area on the weekends? I can get why he was miffed that you hosted a party for somone else if he already thinks (for whatever reason) that you aren't keeping up your end at home. Not that I think that is fair or right but I can understand. Our house looks like yours most days but we are both ok with a little bit of clutter. My sisters house looks like a freaking museum because to her it isn't "clean" unless every single thing is put away - maybe he feels the same?

[adjroberts]

I would tell him to clean it himself if he wasn't happy with it. It sounds to me like you're doing a great job, and your house looks great. He should be more appreciative of the things you do for your family.

[JellEBeanDesigns]

Our house is 900 sq ft with 5 people clutter is part of life

[RainandRedemption]

Personally I think your schedule looks great, and your house is clean. With kids, things are going to be out of place sometimes. Is it a small issue with him that will blow over? If not maybe ask him for a list of things he wants you to do (more) in terms of house cleaning, and for a list of things that he does as far as house cleaning on a regular basis. Make a list of the things you do. When you sit down and compare, it will be clear that you already do a ton. Maybe as a compromise tell him you'll do 1 or 2 things off his list of additional things the house "needs" , but that the rest is his responsibility if he wants it done.

I see why you're upset. Maybe he has something else stressing him out and he'd taking it out on you?

[s@hmommy]

Originally Posted by JellEBeanDesigns Our house is 900 sq ft with 5 people clutter is part of life

Wow, for that many people in that small a space I think the clutter is extremely minimal. There is no way I could keep the clutter as minimal as you have. Great job!

[mcpforever]

Originally Posted by JellEBeanDesigns Our house is 900 sq ft with 5 people clutter is part of life

Your house isn't cluttered by my standards.

[vatblack]

Originally Posted by JellEBeanDesigns Our house is 900 sq ft with 5 people clutter is part of life

Yes, we are in the same boat. I have 3 most of the week but 4 on the weekends in a 820 sq/ft home. Your house looks GREAT by those standards.